Monthly Archives: August 2013

2.7 The Darkling’s Crusade

Is anybody else slightly terrified by this?

‘Cause I know I am. If you’ve read my foreword, you’ll know that I don’t cope too well with these kinds of changes, and neither do my legacies. I tend to get caught between excitement and nostalgia, and then I curl up in a ball of jittery indecision which soon becomes a mushroom cloud of “SCREW IT JUST TAKE MY MONEY.” And let’s be honest here, it’s not like I’m going to finish this thing anytime in the next year. Thus the terrification; I want so badly to finish this legacy but I also know these games will probably be obsolete before I can manage that. So what do? :/

I guess I should be glad this is the biggest stresser in my life right now. 😛

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2.6 Lancelot the Brave

This is coming to you from a retirement village where I am currently hijacking the wi-fi of an unsuspecting elderly couple. Never have I been so proud of myself.

Before I start this update, I thought I’d share some of my adventures in the Land of Distraction. For starters, I had promised myself that I could start building the new legacy house after Chapter Five. The current one, with its artsy glass corridors and towers, was having a lot of routing problems and anyway, it’s just ugly. So I told myself: “Let’s make a nice, simple family home that won’t lag my game or generate foot-tapping vortexes to entrap my sims forever.” With that in mind, I opened up 15 Summer Hill Court in another save file…

…and built a house so elaborate and expensive that it blew the Langurd budget by more than $100,000.

I have a problem.

Anyway, I don’t want to unveil it just yet (too much awesomeness for one chapter, I fear) but I did let my simself take an abbreviated tour, so here are some snippets of that:

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Far Inferior Version of Myself: THERE’S A CANNON. WHY IS THERE A CANNON?

In case Gurbin comes back, obviously. But never mind that! Step inside the newest Casa de Langurd, featuring…

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2.5 The Night is Dark and Full of Terrors

Sick of me bombarding you with updates? TOO BAD, HERE’S ANOTHER ONE.

I should get an award for this kind of hardcore hermit lifestyle dedication.

Last chapter, proactivity was the name of the game (if it were actually a word, that is). The rest of our spares moved out (and into the home of a happily married couple) and Razabella (lousiest ship name ever?) tied the knot. Then, Ara went into fierce combat with childbirth and popped out the first kid of Generation Three.

Can we keep up the momentum? Read on and find out.

Let’s kick things off with inspiring screenshot, courtesy of Grey Wind:

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In the Langurd household, one can find peace in the most unexpected of places.

Tewl: Who dun dis?

Grey Wind: It was I, Master.

Tewl: …Good boy.

The woes of having a front porch: the pet gets praised for “peeing outside” but we still have to mop it up. –.-

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2.4 Romeo’s Quest

Hey, people! So I’m super stoked right now because I earned $20 digging up dead saplings for my mom and I’m using it as an excuse to go by Supernatural. I know, I know — I’m pathetically behind on expansions. It’s because I have this nasty habit of throwing money out the door, and I’ve been trying to kick that habit in the last year or so. That means no “unnecessary purchases” allowed. Apparently these things fall into that category, which is dumb. I want houseboats and skating rinks and university. 😦

(I’m 20, guys. I know sometimes it sounds as if I’m 12.)

Anyway, my morals are waging war on each other because I’m so tempted to just give in and buy the four EPs I’m missing, but it’s a lot of money to spend all at once, especially since I recently quit my part-time job. Which ones are worth it if I just want to spice up my game? If anybody has advice, feel free to lend it!

Also feel free to lend me $25, because I just made the mistake of finding this gem online:

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Goddammit, why am I not a millionaire?

Right. Back to business.

When we last saw these guys, the last of the kids aged up into young adults and I sent them on a celebratory “last hurrah” vacation to China. Razor discovered the martial arts, Keg whined like a broken dishwasher to Billy Ray Cyrus, and Rotter found Gorgeous Foreign Woman 2.0 after a severe head trauma. Upon their return, a catastrophic succession of “accuse of cheating”s left everyone’s love life in a mess. Let’s see how they’re faring today.

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2.3 The Last Hurrah

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It was early afternoon. Rotter had gone for a ride across town with his loyal mare, Bertha. Exhausted and saturated with their typical odour of household refuse, they made for the nearest watery oasis. As they crested the hill, Rotter heard the most enchanting melody wafting toward them from under the trees.

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2.2 Revenge of the Vaccinator

Greetings! It’s a pleasure to have you back, and I’m sure you have so missed the company of Tewl and the gang during the past week or so. Ha-ha-ha hilarious, right? (Please don’t leave me alone with them again.)

In recent news, I let this site’s one-year anniversary slip by like a boss. Yeah. It was on July 15th, and I did absolutely zip to celebrate, commemorate, or even acknowledge it. I guess I was too busy celebrating more important birthdays like, uh, Harry Potter’s. I would express some kind of dismay or whatever but I’m really not that sorry, especially looking at how little progress this thing has made in its year of existence.

In the last instalment, Tewl married Morgana! Exclamation mark because I still can’t quite believe it. But in spite of my initial doubts, we have a new and improved Tewl on our hands who has not so much as looked at another woman. I know, right? It’s almost too good to be true…

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Tewl: Dere seems to be a invisible magnit dat draws us to—

Aww hell no! Didn’t you learn your lesson the last eighty times you cheated on somebody?

Tewl: C’mon man, she so blonde and dopey!

Paparazzi Dope: And he’s just a real flatterer!

As much as you two are made for each other, I do not approve of this development.

Tewl: What Morgana dun know ain’t hurt ‘er, yo.

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