3.2 Gung Ho

gung ho [guhng-hoh] – adj.: extremely enthusiastic and enterprising, sometimes to excess. Adopted by US marines from Chinese Pidgin English.

This is my life lately. Why, only today I am “enterprising” to sew a dress, clean my room, do laundry, write four French assignments, and caption these 100-odd screenshots.

Not only that, but this chapter is so ambitious that the only other apt title would be “Five Birthdays, Three Life-Threatening Experiences, Two Destinies Fulfilled, Two Graduations, Two Kind-of Deaths, a Birth, a Party, an Abandonment, and a Wedding.”

Having read that description, you can probably just skip the chapter. But please don’t. I put my blood and tears into these things.

Screenshot-1849

We begin with a father-daughter trip to China, undertaken by each party with a heavy heart.

Razor: O great spirit of Sim-Fu, grant me the strength to defeat the Abitar without glitching into oblivion.

Katana: Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou— Just kidding, I’m only upset about being outside.

Screenshot-1852

She quickly found a solution to that. Every time she gets in the car, it counts as “going inside” and she gets like 400 happiness points. Cool beans.

Katana: BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER.

abiyatsen

While Katana went on a thousand run-around errands (thanks to a bug with the adventure board) trying to boost her Chinese Visa, there was only one reason for Razor’s trip.

Screenshot-1856

Razor: We meet again, Abitar.

Abi: Ah, young Mantis. I see you have… matured.

Razor: Yeah, yeah. Let’s try not to break any hips, shall we?

Abi: I make no guarantees.

Screenshot-1860

Razor: This is picturesque. Shall we begin?

Abi: As you wish.

And so they sparred. I thought about making another GIF, but instead I put my Windows Movie Maker skillz to the test and churned out this masterpiece of videographic documentation. Please watch it with sound ‘cause I’ll be sad if you don’t.

So there’s a time limit on in-game recording? LOL, news to me.

Screenshot-1864

With the match over, the Abitar conceded her title and retreated peacefully into the hills, never to be heard from again.

grandmaster

And Razor got his LTW! Heck yeah, victory!

Screenshot-1865

He celebrated by eating a perfect potato out of his inventory.

Razor: MY PRIZE PRODUCE OMNOM

Damn, it took like two weeks to grow that. 😦

Screenshot-1880

Then he had a half-finished adventure to do, so I focused on that rather than our current heiress, who was only getting stuff like “catch some bugs” and “go find me mercury lol I’m lazy.”

Razor: I believe I have entered the Department of Mysteries.

Screenshot-1892

Razor: I believe I am on fire.

This was my first time with fire traps, so I had a minor freak-out. Luckily Razor was calm and collected.

Screenshot-1895

Razor: Would you look at that, I’m on fire again.

My bad.

Screenshot-1894

Razor: Okay, seriously, are you brain dead?

Screenshot-1896

Evidently, ‘cause it took me this long to realize there was something up with that floor. IT DOESN’T LOOK THE SAME UP CLOSE, OKAY?

Screenshot-1900

However, my stupidity did not kill him, and he emerged fiercer than ever.

Razor: Through flame, sword, and fist, the Great Mantis conquers all.

Now try standing up, ya old bag of bones.

Razor: I’m quite happy right here, thanks.

Screenshot-1905

He and Katana reconvened and had just enough time to discuss their adventures before heading home.

Razor: So, Katana, what did you get up to while I was busy winning China and life in general?

Katana: Oh, loads of cool stuff. Hauled rocks, picked up beetles… I repaired the emperor’s tomb so many times that I’m best friends with the mission dude. I love China.

Screenshot-1906

Back at home — You know you’re Mommy’s least favourite when you’re relegated to the same room as Larka. Poor Azula.

Screenshot-1917

But more and more, it’s seeming like Ara just hates ALL her kids.

Ara: Ugh, what is that obnoxious noise? Stay here and deal with it while I attend your delinquent sister’s graduation ceremony. And do something about that torn-up couch!

Lance: *despair*

Yes, somebody started another waffle fire. I’m thinking about deleting the fridge.

Screenshot-1914

Tommy: Are we forgetting someone?

Katana: Who, Lancelot? Lol no, we’re going without her.

Indeed, when Lance tried to attend her own sister’s graduation…

katanatroll

Payback’s a bitch.

Screenshot-1921

So she was left to put out the flames in her pretty pink prom queen dress.

Lance: Stupid Katana. She’d better be enjoying her graduation.

Um…

Screenshot-1939

Katana: What a snoozefest. Can I go to Egypt now?

katanapass

She should be smiling seeing as she barely snuck by with her straight-D report card.

Good luck funding your travels with that McDonald’s job!

Screenshot-1928

Also graduating was Starr, Prom Date from Hell. She had recently shacked up with some dude and Tommy took this opportunity to mend their bridges.

Tommy: Whaddya say, a little nostalgia pic before we go our separate ways?

Starr: Yeah, what the hell.

Screenshot-1929

Tommy: Smoochies!

Starr: Ab grope!

Uh, EA? There’s something wrong here.

Screenshot-1932

Tommy: I just Snapchatted your husband. Have fun with single motherhood, loser!

Little did he know, the “baby” was nothing but a few sacks of rice.

Starr: Duped again, pretty boy.

Screenshot-1933

Coincidentally, Ara treats her real baby like a few sacks of rice.

Azula: But I don’t want to get all wet! I am the fire princess!

Screenshot-1979

What do you know? Apparently, all this time, Katana’s been harbouring the ability to PREVENT WAFFLE FIRES. All hail the saviour.

Screenshot-1943

Soon enough we had our first full moon, and all sorts of uncanny things happened. Uncanny things like Arabella getting old.

Ara: Old? I do not get old; I simply level up.

Screenshot-1945

Ara: See? A walk in the park.

And she’s still adorable. I may sell her to a facility for anti-aging research.

Ara: Careful, for along with my beauty I maintain the strength to double-wield these cutlasses.

Screenshot-1947

The full moon was also the perfect time for Katana to fulfill some of her more… nefarious wishes.

Katana: Aww yeah… Time to party with the ghosts.

Orangey: Raise the roof, man.

Screenshot-1949

Razor also decided to visit his old haunt. But he couldn’t get off babysitting duty, so he pulled a Tewl and brought his charge along with him.

Razor: Isn’t this neat, Azula?

Azula: No, it’s dark and clammy and I want my beauty sleep!

Screenshot-1950

Naturally, Katana had a few things to say about that.

Katana: How dare you follow me? And why the fuck would you bring a baby to a graveyard?

Those are the words I imagined coming out of her mouth. However, she was actually doing this…

raazordiva

Razor Langurd: Divalicious Child Endangerer. What has this legacy become?

Screenshot-1951

Seeing as we’re poor and saving up for a mansion, Tommy has had to keep practising at the community alchemy station.

Tommy: The power of three will set us free… The power of three will set us free…

Screenshot-1952

“Power of three” indeed, ‘cause Officer Stoneyface just scored a Langurd hat trick.

Tommy: So you want me to get in your car?

Officer: Yep.

Tommy: And just… sit there?

Officer: Yep.

Tommy: While you stand out here?

Officer: Yep.

Tommy: Well alright then.

Screenshot-1953

Tommy: *U-Turn*

She’ll never learn.

Screenshot-1966

Next day, Azula got toddlery. Figures she would have the recessive genes when she missed the heir poll, and when her namesake is emphatically NOT a blonde. Still, I gave her Daddy’s old ‘do and some Fire Nation duds, so we’re good to go.

Azula: But I don’t wanna be a lightning-throwing maniac!

Too bad, kid.

Screenshot-1954

The ghosts are still overstaying their welcome and hogging the karaoke machine.

Morgana: ♩ It was an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini that she wore for the first time today

Tuesday: I LOVE that song!

Well, there goes your credibility as a feminist.

Screenshot-1972

It was on Tommy and Lance to one-up them with something more recent.

Tommy: ♩ Tried to domesticate you, but you’re an animal… Uh, something something, I know you want it… What rhymes with hug me?

Lance: Ladies and gentlemen, the next Grammy winner!

Screenshot-1974

Even Azula participated. Boy am I proud of this family.

Lance: ♫ ‘Cause you’re a gooood girl ♪ Aren’t you, Zula?

Tomahawk: Man, this is wrong. Stop captioning now.

K.

Screenshot-1986

To the park, then! Where Razor’s brother is consorting with the mother of my breeding experiment, whose children Katana will possibly have (?).

Creepy Bystander: Get married, why don’t you.

They did. Thus began the transformation of family tree into family spider web.

Screenshot-2000

I may be a little too intrusive in these matters at times.

Simself: Oh, don’t mind me. Just carry on like I’m not here.

Screenshot-2001

Weston: Do you really want me to marry that monster?

Sim Sam: Uh, yep. You got a problem with that?

Which, strangely, reminds me of this…

Twilight Cast Reaction

Except don’t ever compare me to Stephenie Meyer. I will eat you if you do.

Screenshot-2004

What’s this? A smoking karaoke machine? SABOTAGE?!

Lance: I…  I don’t really want to be a singer.

Screenshot-2015

Katana: And I don’t want to be a repairwoman. So long, screwdriver!

Stop trolling.

Screenshot-2010

Tewl: So son, dis is what yew dun wif yer life, huh? Sprouted a bunch a leafy-greens an’ ya can’t even keep ‘em alive? Weak.

Yeah, Razor. Gosh. Just look at all of HIS fine accomplishments…

Screenshot-2012

Katana: Hey Dad, I found Grandpa Tewl’s secret sex tape.

Razor: HURRRK

Screenshot-2013

Razor: Please never show me anything like that again.

Katana: What, don’t you have any respect for our forefathers?

Screenshot-2019

I’m sick of captioning this birthday shit. Just get on with it, man.

Screenshot-2027

Take it back, take it back! Ctrl+Z!!! Ctrl+Z!!!!!

Screenshot-2030

Ah, that’s better. He rolled Night Owl. Or something.

Screenshot-2032

Tommy: Something smells like mouldy flannel.

Jergens: That’sssss me!

NO. GET OUT.

annihilate jergens

*vigorous nod*

Screenshot-2023

Arabella: Dearest Myra, we have both become silver-haired sages. Surely this masterful evasion has exhausted you; please do me the honour of GETTING IN THE DAMN SIDEBAR ALREADY.

Those are Arabella’s words for sure. No anger channelling here.

Screenshot-2024

Myra: Well, if you put it that way…

I jumped for joy.

Screenshot-2025

And then Arabella put a halter on the great, untameable spirit of Sunset Valley.

hqdefault
05kong3_lg
kuhkjh

Well, that escalated quickly.

Screenshot-2034

Except we went a few steps further. We dyed her mane and renamed her Rarity… because ponies are da shiz and I couldn’t resist.

deal_with_it____rarity_style_by_j_brony-d4ewawo

Screenshot-2042

And then we took her to a… special facility.

Arabella: Come along, Rarity. There’s a clueless stallion named Charm ready to make your acquaintance.

Gnomes: Good luck, kid. We know all about questionable reproduction methods.

Rarity: Repro…duction?

Screenshot-2045

Speaking of special facilities.

Nymeria: This town ain’t big enuff fer the both of us, foo’!

Larka: No fair, I was here first!

Screenshot-2066

Razor: Yeah… I’m gonna need you to come and do a little pest control.

Screenshot-2077

Lord of the Beekeepers: Don’t worry, Mr. Langurd, she’s in safe hands now.

Larka: You guys are bullies.

Do I feel bad? A little, almost. But she was an infuriating creature.

Screenshot-2078

Just like Scarlet, the new unicorn in town. Who spawned in the most OBVIOUS location the night after we adopted Myra/Rarity.

Scarlet: Don’tcha wish it was this easy before? Eh?

*swallows the urge to adopt her and name her Twilight Sparkles*

Screenshot-2052

Lance: Whoop-dee-do, another graduation.

Tommy: At least you got to come to this one. And Katana, you don’t have to sneak around with the baby. Mom and Dad know you brought her here.

Katana: Shut it, pansy ass.

Screenshot-2054

Actually, I doubt Arabella knew anything about anything that day, since she was so busy being the image of queenliness and propriety.

Screenshot-2069

Later, Lance went on a man hunt. Be very scared.

Adrian: You’re hot.

Lance: I know. But story progression says that’s your girlfriend.

adriansinglenowwhat

Adrian: Screw story progression. I’m yours, babe.

Screenshot-2079

Lance: Alright, if you say so!

Screenshot-2082

Adrian: Why would you do that? My girlfriend was standing right there, moron!

Lance: Da fuq?

Such is Lancelot’s luck in romance.

Screenshot-2085

Nymeria: Look at me, ain’t I schmexy?

No actually, your head is a lot smaller than I expected it to be. Go back to being a puppy, plz.

Nymeria: I see now why they warn us animals about this place.

Who’s warning?? Is it that bloody wildlife gnome gone rogue ‘cause I swear I will—

Screenshot-2090

Oh look, Fall Festival time!

FYI, still learning the ropes of these EP’s. Excuse my overenthusiasm.

Screenshot-2096

Katana: Blargghhhh I’m a ghost! A never nude ghost!

That’s not even one of your traits. Why do you troll me so 😦

Screenshot-2098

Katana: Oh, this is a great idea. Bobbing for apples while incorporeal is a sure-fire road to success.

Ara: Poo. No honour in winning while the enemy is handicapped.

Screenshot-2101

Meanwhile at the confectionary stand…

Singey McSingeykins: Aww man, I just wanted some cotton candy.

Screenshot-2102

Winner: I’m the only one gets ta operate this casher-thingamajig, ya hear?

Pudgy Creamsicle here is my simself’s boyfriend. Boy, I sure know how to pick ‘em.

Singey: I dunno, he seems romantic and chivalrous to me.

Screenshot-2111

And now for some Spooky Day shenanigans.

Lance: Why would they have a pool by their front door? Surely they don’t want visitors to fall in and drown!

Randy & Susie: I hope she falls in and drowns.

Screenshot-2112

Lance: Trick or treat!

Randy: Just a light push oughtta do it…

Screenshot-2119

And she emerged from the icy waters hours later, Frozen, shall I say, to the core.

Lance: Don’t let them in, don’t let them see…

Screenshot-2122

Paparazzi Doorknob: Halloween sucks!

Evil Gnome: Or maybe… maybe it’s you who sucks! Muahahaha!

Screenshot-2124

Evil Gnome: Oof.

Screenshot-2131

Arabella: The last of the spawn is metamorphosing! In ten seconds I shall be child-free!

Um, what about Azula?

Ara: Who?

Screenshot-2134

Lance: WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS LUSCIOUS LOCKS?

Screenshot-2136

Lance: Oh, there they are.

Praise the heavens. Some women should never attempt short hair.

Screenshot-2139

Haha, child free my ass. Seems like something is being born around here every five seconds. How dare you, Rarity? I wanted unicorn spawn. 😦

Rarity: Don’t be racist.

I guess if we’re still rolling with the Dumbo parallels…

Dumbo-disneyscreencaps_com-1025

Dawww, she loves him even though he’s a deformed alcoholic. Dammit, I’m making myself sad. Is it weird that baby elephants choke me up?

(I called the foal Boomerang, which eight-year-old me thought was the ULTIMATE horse name. Like, seriously.)

Screenshot-2142

Um, Arabella? I think you’re supposed to clean the guts out before you start carving.

Ara: No, it’s much less messy this way. Trust me, I know from… well, never mind that.

:/

So we decided to throw a feast party. Five seconds after the invitations went out, we got this from Dax, one of the invitees:

dax steals our party

That’s what you heard, is it? Well. Our party is gonna kick yours in the face is what I heard.

Screenshot-2157

Ripper: This party is so bad, I might puke.

It kinda was. Naturally, my simself went straight for the food…

Screenshot-2163

…and then promptly left.

Boomerang: Hey controller lady, maybe you ought to pay more attention to me and my Mom before our social bars die of neglect.

Sim Sam: No.

Boomerang: Okay, your call.

Screenshot-2155

And yet, despite the fact that he was supposed to be hosting one elsewhere, Dax actually turned up to our party. In costume. I think he was confused.

Dax: Wow, Lance is hot!

(Yep, definitely confused.)

Adrian: Dangit, that one’s my catch!

Trent: Do you or do you not have a girlfriend?

Adrian: I don’t knowwwww!!

Screenshot-2162

Sucks to be Dax, ‘cause right at that second I closed the heir poll and Katana won. I’m partial to his face, so I made her go schmooze. Too bad he was surrounded by his fan club.

Adrian: Aww man, why are you so cool?

Trent: Can you make me a costume like yours? Exactly like yours?

Katana: Enough! Let the heiress talk to her potential mate!

Screenshot-2172

Fortunately they became Lance’s peanut gallery instead.

Trent: Wow man, that’s her uncle?

Adrian: Yeah, this family is a basket case. Dat ass doe.

Screenshot-2168

Arabella: Repeat after me, my lioness. Crouch, poise, and attack!

Trent: Is that your Mom?? You must be so embarrassed!

Lance: Meh.

Screenshot-2164

Here is a picture of Azula, because this chapter is already a gazillion lightyears long and hey why don’t I waste some more of your time while I’m at it.

Screenshot-2170

What’s this? Are those sparkly hearts I see?

Katana: Maybe.

Are you guys in loooooove? 😀

Dax: That’s a strong word…

Are you gonna make me legacy babies??? 😀 😀 😀

Katana: Gee, thanks for making this NOT AWKWARD AT ALL.

Screenshot-2169

Dax: Thanks for coming to my costume party, Katana. I’m having a really great time.

Katana: I’m so confused.

Screenshot-2173

With a crowd like this, I’m surprised he had such a good time.

Star: Mmm, what a yummy-looking Tiger Man.

Keg: Yummy? Dang fool’s blockin’ my way to the buffet!

Screenshot-2175

Arabella: In your face, Dax French! This place is positively hopping!

Cleopatra: You know everyone went home, right?

missed you at the party

Um, actually, I think you missed YOU at the party.

Screenshot-2185

Katana: Whoa, who the hell is that kid?

Lance: Beats me.

Screenshot-2193

Next in line for Neglectee of the Year…

Rarity: You may be the squib of unicorn babies, but Momma still loves you. Even if no one else does.

Boomerang: Yeah no kidding. When was the last time someone fed us? I don’t think I even know who we live with.

Screenshot-2199

Of course I had to test drive University Life. You know, because this legacy needs to be EVEN LONGER.

Katana: Ah, the great escape. No one will suspect I’m gone.

Razor: Bye, Katana!

Screenshot-2200

Razor: And take these brats with you!

Tommy: Crap, do I gotta go to university? I wanted to go to Hogwarts.

Lance: What’s Hogwarts?

Tommy: Pffft, Muggle.

Screenshot-2201

Razor: Come on, Ara. Can’t you at least pretend to give them well wishes?

Ara: Would that I were capable of such sentimental rubbish.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Argh, finally! I definitely did not finish this when I intended to. At the outset, I was a naive start-of-the-semester student with aspirations and free time. Now I am defeated and procrastinating, cowering in Windows Live Writer to avoid writing a research paper on medieval medicine, with bruised ribs and six stitches in my chin because I ate shit on rollerblades (also while procrastinating). Not so Gung-Ho anymore, are we? Hehe. Heh. *curls up and twitches*

I still really wanna finish this legacy, so I hope some of you guys are still around. Is there anyone alive out there?? Can anyone hear me??? *echoes* Well, anyway. Comments are appreciated. The next chapter will be more prompt and a crapload shorter. 😀

Happy Simming!

-Sam

Advertisements

About gryffindork7

I like cats. This is a really thorough bio.

Posted on April 16, 2014, in Generashun 3 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. I’m here! I’m alive! lol. And if I remember correctly, all of Katana’s spawn are going to be named after The Last Airbender characters, right? RIGHT?! 😀

    Like

  2. This was a very successful chapter. Look what you got accomplished. Ltw’s, all these adults.

    Anyway I had totally forgotten about Azula…

    Can’t wait to see what they’re gonna do in uni.

    Like

    • I know, and it only took me like four months to do it! 😛 Azula’s own mother often forgets about Azula, so don’t worry. And thanks, I’m really excited to caption the next chapters! I’m glad you’re still around to read. 😀

      Like

  3. SO MUCH FUN to be had! From the SimFu to eating your perfect potato, to rocking that unicorn and making me giggle about six dozen times, I had an amazingly laughtastic time reading all the stuff! I hope your wounds are healing, and your paper on medieval medicine was a raging success! Far apart updates are better than no updates, so I will definitely be delighted if you finish! The Tewl sighting was also lovely, by the way. Do keep at it, will you? You make the internet a better place. ❤

    Like

    • Thank you so, so much! Your comment gave me a giant wave of resolve and I just blasted through the next chapter (it’ll be up soon!). My stitches come out on Tuesday and I think the paper turned out nicely *touch wood* so everything is looking good, and I’m definitely hoping to finish this legacy. Ideally before I reach my 80th birthday. 😉

      Like

  4. I’m here, but I’m in the same Legacy-Is-Progressing-At-A-Crawl-Because-Of-School-And-Life-Things boat as you. (I am currently avoiding dealing with marking final exams, dumb student drama, and my thesis by reading and commenting. PROCRASTINATION!) This chapter was fantastic, and many, many lols were had! The Abitar video was amazing, even if it cut out before the end. Katana seems like she’ll be a wonderful heiress, and I look forward to university fail whenever it should happen. Keep updating the legacy, even if you are slow to update, and it will be wonderful!

    Like

    • Yay, so good to see you here again! 🙂 I can’t even imagine having grad student duties (and a thesis, gosh) on top of everything else, so I 1000% understand if your updates are slow. Gives me more time to catch up, since I’m such a slow reader. Procrastination ftw! (Especially life-and-limb-endangering procrastination that lands you in the ER and gets you a 24-hour extension… haha) Thanks for commenting, and I wish you luck with all your School-and-Life-Things!

      Like

  5. LOLs, I love using that “do not age, I level up” line! Go Ara, she barely changed at all.

    Awesome Charmed reference FTW!

    You know what’s *really* sad? I recognise that house Lance Trick or Treated at. From the two screenshots. That was the house my first ever TS3 family moved into as soon as they could afford it. It is a great house.

    Also, where did you get Ara’s crown? that’s awesome! I kind of want to have a princess sim now.

    Like

    • You get all my dumb references. You’re my favourite.

      Hahaha, that’s great! The first thing I thought when she got there was “man, I should play a family in this house.” But I’ve never played the pre-made houses much because I have delusions of being a good builder.

      I wish I knew! Almost all of my accessories are accidental downloads. It’s a mess. If I figure it out, I’ll let you know!

      Like

      • Yeah, I don’t play premade houses much; usually because I always want to change stuff they’ve done, and by the time I’m done changing and redecorating, I may as well have built a new house myself.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: