4.18 To Infinity and Beyond

This is it! THE LAST MELON— er, chapter of the generation. In 73 short screenshots, we will finally be moving on. As if the universe couldn’t stand for that to happen, I slammed my left hand in a car door yesterday. Soooo we’re gonna find out how funny I can be while typing one-handed.

Spoiler alert: Not very.

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We’ll begin with Motherless Mandrake a.k.a. Mediocre Mandrake a.k.a. Lettuce Loins Langurd. Despite all the unfortunate titles, he has a new flirt.

Mandrake: What am I wearing right now? Well, it’s hard to explain.

The lucky guy is Rickey Lynne-Hudson, born of simself incest. He was dating my own simself’s son for a while, but little Andrew got his ass dumped. That’s my boy!

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What’s new in Gumby’s love life? Trick question, he doesn’t have one. Pokey is the only girl for him, and at this point they’re pretty much bonded for life.

Gumby: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Pokey: I think I am…

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Pokey: Catching raindrops?

Gumby: What else?

I worry about the composition of any “raindrops” Gumby catches from where he’s standing.

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Among the most coveted family heirlooms one can receive as a Langurd is Katana’s “forever sneaking” curse. Gumby’s got it in full force — he was briefly grounded after the non-party, but the crawl of the velociraptor inchworm has held on well into his YA days.

Gumby: I just stole this umbrella. From a homeless person.

I don’t care if you pulled it out of a dumpster, you still got ripped off.

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Lira’s second bot is coming along nicely. Hey, who’s that man on the corkboard?

Lira: That’s my master, Shirley Pimpleton.

Uh, what?

Lira: Yes, he’s the toymaker who created me.

Well, there’s a story I’m sure we’d all like to hear.

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I love how the most graphically detailed thing in a 30GB life simulator is the water my family’s horse drinks.

Pokey: What are you trying to say, huh?

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Maybe I don’t have enough appreciation for pets in this game. I mean, they’re helping keep stinky old Boa happy.

Boa: I liiiiiike cats.

No siree, he doesn’t look awkward at all.

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Congrats, Gumbykins! Finally living up to your Evil trait!

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Gumby: I just can’t deal with these expectations!

And there it goes again.

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It’s a rough world out there. Manny’s miming business is so slow, he’s been forced to beg on the streets.

Manny: I’m not begging, I’m busking!

If that’s what you want to think.

Dog: Wish I had some tomatoes to throw. Or some thumbs to throw them with.

The guy practically lives at Performance Park these days, and if I don’t keep an eye on him, the miming stops and the guitar comes out. Someone’s gonna regret gifting him that thing.

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I got him back on track though, and had him audition for a gig in his real “field.”

Mandrake: THE SKY IS FALLING!

Proprietor: Son, I don’t know what that was, but you got the stage Wednesday night.

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Apparently that was enough work for one day. Oh well, at least he has one fan!

Nadia: Hey, Manny! Great playing as always!

Mandrake: I’m sorry… Who are you?

This is Nadia Cho-Poirot. She only watches him play EVERY SINGLE DAY.

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I guess you could say he has two fans — he also befriended Rickey while playing guitar.

For the record, I tried to fix his face, but it caused my game to crash. Get’cha later, bro.

Rickey: It’s fine, I don’t mind having four lips.

rickeygenderpref

I figured as much.

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Somebody else isn’t so perceptive though.

Nadia: Aww, you guys are such good friends!

Tell that to the “mandrake seeds” Manny just gave him as a gift. *snicker* I’m awful, I know.

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Rickey: Does this Nadia girl have a crush on you?

Mandrake: Who?

Nadia: Gee, I sure am lonely eating this picnic ALL ALONE.

Mandrake: Seriously, who?

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Psychically bonded or no, Gumby and Pokey do have their lovers’ spats.

Gumby: But Pokey, I want to go to the jungle!

Pokey: Too bad, bitch. I want my hoofs cleaned and a pina colada.

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A round of applause for Werewolf Lira, who constructed an entire simbot while in canine form. What was dog-heckler just saying about thumbs?

Lira: I dub thee… Polly Pocket!

Polly: Oh my, what a beautiful home you have!

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Polly: NOT. I’m outta here, mofos. *kick*

theactual
gottagobye

????????????????????????????

I swear, if this shit keeps happening…

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Gumby: Not so fast, fugitive! You’re coming with me.

Polly: Make me.

Gumby: MasterController, I choose you!

Polly: Well shit.

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As punishment for her escape attempt, Polly Pocket is now on house arrest. Forever. She came with the Neat trait (also Brave, Photographer’s Eye, Hydrophobic, and Frugal) which makes her our new maid. Forever.

Polly: You can’t be new forever.

That’s right. Have fun RUSTING in all that soapy water.

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Gumby and Pokey have been training hard for their first jumping competition. Will their work pay off?

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Jeez. Stop being so successful, you dorks.

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But it’s okay — Skydancer is always here to make everyone else look bad.

Skydancer: I learned allllll my toddler skills. I’ll take one “Genius” please.

Boa: Lira, did I ever tell you your daughter is the greatest?

Polly: Fuck this house I don’t wanna be here omg

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Well yep, she got Genius. On the other hand…

Lira: You remind me of someone.

Skydancer: You think?

Lira: Oh yes, you’re a dead ringer for my old friend Carlos.

…she may be smarter than Mama Bear, but they still have the same face.

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Back at performance park, Manny and Rickey went on an official date and Nadia was still third-wheeling it hard.

Nadia: Omg, I’m playing Manny’s guitar! We are just that close hehehe.

Rickey: You let her play your guitar?

Mandrake: What guitar? I don’t have a guitar, I am a mime!

Rickey: You fucking weirdo.

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What a beautiful family dinner! A fairy, an alien, a simbot and a werewolf—and their guest of honour, a rotten salad.

Buzz: What’s for dinner, gang? Feels like we should be feasting on human flesh.

Skydancer: That’s evil!

Buzz: Now Skydancer, we don’t use that word in vain around here. Apologize to your mother and brother.

There’s just no being politically correct with this bunch.

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Buzz: Isn’t our little family just the cutest thing?

Lira: Haarrrrrrgh.

Buzz: This is why I love you.

lolwutnowbuzz

Yes, Buzz is quite a fan of being a family man. Sadly, he never got to fulfill his dream of short-circuiting in the shallows while his horrified two-year-old looked on.

Honestly, Buzz. What are you thinking?

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At least Skydancer knows her father. Not everyone around here can say the same.

Gumby: I’m such a tortured soul.

I imagine he probably works out to “Demons” by Imagine Dragons. You need to bump up your BPM, kid!

Gumby: Don’t tell me what to do!

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Exe: Greetings. I have returned to inform you that Teqeq and I are officially back together. You won’t be hearing from us again.

Oh, thank the lord.

Exe: Exe exit!

Bravo.

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Not like Lira needs a flaky cowboy alien when she’s so deeply in love with her metal spaceman.

Buzz: To infinity and beyond, baby!

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Buzz: Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Buzz Lightyear of Star Command.

Polly: How can you… be with our creator like that? It’s sick!

Buzz: Well, I can explain the mechanics to you if you want.

Polly: Ugh, get the hell away from me!

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Razor: Who is responsible for this tragic sham of a garden? They should be ashamed of themselves.

Buzz: On it, Mr. Langurd.

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Buzz is a pretty swell guy to have around. He’s even willing to brave the sprinklers to make sure the life fruit is growing. Little does he know, he’s helping Lira create — dun dun dun… Another male simbot!

Buzz: WHAT.

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Skydancer is right at home in Lev’s old room, which makes up for the fact that she’s not at home in this family. Not one bit.

Skydancer: I want to be a a chess champion!

Aim lower.

Skydancer: I want to be a doctor?

LOWER.

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Atta boy, Mandrake! There are always new lows to be reached in the realms of human dignity!

Polly: M…Master Langurd, what are you doing?

Little flustered there, Polly?

Polly: Absolutely not! *gulp*

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Know what’s funny? Mandrake goes by Lettuce Loins… and he’s eating a salad, which means—

Mandrake: Hey Polly, guess what? I’m eating my crotch!

Polly: *sputter* *choke* I beg your pardon!

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It was a sad day for the forest folk when Lt. Surge’s time on earth came to an end.

Grim: Your time on earth has come to an end.

Lt. Surge: Oh, blessed be!

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Lt. Surge: I HAVE GAINED THE POWERS OF LEVITATION AT LAST.

We’ll miss you, Surge, ya little womanizing scoundrel.

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I’m starting to question the “Good” in Skydancer’s trait panel. She brought a friend home from school, then stood by and let her die.

Skydancer: She just wants to copy my homework.

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Hmm, you should probably let her. I think she’s your second cousin.

Skydancer: We’re barely related.

DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN MARRY HER, OKAY?

Skydancer: Gosh, who said anything about marriage?

We don’t joke about these things after Gumby and Nina.

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Wednesday night rolled around and I was all set to send Manny to his gig. But then he made a supremely dumb decision.

Manny: I swear I can bike as fast as a car!

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He caught the last twenty minutes or so of his own performance. Did a few handstands, tugged an invisible rope, took a bow. Impressed absolutely no one.

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Skydancer: I wish I may, I wish I might, become a tiny ball of light…

I bought Skydancer a fairy house because she might as well go on living in the piano parlour and also omg, fairy house. Unfortunately, the recolour I did makes it look like it’s covered in bloodstains. Oh well. Let the neighbours talk, I say!

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Gumby can do cool things now.

Pokey: Hey now, this is all me.

Gumby: What are you talking about just look at this hand flourish

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Gumby: I just love flying around the track with you!

Pokey: I’m in it for the money to be honest.

They are definitely on the same page about everything.

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Four failed exercises in genetic combination, all in a row…

Bystander: The end is nigh.

This is why we never go out on the town.

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On the other hand, Skydancer went to some kid’s house after school and wound up talking to this guy. Well played, kid. You may have stumbled on future boyfriend material.

Skydancer: I told you I was a genius.

There is the small issue of the black hair I JUST eradicated from her genome…

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A picture for creepiness’ sake and very little else.

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Polly: This place is trash. This family is trash. I hate living here.

Skydancer: Have you thought about finding yourself a man, Polly?

Polly: No, I don’t need a mandrake— OMG NO! That’s not what I said!

Skydancer: Ooh la la.

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Skydancer Langurd — child prodigy, guardian angel and personal therapist.

Skydancer: Your secret’s safe with me… and the little baby deer I whisper to in my spare time.

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And don’t forget Gumby Langurd — er, roaster of mushrooms.

Gumby: Heh, wonder if this’ll be any good?

Apparently we learned nothing from Malissa’s death.

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Pokey: Are you stupid? You’re an athlete! What if they get you to pee in a cup?

Gumby: Relax, this is definitely an ordinary mushroom!

Pokey: I can’t believe I put up with you.

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Mandrake’s second show was even more riveting than the first. The audience was confused as to whether they were witnessing an incompetent performer or the birth of modern art.

mannysperformance

We’ll take that as a compliment.

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Lira’s human again? She must have found that last pink diamond! I’m really good at documenting things.

Buzz: I have a surprise for you, sweetie. I had a shard of pink diamond encrusted into this ring as a symbol of our love. Please, you can’t refuse me this time.

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Lira: How dare you take a piece out of my simbot’s future heart? We’ll talk about this later.

Buzz: I want to starve myself and die.

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You wouldn’t do that when there’s cake to be had! …Or, you know, on your daughter’s birthday.

Skydancer: Nine screenshots, eh? Not much of a childhood.

Yeah, I may have been a little impatient. But I waited for the pop-up, I swear!

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Little Miss Glinda the Good Witch here locked in Friendly for her fourth trait.

Skydancer: You’ve got a friend in me.

I think she might be the kind of person who only speaks in motivational proverbs.

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Skydancer: Pssst, Manny! Wake up and smell the coffee!

Mandrake: It isn’t coffee I’m smelling. It’s you.

Skydancer: Better out than in, I always said!

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Surprise! The process was too dull to take screenshots, but Boa has been working on this for a while.

Boa: I made friends with three cats.

Cashew: Congratulations, your prize is a unicorn.

Are we ready for this kind of responsibility again? I guess we’re about to find out.

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Hell yeeaaahhh. Cashew is now called Axorn, the most metal name in all the land. My friend and I devised it accidentally when we typo’d “acorn.”

Boa: My horsey!

Actually, not yours. You were but a dirty slave.

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Of course the horse is for Gumby and his horsey LTW.

Gumby: Pleased to meet you. I’m Gumby.

Axorn: MY BEARD IS WHITE.

Yeah, sorry man. Horse CAS is a tricky bitch.

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Pokey: What is this shit?

pokeywantstokickboa

Yeah, Boa, how dare you bring home a new horse? You’re gonna pay for that. XD

But don’t worry, Pokester. Nobody’s about to replace you…

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…in fact, maybe love will even blossom here someday? 😀

Axorn: I DON’T GROW LOVE. I ONLY GROW DEEEAAAATH.

In the interest of keeping our noble steeds around, it was necessary to cut back on neglect risks. So I did something truly awful.

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Bye-bye, Pudding!

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Bye-bye, Potato!

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Bye-bye, Whitney!

😥

This actually pains me way more than I can say. Dang felines got their claws around my heartstrings.

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Just one more thing to accomplish before the generation is over.

Lira: Look at me, Master Shirley! I’m about to become a master toymaker just like you!

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Uh, Lira? Do you feel… different… at all?

Lira: Shhhh, I’m working!

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Lira: Hey, sexy.

GI Joe: What is this life?

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Lira: Never mind, looks like I got THAT part right the first time.

GI Joe: ?

Buzz Lightyear, Polly Pocket, and GI Joe make up Lira’s household guard…

liraltw

…and this steel-plated son of a bitch right here!

With that, I would officially like to say…

GAME OVER.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Until we ring in the new heir.

Gimme an hour or so to get the poll up!

‘Til then, Happy Simming!

-Sam

About gryffindork7

I like cats. This is a really thorough bio.

Posted on July 21, 2015, in Generashun 4 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. Woot, Lira completed her LTW! Most definitely one of the hardest LTWs in the game; though I loved that you used the occults to complete it, fairy and werewolf Lira only adds to the awesome. And I freaking love that she didn’t even notice the elder birthday, just kept on plugging away at the thing that makes her life worthwhile. Because the kids totally don’t do anything for her.

    Dude, Gumby rides a unicorn now? That is brilliant. Love the name, too, sounds like something Tolkein would come up with. Ah, typos, the birth of many many brilliant things. Drunken ones make the best inside jokes; did you know ‘sbuk’ means ‘poke’?

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    • It did feel a bit cheaty, but hey, the rules weren’t technically broken. They just haven’t been updated to account for all the expansion packs. 😛 In any case, it’s not like it was even *that* easy in the end. I think Lira definitely considers her simbots her children more than anything (er, which totally explains why she mated with one of them…).

      Fangirling over the Tolkien comparison just a little. Maybe typos were the basis of all his linguistic invention? It was harder to correct your mistakes on typewriters, right? 😛 “Sbuk” made me lol… that’s fantastic.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t think it’s cheaty at all. What fun is a Pinstar Legacy if you’re locked out of all the cool fun expansion crap??

        Maybe Pinstar and ImaginingMystic should kick me out of the legacy club. I already don’t do the legacy household thing because I hate to build.

        Unicorn! I want to play one so bad. I tried to have Dylan adopt a horse, but it was too much to do. Better luck with Axor!

        I keep trying to find good face shots to compare Skydancer and Lira. Having different eyes does a lot for making a distinctive face. And otherwise she’s Lira’s literally angelic opposite clone. You have a pretty good schtick for her, considering she’s only existed for two posts. Did you pollinate Lira to produce her? I think that under their metal, simbots are probably face one, so it could have been worse.

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      • This is true. I don’t think I want to be a part of the Legacy Club if I can’t do things my own way. *breaks out into song*

        Comparing legacy stuff with you is reminding me that I REALLY have to get back to your Samples! I’ve been so focused on the writing part lately, I haven’t kept up with the reading at all. Which is good for this blog, but that makes me a pretty selfish simmer.

        I will have a CAS comparison for you as soon as she ages up again! You’re right – the eyes make a big difference. I have Woohooer installed, so I *think* I just used Try for Baby? But it’s been so long ago, maybe I’m forgetting things. And yikes, I should have been more careful… I figured they just didn’t have genes at all. But that would make sense, kind of like how IFs tend to be face one.

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      • Not to sing for my own supper, but now would be an awesome time to come read some Samples. I am posting like a comparative madwoman, trying to get to the end of damnable Generation 6. I love Dylan like my own son, but I am SO DONE and ready to start something new. Heir poll should be next week if I can keep this up. Four fabulous choices. I think I’m in a three-way tie for favorite.

        So, c’mon over, ya hear? You don’t want to miss out on this exciting, once-yearly event!

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      • Well guess what — I binge-read Generations 1-3 yesterday! I’m the kind of reader who likes to study up before jumping into the current generation, and I’m loving it even more than I expected to. Charles is a child where I’m at, so I’m reading eagerly to see if he lives up to the hype (I have no doubt that he will). At this rate, I should be caught up before the poll. 🙂

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  2. Ouch! I hope your hand is ok. It didn’t get you on the nails did it?

    So sad Skydancer is a face clone, but by gods she is really pretty! I’m really loving Gumby and Pokey for some reason. And the Unicorn- so awesome. Boa and Lira oddly have quite a few facial similarities as elders. Too funny.

    I really want a slave named polly pocket. Remember when Polly Pockets use to actually fit in your pocket? They were in those hard little snap cases that would have fabric patterns on them? I do. I think mine was yellow… I think… This generation is such a blast in the past.

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    • Thankfully no! I think I would have broken fingers with how hard I slammed it, but it got the lower part of my hand instead. Just badly bruised bones, I think.

      I’m bummed about Skydancer too. The thing is, all three of them are essentially clones this time around — even Gumby has all Lira’s features except eye colour and skin tone. Mandrake has all of Boa’s except eye colour and hair colour, and Sky is the same for Lira. So no matter what happens, we just aren’t winning with this bunch. 😛

      “I really want a slave named Polly Pocket.” <— You should say this to strangers on the street and see what they think of you. XD Hahaha, but seriously, I have fond memories of Polly Pockets. My last one lived in a tiny book-shaped case that came on a necklace. Only I could never get it to close properly, and I'd get frustrated and keep trying to smash her in there until her face was all covered in scratches. Fun times.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Noooooo, the cats D; And I’m so not ready to let Balboa and Lira go. I only need about 16 more chapters!

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    • I know, they’ve been a fun pair! Boa in particular is 90 days old in the game right now, and that scares me. On the bright side, he just married into DSLady’s legacy, so you can always get your fix of him there! And Lira… I dunno, here’s hoping she just lives for a stupidly long time.

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  4. I’ve finally reached the end of generation 4! I even went through the university chapters to remember where I left off last time.
    Liked the naming scheme, even though they’re not from my actual youth. I’m about 10 years older than you. It is a little sad that I know/remember all the toys, though. Except for Gumby, apparently we didn’t have that in the Netherlands. Or maybe I finally grew up…

    Lira was great, though. Werewolves are just unfortunate looking… And I also liked Balboa and Malisa. Sad that she died so soon. The kids are interesting, and you actually made all those Simbots. I never did that with my inventor king. But my queen from this generation loves her PlumBots…

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    • That was me, obviously… I haven’t been using wordpress for awhile… Even forgot how to log in apparently. Not to mention the autocorrect on my device that changes all my english words for dutch words. Like weerwolven…

      Like

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