Monthly Archives: August 2015

Going on a bear hunt!

I’ve never had to do one of these before because my updates have never been regular enough in the first place. :O

This is just to say that I’ll be away on a camping trip from now until Thursday, so there will be no posts either here or on Sim Salad! I wish I could take some writing with me, but if I’m sitting in my campsite with a laptop then I won’t be able to judge the pansies in their million-dollar RVs. It’s a hard life.

In the meantime, assuming you’ve been keeping up with Sim Salad, please enjoy this article that may just be Squonky’s handbook to life:

http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/articles/all-ways-water-can-kill-you?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=fbsmosh

Happy Simming!

-Sam

P.S. I will not be hunting bears. I will, in fact, be obsessively ridding myself of campfire odours before entering the tent so that the bears don’t hunt ME. You can never be too paranoid safe.

PSA: Sim Salad!

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So I started another blog!

This doesn’t mean The Dysfunkshinul Legacy is being discontinued or bumped down the priority list. Actually, I’ve had this other blog sitting empty for almost two years, and a few posts’ worth of screenshots waiting patiently to be captioned. It’s not a very demanding project, so I’ll still have plenty of time for my most important endeavour: the Langurds. (I really need a job. And a life.)

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5.4 Accidentally on Purpose

I’ve been having a crisis lately about writing believable characters. I know — this is The Sims, and no one expects it to be an actual simulation of life. However, my ambitions do involve someday writing for a living, and I like to think that this is helping me toward that goal in some way. Is it really very helpful if I keep writing caricature morons with no emotional drive? Can anyone actually relate to this family?

Then, I started watching Arrested Development while editing my screenshots. (Kind of relevant if you consider it’s where Gobias Koffi and the Never Nude trait were born.) Gob was putting on a magic show to The Final Countdown and I thought never mind, this stuff actually sells. The Bluths could be the Langurds’ role models. It’s not like we’ve reached that level of weird, right?

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Frieda: I will marry and outlive everyone until I inherit the entire earth! *thunderclap*

Okay, thanks for the reality check.

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5.3 Procrastinate Now

Ah, my philosophy of life! I’m afraid I’ve made the title scheme painfully obvious for this generation, but I can’t ALWAYS be cryptic. Or should I say… explicitly ambiguous? 😉

Last time, stuff happened! Oh, you want specifics? Erm… I wrote that post yesterday and already, all I remember is that a baby was born.

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Little Omen the alien genius! Behold the first green-on-green-on-green shot of him, and let it burn into your retinas because it will likely be the last.

Fun fact: I haven’t caught him with his eyes open yet. It’s because he’s secretly Brock from Pokémon.

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5.2 Trouble in Paradise

Another chapter so soon?! (You ask in distress.) I’m sorry. I should probably leave a courtesy buffer or something but sometimes the words just keep flowing, y’know?

Last time, Gumby fell in love with Frieda Salas, an evil ghost who wants to kill him and steal his money. Lira had tea with her SimBots and lamented the curse of aging. Mandrake broke my game, and Boa tried in vain to die by jelly bean. I know now that that can’t happen, but for the sake of continuity and my pride I’m going to pretend I am none the wiser.

(Pretend not to be wise? How ever shall I do that?)

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Gumby’s second date with Frieda was a raging and unreasonable success. I know the shot I gave you last chapter was a little stingy, so here’s a better look at her face.

Frieda: So hypothetically, what colour would you want your ghost to be?

Gumby: I don’t know. Why?

Frieda: Oh, no reason.

For anyone wondering, this is her real, EA-given colouring. All of the Midnight Hollow ghosts seem to look like this underneath, i.e. so white they must have been genetically engineered by Hitler himself.

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5.1 The Living Dead

Guess who’s back, bitches!

(Using that phrase purely for power-drama. I think very highly of you all.)

To start with, thank you for your moral support/commiseration/technical advice on that very articulate Error 12 post. I’m happy to announce that WE ARE IN THE CLEAR! And in fact, I’ve nearly finished playing Gumby’s generation, so now comes a crapload of writing. Enjoy!

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The fate of the family is now rests on… a guy who still creeps around like a grounded teenager.

Gumby: I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Polly.

Polly: Don’t tell me what to do! Go to your room!

Gumby: Okay.

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