6.14 Enter Sandman

We did it! We’re here! We can finally put Gen. 6 to sleep! Strangely, after all that talk about being burnt out, I woke up after 4.5 hours all fired up to write the next one. My PC has this weird habit of randomly booting on its own, usually in the middle of the night; at 5:30am I convinced myself that I did it with my mind, took it as a sign, and now here we are.

This one’s a short one and all about the kids, so pack your lunchboxes and brush up on the lingo, fam. It’s lit.

Rhapsody: Fine, bye.

I don’t think Siesta has slept once since becoming a teenager. When her energy turns red, she hits the coffee and just keeps a-rolling until she’s dying again 30 minutes later. This is exactly what Frieda was doing in her final days; needless to say, I’m a little concerned.

Siesta: I’m fiiiiiiiiine.

Kip: “I’m fiiiiiiiiine,” she says.

Trance: This is why I tell people at school she’s our cousin.

Kip: Thank god, so do I.

The kid bounces back like a goddamn rubber ball.

Siesta: Wake up, kiddies, we’re going on an adventure!

Kip: Excuse me, that’s my line.

False—unless you are in fact Bilbo Baggins.

And you can’t out-hipster a hobbit.

Siesta: We’re off to Never-Neverland!

Trance: Don’t touch that, you nubcake.

Too late. Here we be—and oh my, how have I failed to notice how graphically satisfying this place is?!

Siesta fits in quite well with the aesthetic.

Siesta: Hmm? Wuh-oh, did I sleepwalk again?

Trance… well, Trance is Trance and every kind of lighting suits him.

Trance: That’s exactly what I was going to say.

I know, you’re getting in my head. Stop.

Kip: What about me? Does it suit me?

Yeah, not so much tbh.

Kip: Fine, I’m going off into the wilderness. Don’t follow me.

So I stalk her with a camera while she looks for a place with more of a Kip vibe, because that’s what she wants anyway.

Kip: You don’t know my life. Totally unrelated, but does my hair look okay from the back?

The best she can find is a post-apocalyptic hobbit hole.

Kip: But they won’t let me in!

Well, duh…

Trance gets the ever-important task of seeking out descendents. That is, if he can get a hold of himself.

Trance: You mean if this useless fruit bat will get its TALONS OUT OF MY WRIST.

As to why he’s dragonsitting, your guess is as good as mine.

We have seen the future of Langurd, and it is very ginger.

Descendant: Name’s Shayla. Are you from the Middle Ages?

Trance: Nah, this isn’t a real dragon.

Blubsy: CACAW?!

Trance: Shut up you dumb pigeon.

Meet her, uh, husband? Child? Siblings? Otherwise unspecified relatives? Chin-Han and Marcy……………wait for it……………O’Reilly-O’Connell. You are actually kidding me.

Chin-Han: At last we have infiltrated the world!

And so, I see, has The Claudia. My notes say these goons are Kip’s descendants.

There’s also this guy’s picture floating aimlessly with no explanation except that his name is Andrea. He has Siesta’s nose, maybe? And is obviously stoutly refusing to get with the times.

Andrea: Bikes are so retro!

Siesta has one purpose and one purpose only. To live out her Big Hero 6 dreamz at the bot arena.

Followed up by a shopping trip.

Siesta: You look like you’d be great in a bot fight!

Bot: I have no legs…

Siesta: Hmm, you seem more suited to some forever alone guy who isn’t getting any.

Guy: It’s not like that, okay??

Of all the bots, of course we’re drawn to this glorious carpet-patterned hunk—but apparently we’re not the only ones.

Woman: My husband is never home these days…

Woman: What do you say, floating blob of guck? Should we add him to the family?

Siesta: Gross! Thanks for ruining him, lady!

It takes a while, but by dusk Kip has finally found her aesthetic.

Kip: Too bad my phone’s dead.

While Trance spends the latter half of the day home alone, thanking the gods no one is around to see him fail at being cool.

Trance: Not the face, please!

Based on the lighting in these screenshots, Siesta takes several more hours to make her decision.

Siesta: I’ll take one robot please!

Welcome to the family Prototype 007, because I know shit all about ITF stuff and I’m not even sure there was an option to change it. I also did not stop to think that learning bot building would be a better way to delve into this, but what’s done is done.

007: Hey human, thanks for busting me out of here. Have you thought about what kind of traits you want to give me?

Siesta: Oh man, I thought you were like a puppy and I cold just throw you a ball every now and then.

007: Wow. You should never get a dog.

Funnily, I checked and her forgotten teen trait is actually Animal Lover.

Siesta: Mind if I open up your control panel and poke some stuff?

007: Why does that sound so ominous?

Gradually, Siesta goes from national security threat to mere nuisance.

Siesta: Prototype, I’m hungry!

007: What are you, a baby bird?

Siesta: Feed me pls!

007: No, feed yourself.

Siesta: Ooooh, where are we going? McDonalds?

007: Do you even speak English?

And a dynamic duo is born.

Siesta’s not the only one who’s bringing home a companion. Despite its decided lack of organic appeal, Kip acquires this little tamagotchi creature by some means I don’t remember and immediately gets attached to it.

Kip: Don’t we look cute together though?

Krista the Sprite: *totally real emotions*

Kip: Here girl, I risked my life foraging for your favourite food!

Krista: *tearing up*

Flashback to Kip delirious in the desert, picking up random shit.

Kip: Ooooooooh pretty!

Zombie: *trying really hard to do the Black Widow pose*

It’s been a time, but the kiddos must get back to their cozy little beds. Uh Kip, maybe put the virtual woodland creature away for this?

Kip: A little radiation won’t hurt her.

Krista: 😀

Krista: Weeeeeeeee!

Krista: *gone*

Siesta: Eeps, I hope my plumbot made it back alive.

Kip: Plumbot?

007: Here I am, world!

Siesta: Pssst, the camera’s over there.

007: Huh?

007: HERE I AM, WORLD!

Kip: Why would you…

Trance: Congrats, you’ve outdone yourself.

How nice of Emit to stick around and welcome them back! Actually, he’s just been doing loop-de-loops on his jetpack since he first showed up.

Emit: How accustomed are you to living with ghosts?

Siesta: Pretty used to it, why?

Kip: HARGABLAR!

Siesta: WAAHHH TAKE THE ROBOT FIRST

Emit: Just curious.

Now comes the part where it’s time to get ready for the heir poll but, since I can’t let a single moment go undocumented, we conclude the generation with a jumble of random happenings.

Kip: Oh hey, aren’t you that banana-coloured girl from my class? Sorry, “yellow” is just too politically incorrect.

Kip: Say, would you be open to doing an Insta collab sometime?

The betrayal when you discover that your overachieving model child is actually Florin in disguise.

And now for a more exciting discovery: this is Jada Dolan, daughter of the Red Riding Hood spoof couple Finn and Sarah. A little while ago I was scrolling through Kip’s acquaintances and realized that if Kip is a black and white picture, Jada is totally her sepia tone counterpart.

One quick makeover and my brain is like:

Jada: Why are you looking at me like that?

Kip: Possibilities.

Kip: This is perfect. We will have ALL the followers.

Dusty: Ew, lesbians.

You’re just jealous ‘cause you wanted some of that.

This in turn causes something else to accidentally fall into place.

Siesta: Dusty? You know it’s not Halloween, right?

Dusty: *sigh* My parents are sending me to re-education because I failed to complete a… certain mission.

Siesta: Rough. That happened to my aunt once.

Dusty: Yeah probably not the same thing.

Siesta: Will this little kid’s backflip fail cheer you up?

Dusty: Hmm?

Dusty: Oh man that’s hysterical!

Siesta: Haha yeah and it didn’t hurt at all!

Hmm, maybe Kip and Jada’s creative energies don’t mesh so well after all.

Jada: I’m blind!

Kip: Your hand is on my butt!

Jada: I’M BLIND!

And it’s possible Jada has misunderstood the whole arrangement.

Jada: Good, yes, we will get married now.

Kip: Whoa, let’s back up a bit.

Should’a known we’d never escape it.

On a parting note, there are two and a half Sims in this picture.

Rhapsody: Well, you did say it was all about the kids…

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This makes 9 posts in 10 days, but no big deal. Thank you all for joining me on this teetering, rickety roller coaster. It’s unlikely this kind of regularity will ever happen again, but hey, just wait ‘til the blog turns ten! Jk, we’d better be done before then.

I’ll post an heir poll when I’ve had some time to settle back into the real world and answer all the comments I’ve missed. I had a pretty clear favourite when I played through, but I’m not sure what I think anymore (or if I CAN think anymore). Such is the way in our strange mode of storytelling. Anyway, look for that in the next day or two—until then, Happy Simming!

-Sam