Seven Years of Slacking

So I bet you saw this post and thought “hey, it’s July, it’s SimNano time – looks like Gryff got her shit together halfway through the month!”

Well nope, I’m actually just here to drop the obligatory birthday post acknowledging this blog’s SEVEN YEARS of existence. That’s right – acknowledging, not celebrating, because we’re well past treating these birthdays as accomplishments.

^ This legacy, 95 years from now after the successful completion of Chapter 8.17

In fact, at exactly seven years in, my last published chapter is 7.7 and that’s pretty cool BUT we’ve officially started averaging LESS than a generation a year and that’s pretty… not cool.

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Here are some more impressive things that have been accomplished in less than seven years:

Michelangelo – painted the Sistine Chapel

Mark Zuckerberg – coded Facebook, became a billionaire

Harry Potter – defeated the darkest wizard of all time

The Black Death – eradicated 60% of Europe’s population

This kid – born, accepted to Oxford

 

On the other hand, it took Andy Dufresne 19 years to escape Shawshank Prison and excavating a wall with a tiny hammer seems like a much more apt metaphor for this legacy soooo maybe I don’t need to beat myself up. (Correction – I really do need to beat myself up.)

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In a classic example of “I set the bar way too high for myself and now I can’t even see it,” I’m afraid I don’t have time this year to host a multi-chapter party, stage more Olympics, and ESPECIALLY not to churn out a post a day for a week or build a goddamn PC (where did I get that energy?!) so for the Langurds’ seventh birthday, my gift to you is this random collection of… highlights? A summary? Maybe just a bunch of pictures I found in a mysterious folder called “favourites” that happened to be on the drive I brought with me to Korea?

But we have to give everything a fancy name around here, so I present to you:

Langurds through the Years

Title: The Formation of the Secret Block Society^TM

Tagline: You can’t sit with us

Title: The Secret Block Society II: Mass Graduation

Tagline: Probably still grasping basic geometry

Title: Tewl’s Just Desserts

Tagline: The world’s most punchable face

Title: The Return of the Football

Tagline: A silver-haired bromance (in theatres this fall)

Title: No Babe, THAT’S our Star!

Tagline: No Dorothy, you’re not a part of this

Title: Proper Childbirth Posture

Tagline: Honey, this wasn’t part of the birth plan

Title: The Tale of the Mantis

Tagline: Jack of all trades – master of being beaten repeatedly by an old lady

Title: Head of the Family Tree

Tagline: Praying those apples fall, like, thirty miles away

Title: Jergens Awakens

Tagline: When you know you’ll never get an Imaginary Friend potion, you take matters into your own hands

Title: How to Break Up a Couple in 10 Seconds – by Katana Langurd

Tagline: Not sure if disgusted or impressed?

Title: Lira’s Big Entrance

Tagline: A Halloween birth on the dance floor, what can go wrong?

Title: Murderous Thoughts

Tagline: When you’re at a house party and you literally hate everyone there

Title: Left Hanging

Tagline: The tragic saga of Dax and Lance, a.k.a. Dunce

Title: Attack of the Bedtime Stories

Tagline: Don’t be silly, I hate all my children equally

Title: Better Door than a Window

Tagline: Tammy Parker – WoRsT RoOmMaTe EvEr

Title: My Snaaaaaacks!

Tagline: That time when I really didn’t understand this game at all

Title: Toadz in Luv

Tagline: I thought u were a wizard?

Title: Immediate Regret

Tagline: When you’re evil but you’re friendly too

Title: How can we sleep while our beds are burning?

Tagline: The moment that literally made me write all the prior chapters faster, because I was so excited to use this caption

Title: A Most Unholy Union

Tagline: The real reason LeffJeff didn’t make it in the end

Title: Florin’s War on Love

Tagline: When even your soapbox is a sinking ship

Title: Pokey’s Dream, Fulfilled

Tagline: Boa’s lot in life, summarized

Title: No More Jellybeans

Tagline: When even death doesn’t want you

Title: A Happy Family

Tagline: Or the cast of a 2009 YA novel?

Title: Toy Story 5

Tagline: Still less creepy than those ventriloquist dummies.

Title: Til Death Do Us Part

Tagline: But I still won’t marry you

Title: Brainfreeze

Tagline: A side-effect of ice cream, or Gumby’s totally overwhelmed mental state upon entering adulthood?

Title: Gumby Becomes Death

Tagline: If Scott Calvin can do it, so can I!

Title: Man(drake) in the Moon

Tagline: Spoiler – he doesn’t stick the landing

Title: Calamity Finds Love

Tagline: None needed

Title: Identity Crisis

Tagline: Think inside the box

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And because this all feels really half-assed, here’s an even MORE half-assed (quarter-assed, even) preview of what’s to come!

Safe to say I’m probably not making my SimNano goal of seven posts in July (given that thus far I have ZERO) but I’ll try to get at least one more out this month. If you’re not on Boolprop and have no idea what I’m talking about, what are you even doing?!

Now, I’m going to post this shit before it’s no longer July 12th in any time zone anywhere…

Happy Simming!

-Sam