7.10 Early Hints

Dude, how’d we get to Chapter 10 with no babies? The last time we dawdled this much was in Gen. 4, when the gang was still in university. “The gang” included Lev, which surely can’t be a coincidence. And remember how she graduated first but didn’t actually get a degree? And how she never completed her LTW either? Yeesh.

#LevLangurdIsOverParty amirite?

And then there was Gen.2, which was only 10 chapters long in total. A simpler time. D:

Anyway, I seem to be forgetting that I kept Kip and Trance around because I LIKED them, so I’ll try to give their remaining appearances less of a “gtfo already” vibe. Dustiesta’s offspring will flood grace the homestead soon enough.

Duke: Excuse me, what do you mean “no babies”? I am a baby!

Siesta: Me too! Feed me!

Trance: I thirst. Am gromp.

Delilah: Is this the Gen. 8 heir poll?

I sure hope we can come up with better candidates…

HOLD THE PHONE. What is Rhapsody still doing here?

Rhapsody: Holding the phone.

Did you forget how to move out???

Rhapsody: Oh, where am I moving to?

*literally tosses her out the window, concussing her with a flying bass drum in the process*

Maybe that’s a little harsh but god, I’ve never been so sick of a sim. And it looks like we finally convinced the game that she prefers music over sports, so she’ll be serenading the Valley ‘til the bitter end. Yay?

And over here we have the coolest Langurd ever to exist. Our newly-dubbed Firefighter Superhero is owed several awards by the city, so she’s here to collect them and then (hopefully) throw them on the grund as she makes a badass exit through the nearest wall.

Cal: Will there be cake?

Please refrain from eating the enemy’s peace offering.

Cal: I can’t promise anything.

Lev: *sigh* I guess I have to present those awards, don’t I?

Unless maybe you wanna step down as mayor?

Lev: In your dreams.

Then yep, get in there and give all your gold to our girl.

Lev: Don’t enjoy yourself too much.

Cal: Oi Dairy Queen, I hope you came with an ice cream cake.

😀 😀 😀

*crickets chirping*

Hmm, I wonder what’s taking so long?

So?! Did you sue her into next century or what?

Cal: Nah.

Why the hell not??!

Cal: The council offered me a hefty sum to retire and keep my mouth shut.

Daaaaamn. But you turned it down, right?

CALAMITY MOTHERFUCKING LANGURD, I—

Cal: I take six figure naps now, please don’t take this away from me.

I… fair enough. Can’t say you didn’t earn it.

And all is well again, though I must admit that I too am rather dumbfounded that Jeffery would remarry someone who SUCKS SO MUCH.

Lev: Hey, remember when you used to like me?

Can’t recall, byyeeeeeeeeee.

With wedding bells in the air, there’s another power couple whose union is long overdue.

Jada: Can I help you two?

Kip: Can you indeed…

Jada: Seriously, what is this?

Kip: Mom has this dying wish, you see.

Cal: Meh, hurry it up. I’m late for my napping shift.

Jada: Let me guess, she wants to see us get married?

Kip: I don’t know why you would guess that…

Jada: Really? So you didn’t hang my formalwear in the bushes with this ring in the pocket?

Kip: Who could be THAT prepared??

Jada: The same person who scheduled this engagement photoshoot for the perfect evening light.

Kip: It is perfect, isn’t it?

Kip: I mean OH MY GOSH! I. AM. SHOCKED.

Jada: Wow, real nice touch with the lightning.

Kip: Shhh, I can’t control it.

Cal: Welp, gotta pee. You two have fun.

Kip: But this is for you, Ma!

Cal: I now pronounce you wife and wife. Tada, the end.

And what a happy end it is. ❤

Or would have been, had I resisted the temptation to continue experimenting with their perfect genes and just kicked them out with their already-perfect crotch goblin.

Brannan sure lives up to the goblin name – he’s been creepin’ in the shadows since birth. Wanna show the readers your face?

Brannan: They can’t handle this.

Try them.

Brannan: Monsta twuck.

Can you handle? I certainly can’t.

Oh yeah, Riza became a teenager I guess. And Breandan is still alive.

Riza: Hey Dad. I know you’re on life support and stuff but I thought of a fun father-daughter activity for us to do.

Said no one EVER.

But sure EA, condemn the unwed mothers.

Meanwhile, Trance is out here making easy meals of the peace-seeking folk at Peaceful Park.

Jeremy Hooley: They really gotta rename this place.

The Hooley brothers have had a tough go of it. If you recall, Jeremy’s brother Derrick was triumphantly divorced by our very own Dusty as a substitute for standing up to the Mithrilen elders. But I’m happy to announce he’s found love in the most hopeless of places, with our very own (invisible, days from death, and probably doing magic tricks in an alley) Fiasco Langurd!

Trance: Hey, if I bite you will you get my vampire powers?

Stray Dog: Idk but if I bite you you’ll definitely get rabies.

Trance: Sounds dope.

Smh.

Trance: Want some rabies and like four other diseases I probably have?

Samir: *gulp* Gotta catch’em all, right?

Riza being useful!

Riza being useless!

Riza: Please, have you ever seen this guy NOT quaking in his boots?

Fair point.

Military life seems to have our little damsel in constant distress.

Siesta: You smell like garbage. Hugs?

Dusty: Gaahh I’d really prefer some soft violin music right now.

Siesta: But Dusty!

Dusty: Sorry. The recruits put me in the laundry chute today.

Siesta: But you’re their boss!

Dusty: Haha good one.

Dusty: But while I’m emotionally fragile, I have an idea.

Siesta: Dusty, we already got married in France.

Dusty: France isn’t real life.

Dusty: Will you— WHY CAN’T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!!!

Siesta: Chill dude, of course I will.

Dusty: Oh. Good.

What happy times. Kipada married, Dustiesta (re)engaged, and Trelilah… bound eternally in vampiric bliss?

Trance: Hey wife, get this. This juicebox is full of blood.

Delilah: Whaaaaaaa, who’da thunk??

Delilah: So’s mine, remember?

Trance: Oh, huh, that’s so weird.

Delilah: Trance, you turned me yourself.

Trance: Oh, right! That was so cool when I did that.

Trance: I could give you rabies too?

Delilah: No thanks, I’m good.

Whoa, how’d we get over here?

Kip: Notice that literally none of us are surprised.

It’s true, China trips are basically a rite of passage in this legacy.

This one’s to round out Kip’s international gallery with some snaps of koi fish and cherry blossoms.

Kip: Those are both Japanese things.

Yeah, and Florin’s mom was Korean. Not my fault EA conglomerated all the Asian cultures.

And Jada is here to master Sim Fu and apparently become the first black belt in heels. But hey, don’t those kicks kinda give your kicks an advantage?

Jada: Wanna find out? With your face?

Not really, you do your thing.

And how are Trelilah making use of this getaway?

Keepin’ the marriage alive with a Shaka Bra. Classic.

Trance: That’s not the only thing keeping it alive if you know what I mean

Delilah: Yes, I am incredibly fulfilled by this purely physical relationship.

Meanwhile in her wish panel…

Who else is suddenly very relieved they didn’t win the heir poll?

Speaking of heirs, China offers Dustiesta the opportunity to finally have their first real date. In Chapter 10. Goodness.

Wu: Psshhh, you call this a date?

Siesta: She’s right, Dusty. At least put your swim trunks on.

Dusty: Why? I don’t plan on swimming.

*five minutes later*

Dusty: WWAAUUUUGHHHH

Dusty: *traumatized and never leaving base camp again* What about you, Riza? How are you spending your trip?

Riza: Oh, you know.

Jada: Dude, that kid scares me.

Dusty: She scares you? Cripes, I gotta go.

I forgot to mention Riza’s teen trait – Supernatural Skeptic. Curious for a 16% alien whose mother is a ghost.

Riza: You can’t prove anything.

You know, I bet ghosts sometimes wish they didn’t exist. How’s that mountain climbing, Kip?

Kip: It’s 4am. I’m soggy. Base camp is faaaaaaar. Tell Jada I love her.

Sultan’s Tabernacle to the rescue! Gotta love when your ancestors conquered the realms before you were born.

And she conveniently reached the Temple of Heaven just before dying of exhaustion. How metaphorical.

Zhan: Uh, excuse me. This is a religious landmark. Could you please pitch your tent somewhere else?

Kip: Sure thing. Could you please tell the temple to make it stop raining?

Zhan: I– what?

She very graciously stays put and later wakes up to capture the absolute pinnacle of her photography career.

Kip: The view.

Kip: It’s breathtaking.

Can sympathize, dude. This is what I got for climbing “the most beautiful mountain in Korea”:

Spoopy.

The moral of these first ten chapters: Siesta leads a simple life fueled by simple joys. Be like Siesta.

Siesta: If you’re happy and you know it, slap your butt!

Siesta: Oh hey where’d my arm go?

Siesta: C’mon Dusty, you know you wanna get in on this!

Dusty: Yes, darling.

A match made in (the Temple of) Heaven. ❤

Trance: Oh, puh-lease. You two noobs? More like a match made in the toilet.

Dusty: Hey, what did we ever do to–

Trance: Uh uh, no one argues with the Trance. Least of all a pair of turds.

Dusty: Don’t talk about my fiancee like that.

Siesta: Why are you getting mad at me?

Dusty: Sorry! I’m confused.

Dusty: I love you, baby.

Trance: They all do.

Siesta: Over here, Dusty.

Dusty: I don’t think I understand three-way conversations.

Siesta: We’ll work on it.

Trance: These nerds, amirite?

Riza: *typing* Pandemic? There’s no pandemic. It’s the 5G my dudes. They’re putting it in your BRAIN.

Trance: Wait, really?!

Riza: *typing* Masks? Please, I’ll die before I let them take away my civil liberties. But not from the virus because I’m 17 and immune.

Jada: This is really problematic.

Delilah: Pssst, you want out of this shit? I talked to a guy about a boat…

Blubsy: Cacaw!

Riza: *typing* Racism? That was cancelled in 1652. Read a history book. If anything it’s harder to be white nowadays.

Kip: I’m going to cancel the internet before you post this.

Brief interruption to announce that I love this cat and his name will be Flagrant Insubordination.

Riza: *typing* Also, beware the kpop stans who only want to spread foreign propaganda and put Chinese invaders in the White House. Aaaaaaand, post!

Tourist: Kid, you need to find a new hobby.

Riza: *ponders*

Siesta: OH GOD NO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Before we conclude the voyage, please enjoy Horses at Sunset: Expectation Edition

and Reality Edition

Horse: HERKFJHDLJK GO ON WITHOUT ME JAMES

Apparently we needed a car, a van, and a fire engine to get us to and from the airport. Which begs the question, just how much shit did y’all pack for two days???

Kip, who really needs to do some laundry, completes her World Class Gallery but doesn’t get the LTW because SURPRISE! The location tags are broken on her France and Egypt shots. I try 7 trillion things to no avail. But screw it, I have cold hard evidence HERE and HERE so she’s getting the point, dammit.

Finally, I don’t know why the game doesn’t accept my hip and happening cheat codes. Get with the times, son.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Post 1/5 for SimNano! My goals for July are: 5 posts, 350 pictures, and 10,000 words. This one took me eight days and I’m pretty sure it didn’t meet the benchmark for pictures or words, so crap. But no harm in trying…?

This blog also has a big old birthday coming up (I’m too ashamed to even talk numbers) so stay tuned for something special. Maybe. I know you’re all probably sick of “staying tuned” by now, so stay untuned if you’d rather.

For now, Happy Simming!

-Sam

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