7.15 Payload Too Large

Well damn, this MUST be the longest year ever if I’m actually going to get an eighth post in yet. I thought we’d continue on that downward slope from 2016 – the peak year of this blog in all ways – through the pitiful four posts of 2019 and into the dark chasm of “I remember when there used to be updates.”

But alas! My advent calendar this year is in the style of a daily “to do” list, and today’s little paper said “write a blog post,” so I groaned and opened up ye olde screenshot folder to see what we were working with, and GOOD LORD HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN JUST HOW MUCH WE ARE WORKING WITH.

Please witness: Middle Children’s Reaction to Their Parents Having Quadruplets

Ixi: I love Tanky!

Tonu: I love everything!

Hey guys. Take a look through the nursery window. I dare you.

*crickets*

Tonu: I HATE EVERYTHING!

Ixi: Tanky was made for death and destruction.

Our eldest Acara’s aged up out of the madhouse just in time, and into a shared room with the world’s dullest cousin.

Acara: Hey Riza, did you know the chances of having quadruplets are one in 800,000? Isn’t that so interesting?

Riza: I find very few things interesting.

Acara: Oh. Good to know.

Acara: So what’cha writing?

Riza: This legacy.

Acara: Cool. Someone’s gotta do it.

Riza: Yep.

Acara: Do I grow up good?

Riza: …Do you grow up at all, should be the question.

Acara: You’re a real peach.

Riza: Go frolic.

Acara: Fine.

Dusty became a father of seven and immediately aged twenty years.

Siesta: Am I next?

Ixi: Am I? How will I ever get my beauty sleep?!

Dusty: *reevaluating life*

The one saving grace is that this house is TEEMING with spare hands. In addition to the frazzled parents we have a frazzled Dudley, a frazzled Pete, and even our dear Riz—

Riza: I have moved out.

Hey what?

Okay, fine then.

With her wishes and dreams out of the way, I have solid bets on her retiring to mimehood.

Instead, she adopts a kitten, gets engaged to a Mithrilen, and takes up her father’s old profession. Who’d’ve guessed? (Perhaps me, if I payed attention to my Sims’ actual traits instead of assigning them the LTWs that are convenient to me. XD)

We’ve come up with a (sort of) solution for Ixi’s beauty sleep.

Pete: Here go, Proncess.

Ixi: Are you mad? What kind of princess sleeps in the hall?

Pete: Paper Bag Proncess.

Ixi: How rude!

The eldest two girls definitely have their robot biases. Ixi has essentially been raised by Pete, and Acara by Dudley.

Acara: Tell me a story, Dudley.

Dudley: Story 😀

Acara: Don’t be smart with me.

Dudley: Smart?

Acara: You know what, never mind. Good job, Dudley!

Dudley: Dudley!

Dudley: Dudley?

Acara: Well, Mom and Dad won’t be sleeping tonight, will they?

An excellent point. They are now irremovable spokes in an endlessly turning wheel of childcare.

Dusty: Yes, this is a plea to all of Dragon Valley. They have us hostage in here. Someone PLEASE bring us a casserole or something?!?

No lie, he really was consorting with the mayor.

Casseroles are thoroughly unnecessary, though. The family can barely keep up Dudley’s Steel Chef chip as it is.

Acara: There’s no room for the tofu dogs.

There’s a problem we never thought we’d have.

That and spontaneous raw chickens.

Also, can we appreciate that generations of family portraits are lost to the void while Florin’s dumb picture of Helmet Guy is still kicking? Smh, game.

They did it. The quads are asleep, their schedules are synced, and there’s only one logical thing to do with this blessed free time.

Siesta: Let’s have another kid.

Dusty: I am never touching you again.

Siesta: But Dusty!

Dusty: Dudley, can you give her a sedative? She’s lost it.

Dudley: DRUGS 😀

Even if the house weren’t overflowing, Dusty really does need to crack down on his career. Especially since his evil OROC boss passed away, only to be replaced…

…by her equally evil OROC daughter. Nepotism is the fuel of Dragon Valley.

Acara: Sooo… much… food…

Yeah yeah, do you even know how the Gen. 2 kids suffered?

Acara: I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.

Well, I definitely exed out a lot of wishes for a chemistry station back in the day.

Acara: Really? This thing isn’t even that expens—

SHUT UP AND DO YOUR SCIENCE.

That’s right, she’s having science ambitions. This one’s gonna be a breadwinner.

Acara: But we already have SO MUCH BREAD.

Yep – a fridge full of home-cooked meals, a whole chicken on the counter, and Siesta opts for birthday cake.

Siesta: It brings me joy.

Personally, I think she’s milking this a bit. I mean, the robots are doing all the work.

Siesta: Hey, are you a parent? Don’t judge me.

Dammit. Then, what would you like me to do?

Siesta: Pity me. I want a vacation.

Flights are cancelled, so we settle for rocking up to Jada’s pool party with a fake smile.

Siesta: This isn’t fake!

Don’t worry kid, there are no secrets here.

Jada’s already made it clear she’s only happy to see your daughter.

Siesta: Hey what? How dare you two have fun without me!

Jada: Fun? Who’s having fun? I know only existential dread.

Siesta: I’ll show you— WAAAGHHH

Jada: See? Danger around every corner!

This mini vacation also doubles as the traditional “re-bond with your firstborn after ignoring them for weeks” Langurd experience.

Siesta: Hey Acara, take that! *splash*

Unfortunately, the state of said bond is questionable.

Acara: What the heck was that for? Do you not like me or something?

Siesta: Huh? No, not at all!

Acara: You don’t like me at all?

Siesta: That’s not what I— jeez, lighten up a little!

Acara: You think I’m too heavy??!

…Okay Siesta, I agree. Parenting is rough.

But all will be solved with a little friendly competition, right?

Siesta: Yay, I win!

Acara: Whoopee, you’re better at not drowning than me. Can I get out now?

We’ve got a whole family reunion up in here! And wow, who had money on Walden being the biggest heartthrob of the Kipada brood?

Delilah: I certainly didn’t.

Walden: Thanks for that, Auntie.

Acara: Well met. Sir.

Walden: Is that how you greet people at school?

Acara: I haven’t gone yet. Sir.

Walden: Oh, thank god. Let’s teach you a good old wave, huh?

Walden’s twin Willow is notably absent – evidently hanging out with her purple-haired girlfriend! Who is a Langurd, but I’m too lazy to intervene, and my game so rarely generates same-sex couples that I just wanna be in denial and take the win.

Jada and Kip get old shortly after the party.

Trance and Delilah get remarried. I never got the notification for their split, but I’m sure none of us are surprised in the least.

Oh hey, look at Crash still kicking, being a famous singer and stu—

Never mind. He was the last of the Gen. 6s… I think? I’m not at all sure about the status of Rhapsody. XD

Ixi learns to walk, a skill to be solely utilized for opening doors at all the wrong times.

Ixi: Excuse me, tin man! The hallway is my domain.

Naked Dusty: Wha—?

Or all the right times.

Ixi: I’m serious. Remove the imposter at once.

Ten metaphorical bucks if anyone can remember the imposter’s name.

(I’m deliberately not giving you that refresher until they toddlerify because burritos are forgettable anyway.)

Dusty: *nervous laugh* Let’s try to give people fewer opportunities to take nudes of your dad, mmkay?

Ixi: I can use the potty fully dressed. Who really needs to try harder here?

Can we truly say they’re struggling at this point? Toddler skills are a luxury available only to those with their shit together.

Here’s the real reason for that – and the real men of the hour, everyone.

Dudley: REAL MEN!

Pete: Chorging.

Truly an iconic duo.

The genuine miracle here is that the children are coming out of this upbringing with actual initiative?!? One might blame Dusty’s genes of military servitude.

Dusty: I’m not some pushover!

Go eat your hotdog.

Dusty: K.

Not that it stops her parents wanting to pawn her off. Sorry Siesta, but we can hardly have her off washing someone ELSE’s dishes!

But before we judge Siesta too hard, let’s remember that she has technically issued TEN offspring in this world, between steel ones and flesh ones.

(Also, damn Cal. Holy freaking motherload of grandchildren. :O)

Forever traumatized by her first bot’s betrayal (fucking Siri), Siesta takes extra special care of these two.

Dudley: Hehe, that tickles.

Siesta: Almost done, buddy.

Siesta: Who’s the coolest RoboMom?

Dudley: SIESTA!

Siesta: Are humans for marrying?

Dudley: NO!

Siesta: How many chickens are we cooking today?

Dudley: FOURTEEN!

Siesta: Eh, good enough. Off you go.

And finally, the moment I’ve made you wait five months and an entire chapter for. Today our REAL MEN have the honour of—well, putting some babies on the floor.

Dudley: HONOUR!

But first, it’s Ixi’s turn! Her birthday is met with a general vibe of disappointment.

Ixi: Hello, mother! I’ve grown up!

Siesta: Whoa. Nuh-uh. Give me back my face.

Ixi: Oh… I’ll just go to bed without cake, then.

Despite being a semi-prodigy, she develops No Sense of Humour—our first since Florin. :’)

And here are the quads! With a whole pile of variety for us! :O

And ready to start screaming again as soon as those bowls are empty, so I’ll make this quick.

First up is Kau, our Brave and Outdoorsy boy. He has the O’Connell hair Siesta failed to get, and the brown (formerly alien) eyes that started with Gumby.

He may have aged up looking oddly like the Archaic Rap meme:

But I digress.

Here’s Evil Friendly Kiko, whose huge eyes and tiny overbite just melt my heart.

Kiko: Great. That’s just how I like my hearts.

Frieda’s hair is still going strong with this one, as are Gumby’s eyes.

Kougra, our Grumpy Loner, has ALL the cat vibes. With red hair from the O’Connell side and yellow eyes from the Mithrilens, I would say she’s genetically the coolest except—

—for this little Clumsy Genius anomaly. I still haven’t solved the mystery of her skin colour, but she couldn’t stop there. She also nabbed the cool-ass yellow eyes and threw it back to Cal’s spiceberry highlights!

Pete: Noice.

Agreed, Pete. Agreed.

This feels like as good a place as any to peace out, so I will leave you with the latest family portrait—a literal depiction of Dudley trying to juggle toddlers while three capable adults pretend to be doing more important things with their hands. Note also that Kyrii is not even there.

You do me proud, Langurds 4.

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I think I joked in the last chapter that I’d leave you guys hanging for four months. That was July. Oops. XD

I definitely have comments to catch up on, but I figured I’d get this baby out into the world first. As a general update, I do want to mention: I’ve decided to extend my contract in Korea for a third year! It’s both exciting and a little bittersweet, since most of my reasons for this are COVID-driven (fear of returning to a bleak job market, feeling like I haven’t accomplished half of the things on my bucket list here because DOING THINGS is currently FORBIDDEN).

However, I do have content left! Last chapter was purely a milestone because of SimNano and because I’d been waiting to reveal the quads for so long. I was a little worried when I was publishing multiple times a week, but at my current pace I think we can safely assume I won’t run out of content before Feb ‘22. XD I actually get to write these kids all the way through university and a little bit beyond, so buckle up.

Stay safe, Happy Holidays, and Happy Simming! ❤

-Gryffindork

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