9.5 The Last-Ditch Effort

You can tell I’m scared of finishing things because I spent most of today doing housekeeping stuff on the blog, including FINALLY updating the banner (which still needs a clean-up, blegh), overhauling the homepage and sidebar, tuning up the family tree, and adding to the family bios. THERE’S A GENERATION TEN PAGE NOW. It’s just waiting for me to put things on it.

So then, let’s get down to business. Last time, there were three weddings and no funerals. Except that’s a lie, because Tonu died in the library (Professor Plum with the wrench, perhaps?) and Whydah was really sad about it. Pearl found true love with the adorably whacky Kia Goldberg, though it took the help of both her siblings to win the girl. Meanwhile, Sal went to Twinbrook to bag Amy Bull and was back before lunchtime. Whydah and Fawn were last to tie the knot in a trash alley in the rain. Fawn also completed her Resort Empire LTW through hard work and determination (*ahem* her in-laws’ money). Which means Whydah is officially the only one in this eight-sim household with anything to do!

It’s the beginning of the end, and of course the IP sky has to be dramatic about it. This is actually the last chapter in Isla Paradiso—we’ll be packing up for a final move just as soon as Whydah wins the singing world. It’s been a refreshingly simple time here on Pirate Island, but we need our mausoleum back and it’s four times the size of this lot. :3

From our living room to a driveway in Twinbrook, and finally a trash alley—the Nines really picked some top-notch wedding venues. How fitting that Whydah’s nuptials were also metres from a cemetery.

Whydah: What are you doing?

Fawn: Drinking rain since you never brought me that pina colada.

Whydah: It’s been like two minutes since you asked.

Fawn: It’s okay. I’ve decided I want something else instead.

A week of excruciating pain, an unbeating heart, and a lifetime of bloodlust?

Oh Fawn, you should know that we take wishes very seriously around here.

Whydah: I don’t know about this…

Fawn: Pretty please? I promise I won’t embarrass you! I’ll be cool and gothic and not dorky at all!

Whydah: No, you won’t.

Fawn: You’re right, I literally don’t know how.

Kia: Hey guys, dinner’s read— OHHHHH MY GOD.

Paparazzi: This is my kink.

Not Kia’s though. This family’s already traumatized her to hell and gone, and that’s not even counting her messy relationship with Tonu’s daughter.

Kia: Is this a cult? Am I next? I don’t wanna be a bat!

Good thing nobody’s turning into a bat because this isn’t The Sims 4. 😀

The game offers Whydah some bullshit time off to “get settled,” but the good thing about showtime careers is that I make the rules. So she’s back on the job within hours, valiantly overcoming her past trauma to busk in the exact same spot she was standing when Uncle Tofu died.

Whydah: ♫ There’s just too much that time cannot erase ♫

Raymond: What kind of fool busks in a LIBRARY though?

The kind of fool who knows her fanbase, Raymond.

Sean: Omg yes!! I was hoping for a show tonight!

Kid: Liar. You said we were coming to check out a book.

Sean: Shhh! Go browse. I hope I didn’t miss “Wig Wig Wag.”

But she can only hold it together for so long. And by that I mean she literally jumps out of the taxi home to wail like a banshee.

Whydah: I couldn’t let the driver see me like this!

So instead, you let the whole town hear you?

Whydah: Precisely.

The rest of the family is just waiting around at this point. I don’t even bother expanding the house; I just cram more beds into the smelly basement.

Mika: That used to be MY bed.

Yes but then you threw your marriage in the trash and now Kau lives in Margaritaville, so I gave it to a more peaceful couple.

Sal & Amy: *dreaming of blowing shit up*

Some of them are still learning to navigate the waters.

Kia: Phew, nice and blunt. I don’t think I’m a vampire yet.

That’s because she didn’t turn you.

Kia: Can never be too careful.

Some are struggling to find allies.

Amy: I don’t know how to tell you this, but your bathing suit… it’s… a little extra.

Kia: You think so?

Amy: I do. How about I give you some fashion tips?

Kia: No.

Amy: Are you sure? I’m happy to hel—

Kia: No.

And others are well-accustomed to these waters—mayhaps a little TOO accustomed, if you know what I mean.

Pearl: Wanna go look at the stars I discovered? I can stand behind you and show you how to use the telescope.

Fawn: Isn’t it like noon?

Pearl: That’s not the poi— oh, never mind.

I don’t think Fawn’s capable of saying anything mean, so indifference is a pretty good sign.

And thank goodness for that. Whydah’s got way too much on her plate to deal with a betrayal right now. With her regular gigs on pause, she has to jump on every SimFest and Sing-A-Gram thrown her way.

Russell: You’re up, Hellnot.

Whydah: A moment, please. I just need to compose myself.

Russell: I suppose I could just give trophy to Boots McTruck…

Whydah: I’M GOING.

Whydah: Today’s stage will be empty to represent a world without Tofu Beancurd in it, and also my heart.

Well shit.

“Boots McTruck” as I have dubbed him is Everado Angel-Ichtaca, and I actually have no idea if he or anyone else got on stage, but he’s definitely out for Whydah’s title.

Everado: ♫ Save a horse, ride a— ♫

Whydah: Please stop. You’re seriously throwing off my choreo.

Whydah: And now, a moment of silence for a fallen legend…

Fan: Booooooo, I came for the music, not for this!

Someone evidently thinks they can take her, but they don’t have the guts to show their face, or their body, or anything at all.

Typical.

Russell: Well folks, you might have guessed it, though you might not believe it… Hey, who did this? It just says “farts.”

Whydah: That’s because this place is farts! You’re all old and stinky!

Amanda: Well, that’s not fair to this young gentleman!

Whydah: Oh, don’t get me started on Jeb. He’s the stinkiest of you all.

She does get the win despite her lack of grace, and I think this boosts her to Level 9 but I couldn’t tell you for sure.

But wait! We seem to be missing a key “old and stinky” aunt in the audience. Does that mean…

Yup. Gen Eight is dropping like flies.

Kau and Kougra are all that’s left of it. And what has this taught us? That the best lifestyles for longevity are a) being a screen-addicted recluse and b) literally picking fights with sharks.

Kau’s reckless days are behind him though. Now he just assaults his body with mundane activities.

Kau: I feel so alive!!

The Sea Dog Inn is making four-figure profits now and may not need his “supervision” much longer.

It’s time to tackle the final frontier of show biz once again! That frontier being Genevieve Gooch, former Hot Repairlady and now-proprietor of the Hoi Polloi Events Center. Whydah summons her and then has the audacity to keep her waiting.

Whydah: Sorry Gooch, gotta appease the fans. You know how it is.

Gooch: That’s your phone. I saw you put it on the ground.

Whydah: You got me. Just commemorating the occasion.

Gooch: You don’t have the gig yet, you know.

Whydah: Oh, I’ll get the gig.

Whydah: ♫ I’ve become so numb / I can’t feel you there / (I’m tired of being what you want me to be) ♫

Gooch: Congratulations! You suck less now! I give you my blessing.

Whydah: *wipes a tear*

And then, just hours later…

Gooch: Knock ‘em dead, kid… *floats into the ether*

Pffffft, who does this “Darren” think he is? We don’t want to play for Darren. WE WANT GOOCH, DAMMIT. D’:

Whydah has two steady gigs now, and between those and the biggun’ I’m convinced she’ll fill up that last performance bar and be done with this thing.

However, getting married seems to have fucked up those steady gigs because the stage at Mick’s doesn’t want her on Wednesday, and Performance Park turns her away on Friday.

Game: You thought I would make this easy, did you?

Even it’s trying to put off the end of this thing. I would’ve thought it was absolutely done with my shit by now.

It’s no secret that I’m done with its shit too. Least of all the incessant door fiascos.

Amy: Do you have a key?

Sal: I thought you had one.

Amy: Shit.

Sal: Let’s clap until they let us in.

Amy: Ooh, great idea!

Kia: Hey, are you guys having a party out here?

Sal: Yes and you’re not invited! *kicks door shut*

Kia: Awww, come on!

Amy: Dude, what was that for?

Sal: What do you mean? We have the power now!

Amy: *sigh* Guess we’re sleeping outside tonight…

Never mind that their bed is in the basement anyway.

I suppose I can’t judge Kau for staying clear of all this. What I can judge him for is telling tall tales to simselves at the bar.

Kau: We’re a very green establishment, you know. Those walls are recycled from an old Amazon warehouse. And we’re so water-conscious, we don’t even use real cups! Or rags!

Bartender: *polishing an invisible glass*

Lady Phantom: You should probably stop that. This place is filthy.

Kau: Only if you choose to see it that way.

Bartender: No, it’s pretty objectively gross.

“You need more training,” Kau seems to say to that, and takes it upon himself to provide it.

But apparently that just means shouting at her on the treadmill, which is so eco-friendly it’s not even plugged into a wall.

Lady: These work much better with electricity, you know.

Kau: Fix that attitude!

Lady: Sorry. I mean, I love trees! Clean the oceans! Vive la recycling!

Kau: Better! Now nine more reps of that!

His ex-wife is much lower-maintenance. These days, she does nothing but read books.

Mika: How was your day, sweetie?

Whydah: Don’t ever call me that. And it was everything I could have hoped, thanks for asking.

She also puts “vive la recycling” into real-life practice, which is probably more than Kau can say for the Sea Dog Inn.

Paparazzi: Pssst, wanna join our coven?

Mika: No thanks.

Paparazzi: Are you sure? You too could wear a cool hat.

Mika: Please vacate the premises.

Fawn’s new undertaking, totally of her own volition, is maxing her Laser Rhythmicon skill. I’m still obsessed with the sound and have no complaints at all.

Whydah: Wow, you’re actually pretty good at that.

Fawn: You know I’m technically better at this than you are at guitar, right?

Whydah: Oh, honey. Don’t compare yourself to a master.

(She’s right, though—if I remember correctly, Fawn’s at Level 8 here and Whydah’s guitar is only Level 6.)

And where does Fawn go when she’s feeling belittled? Straight into the fire. WHYDAH YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

Pearl: Your smile makes me smile.

Fawn: Same here.

Pearl: So how do we ever stop smiling?

Fawn: Uh-oh.

You stop smiling when I banish you out into the rain to play with electricity. That’s how.

Pearl: Seems excessive.

Not if it finally gets through to you idiots.

Fawn’s punishment is listening to the Witchy Paparazzi abuse her Laser Rhythmicon. Unfortunately, it’s punishment for me too.

Witchy: Aaaaand a one, two, three, three… Shucks, they never taught us to count any higher at witch school.

Sal’s adult birthday, which kind of got lost in the door joke, inevitably heralds a midlife crisis. I indulge a few innocent wishes, namely a “Plan Outfit”, but I make sure his new duds are only Tewl hand-me-downs.

Sal: Vive la recycling!

Not a MLC wish, but someone wants an executive butler so I indulge that too. Welcome Becky Pacheco to the household for approximately four days of employment!

Becky: Thank you, I’m so grateful for the opportunity. I hope I might save enough to one day buy a new shade of makeup.

Something’s shady here, and it’s not the makeup.

Hooooo boy. Are we there yet? Evidently not, because this is the failed gig at Mick’s, which makes it Wednesday, and that means the Gig of Gigs is still a whole day away.

Whydah: ♫ When all you gotta keep is strong / Move along, move along like I know you do ♫

Pete: Moof?

Ani: You heard her, boys. Move along.

If she can’t do a show, she’s sure as hell gonna play for tips at the front door to ensure no one patronizes the establishment.

Ani-Mei goes inside though, and that means she has to pay. In blood. Moreso just because Whydah needs fuel.

Whydah: Thanks for supporting my career.

Ani: Don’t you have like a Kofi I can donate to instead?

Her audience for the rest of the evening is Witchy Pap and Jarred, both of whom think they are also musicians.

Whydah: ♫ Hello there / The angel from my nightmare / The shadow in the background of the morgue ♫

Jarred: You know what this could use? COWBELL!

Witchy: Ooooh, how about bagpipes?

I mean, Whydah’s fooled.

There’s never an easy segue into extended family updates, but you may recall that Jarred beat us to the punch bowl and birthed a Gen. 10 without asking. Just for that, he will NEVER jam with Whydah.

But he’s not the only one trying to upstage us. Even Tuna, who is like 20 days younger than the twins, is expecting.

Her younger sister Tilapia is dating an apparent relation of the insufferable, melon-tossing Bennie Collins.

And Kougra, at 93 years of age, is finally married! Coincidentally to Jarred’s uncle, aka the brother of Kyrii’s baby daddy, Rubisel. Guillermo also one of the guys Mika went after in her library rampage. XD

Well, he still won’t come home, but Kau does venture out of his island paradise to attend a random party.

Kau: It’s five o’clock somewhere.

Martina: It’s seven o’clock here. You don’t have to justify your drinking.

This one does though. Alecia Goldberg-Greenwood is Kia’s……. sister? I don’t see her touch the bar, thankfully. She’s just another brick in the “everyone but my heir is having kids” wall.

Alecia: Who’re you calling a brick?

Ah, I remember now. This is Fluffy’s party, and that’s why I documented it. She’s not too thrilled with her guest selection and spends the whole night alone under an umbrella with a palm bismarck impaling her torso.

Fluffy: Still better than being in there.

Other things I’ve forgotten—Amy’s part-time employment at the Day Spa carried over from Twinbrook, so she’s not totally aimless after all! Her work uniform is so confusing that it actually kind of makes sense. And yes, I realize that accepting her income is a little shady since she’s not an official legacy sim, but I’ve given a lot to my spare couples, so they can stand to give something back. Also, this is a job for teenagers and it pays pennies.

Amy: Quite a few pennies, though.

Then tell me, why are we buying our beds with LTH points now? 😛

And THERE SHE IS. Transformation complete, and might I say our Fawn makes a rather excellent creature of the night.

Fawn: Whoa, supersonic hearing makes this sound even cooler!

I recorded a badass video of her playing some techno-classical piece while lightning flashes and bats rise up around her, but I FORGOT TO TICK THE SOUND BOX so all of my videos from this generation are ruined and I’m genuinely so mad I’m going to stop writing this post until tomorrow.

Hi! It’s tomorrow now. I’ve stewed in my failures and I’ve come to accept that they are simply a part of who I am, ten years ago or today.

Kau: Same.

Does this mean you’re finally going home?

Kau: Well, the party was over and you didn’t give me clear instructions, so I guess this is happening.

And what a brave new world he’s about to walk in on. Fawn broing out with her MIL, Kia shunning my arrangements to sleep in the butler’s bed…

Kia: Ooh, can I play?

Fawn: Sorry girl, I did weeks of pandering to get to this point.

…and Amy playing Squid Game with Butler Becky.

Amy: Alright, run through on the count of three. One… two…

Becky: I just want to go make the rest of the beds, ma’am.

Poor Becky has her work cut out for her. We have beds in every corner of the lot now (and on three elevation levels), so making them all is a straight-up scavenger hunt. The newest addition: twin beds in the greenhouse for our resident divorcees!

Mika: Excuse me, what is that man doing in my happy place?

I thought if I gently placed you guys in relative proximity, you might start rolling wishes for each other.

Mika: Wishes for murder, maybe.

Kau: Well, this is gonna be a party for sure.

And finally—but not finally, because this is only the halfway point, holy shit—it’s time for Whydah’s big break!

Whydah: I did not know I had this many fans.

Nor did I, but that’s probably because these Runescape fools were all slimed into miserable existence orc-style for the very purpose of attending this concert.

Fan 1: Ungghhhh?

Fan 2: Hyaaarrrghhhhh

Fan 3: Find the halflings!

Whydah: Mordor, are you ready to rock???

Fans: AAAAAAARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

I’m glad the game at least populates the front row with actual sims. Shoutout to DSLady’s (horribly outfitted, I’m sorry) simself and Fluffy’s wife Takisha for braving the hordes to support our girl!

Whydah: This last one goes out to all my hungry bois who’ve had nothing but maggoty bread for three stinkin’ days… here’s Wig Wig Wag!

And the crowd goes wild.

Whydah: Well, did I do it? Am I a legend now? I feel like a legend.

This would’ve been the perfect moment for it, but alas, nothing is perfect here. That bar is still about 70% full. And the gig is great but not legendary, so she can’t even knock off a little wish.

Whydah: Welp, guess I’m off to the Shadow Realm.

I love that turning a rabbithole partially accessible just completely breaks logic. And that the portal from the street to the stage is quite literally THE VOID.

Darren: Great show, Whydah! Now everyone please vacate the premises or you’ll be stuck in limbo forever!

Fawn: How was your gig, babe?

Whydah: It was great. Turns out my fans are pretty hardcore.

Fawn: Oh really?

Whydah: Yeah. Someone threw an axe onstage. It was wild.

Fawn: Oh my god.

Whydah: Let’s hope I can dodge a midlife crisis like I dodged that axe, am I right?

Fawn: *deep sigh*

Well, of the three birthday girls, only Pearl dodges the dreaded MLC. Whydah at least remains hopelessly devoted, but Fawn…

…I guess she’s been repressing some shit.

I can forgive her for rolling these. I mean, it’s just the game trying to be quirky and unpredictable. I’ve passed up a lot of these wishes and my sims forgot about them two days later.

However, I can’t forgive her for ACTING ON THEM without my permission THE VERY SECOND I let her out of my sight.

Pearl: I like this new pasty thing you have going on. You remind me of a newspaper.

Fawn: And you’re my favourite flavour of sour gummy worm.

Kia: Heads up. I wouldn’t go in the cemetery if I were you.

Whydah: What? Why would you think I was going to the cemetery? It’s not like I hang out there on Friday mornings or anything. Jeez.

Fawn: Look, I finally figured this umbrello thing out!

Pearl: Haha, you’re so cute.

Whydah: What the hell? You don’t get to call her cute.

Fawn: Leave it, Whydah. Pearl can call me whatever she wants.

Well, now you’ve done it.

Whydah: *dissociates*

Kia: I told you not to go in the graveyard!

Pearl: On a Friday morning? Chyeah, that was a lost cause.

Kia: Don’t even speak to me.

Pearl: Whoops.

I’m not gonna say we should’ve seen this coming, but…

I suppose there was some risk in marrying Miss Too-Good-to-Be-True.

And suddenly, we’re down to one functional couple in the household. What’s the secret to a happy marriage, guys?

Amy: Shhhhh, we’re learning how to make beef wellington.

Fawn: No seriously, how do you do it?

Amy: Well, not flirting with his sister helps.

Fawn: Can you be more specific?

I needed a win today, and this may be it—looks like my greenhouse trick worked!

(This is Mika’s wish, just to clarify/set your mind at ease.)

I drop everything to fulfill it, only for them to awkwardly float five metres apart and not even attempt interaction in or out of the pool.

Kau: I feel nothing.

Mika: Less than nothing.

You two are the biggest disappointment of all.

Poor spurned Kia is wandering the lot without a bed to sleep in (on account of hating her wife) when middle age takes her, too. In the graveyard of all places.

Kia: Hahahahahaha I am so fucking tired

Becky: Oh dear! Are the beds not in order? How can I perform my job more adequately?

I’d say you could give up your own bed, but she’s already taken to stealing it anyway.

As if I didn’t have enough to worry about, Whydah’s steady gigs still aren’t cooperating. And now I’ve lost it and have her busking at Flying V’s, which notoriously NEVER gets customers, so what gives?!

Whydah: ♫ I’m not okay / I’m not okay / I’m not okay ♫

Actually, she was here to audition for a new gig, but then this happened…

Um, okay. She was plenty good enough for you at Level 4 though. Are coffeehouses too hipster for a global superstar, or are ALL my venues broken now??

On that note, this is where things start to spiral out of control. It all starts when I try to repair Pearl and Kia’s marriage and neither of them is having one bit of it.

Kia: How dare you cheat on me!

Pearl: How dare you be mad at me for cheating on you!

Sal: Hey guys, have you tried—

Kia & Pearl: SHUT UP!

And then this happens, and it’s too late.

At least they’re still friends though.

Pearl: My wife just left me…

Kia: That’s rough. There there.

The same day, Whydah gets a reminder that her gig at Hoi Polloi is tonight! Wait, what? Upon closing three hundred notifications, I realize they actually called her day-of to book it, which is ridiculous but also a perfect stroke of luck.

Whydah: ♫ Everybody put up your hands / Say I don’t wanna be in love / I don’t wanna be in love / FEEL THE BEAT NOW / If you got nothing left / Say I don’t wanna be in love / I don’t wanna be in love ♫

Whydah: Are you not entertained?! Am I not a LEGEND?!

And she is this time!! She’s done it! She’s completed the 34th and final LTW of the legacy, and we can FINALLY move on to babies!

Well, RIP that thought. Back we go to the last time I saved!

On my second play through this day, there is no gig. Instead, Whydah caps off a legendary career with two Sing-A-Grams.

Amanda: Wow, it’s an honour to be part of such a monumental occasion!

Whydah: Just take the damn flowers.

The best part is that the pop-up still says “you won’t admit it once you’ve made it big, but you’ve just performed a Sing-A-Gram!”

Amanda: Well, you’ve got to start somewhere!

Whydah: Music is dead.

I know, I know. But you’re soooooooo close!

Of course. Of COURSE, in this corrected timeline, she becomes a Vocal Legend while helping a teenager flirt.

Whydah: ♫ I’ll keep you my dirty little secret (dirty little secret) ♫

Lucia: Wow, I’m flattered but I think you’re a little old for me!

Whydah: Fuck you. Fuck this. Fuck everything.

(Just to make things even less satisfying, I failed to capture the 35,000 she got for her LTW. Those 9,000 points are for a career level wish she locked in.)

But it’s done, folks. Whydah Hellnot is the Hayley Williams of Isla Paradiso. The Amy Lee. The Gerard Way. Idk, I started out writing her as metal but then DSLady compared her to Ebony from My Immortal and the slope into emo intensified.

At least one good thing comes of the Error 12. Pearl and Kia get a second shot at fixing things, and this time I’m determined not to fuck it up.

Kia: How’s it feel to be the sister of a musical sensation?

Pearl: Ugh, don’t ever call me that.

Kia: Do you prefer “dirty lying cheater”?

Pearl: Ouch.

Mika: Oh sorry, am I in the picture? Let me move for you.

Very helpful.

Approximately 50 friendly interactions and 20 romantic ones later, reconciliation has been achieved. One down, one to go.

Meanwhile, Sal’s midlife crisis is ongoing, not that you’d know it. His next wish is a “cut or dye hair”, which I complete with relief—though I can’t resist another nod to Tewl.

Sal: Yo, why do I suddenly feel the urge to be an asshat?

He gives in to that urge, naturally, and inflicts his asshatery on the nearest victim.

Sal: Have you ever tried, you know, not having relationship drama?

Kia: What a great idea. I’ll try harder next time to not get cheated on.

Sal: I guess you should’ve gone for me while you had the chance, huh?

Kia: Still gay, asshole.

Sal: I’m just looking out for you. I’ve heard the Betrayed moodlet takes years off your life.

Kia: Thanks for that fun little factoid.

But our Tewl Nouveau is not the most pressing crisis right now. Whydah’s “betrayed” moodlet is also ticking down, shaving years off her life, threatening the fate of the legacy, etc. I assume its neighbour, “Very Fulfilled”, is the only thing saving her from utter despair.

Whydah: So guess what. I still hate you, but you should be the first to know… I’m a fucking legend.

Fawn: OMG REALLY?!? THAT’S AMA—

Fawn: I mean, that’s pretty cool. Good for you, Whydah.

Guyssssssssss this is pathetic.

Let’s take care of some other business while they sort out their shit.

Kau: What business?

Mika (reading “Baby Incoming” AGAIN): If it’s not grandbabies, I’m not listening.

Nope—it’s real estate! And a shit ton of it. These are all the community lots that we get to sell on our way out of Isla Paradiso.

Did I say “all”? Yeah—here’s the other half. 😀

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I have a paranoid feeling that I’ve left some booty unplundered on one of those islands, and thank goodness I go and check because we missed a whole box of it!

Kau: Booty plundered.

It’s just gems and a wee bit of cash, but every bit counts.

Kau: Do I haaaaaave to sell my islands?

Sorry, bud. Drink it all in while you can.

Kau: *starts gulping sea water*

NOT LIKE THAT YOU IDIOT

I would also like to be completely transparent about another form of last-minute moneymaking. I accidentally discovered that the Climatron Control Unit—a reward worth 40,000 LTH points—retails for 48,000 simoleons. Let’s be real—with all the LTWs done, I have very little use for any of the other rewards. So for the last few weeks, if anyone surpasses 40k in LTH (aside from Kia and Amy, of course) I’ve been purchasing one of these and selling it. :3

It’s boosted us about 250-300 grand. With that and all the real estate we just sold… we went from barely scraping 15 points for net worth to definitely breaking 20.

These guys aren’t even the 1 percent anymore. They’re like the 0.1 percent.

But money can’t buy a happy marriage, and if the Langurds aren’t the poster children for that statement, I don’t know who is. Whydah and Fawn begin the healing process by focusing on what they have in common.

Fawn: My teeth are sharp!

Whydah: What a coincidence! So are mine!

Whydah: I like to drink blood!

Fawn: Whoa, me too!

Whydah: I’d like to inflict bodily harm on you.

Fawn: I’d— wait, what?

Whydah has to pee, so Fawn takes a short break to PLAY WITH FUCKING FIRE.

Fawn: What a thrilling and dangerous game this is.

Kia: She’s not playing anymore, dammit. Right, Pearl? Tell her you’re not playing anymore!

Pearl: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This apple randomly shows up outside the “front door”, and I get all philosophical because in Korean, “apple” and “apology” are homophones and so it’s a common trope, especially in Korean dramas, to apologize by giving someone an apple.

But which of our guilty parties is responsible for leaving this one?

We’ll never know because Rhapsody ate it.

Rhapsody: Did not!

Well it’s gone and you’re standing there, so now it’s canon.

Rhapsody: This legacy has done me so dirty.

Alright, enough with the baby steps. These two are diving back into romance or going up in flames.

Fawn: Can we please try again? I promise I’ll only cheat at party games from now on.

Sal: See? Was that so hard?

No need to be such a smug bastard.

Whydah: I think we can make it work. Besides, Pearl will be dead long before us anyway.

Pearl: Come on now, that’s below the belt!

Like flirting with her wife isn’t? Get out of here.

Fix two marriages, check.

Complete an LTW, check.

Become mega-rich, check.

And all in a day’s work. 😎

Kau: So… what now?

Whydah: Now… ♫ we carry on ♫

---

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. This is crazy. Just one more chapter ‘til it’s all over!

This one kinda killed me to write (especially considering the mess that went down with one of my favourite YouTube channels last week, ugh) so thank you guys for your patience.

The next chapter is officially the last of the legacy, but it’s not the end! I’ll have a few “tying up loose ends” posts, including a final scorecard, a look at Gen. 10 as they grow up, and more!

Stay tuned! And Happy Simming!

-Sam

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