3.7 Al Fresco

Great, now I’m thinking about Italian food. Garlic and tomato and cheese and pasta and ooooooh, isn’t this pretty?

I love love love World Adventures for its scenery. I often get distracted by it and go roaming over the hills, pretending to be a nature photographer while the Langurds starve to death and get in trouble with the locals.

Unfortunately, it’s all wasted on certain people.

3.6 Les Nouveaux Riches

There’s a peculiar frame of mind I need to be in to write these chapters. Considering I just tried to drink a burning candle, mistaking it for tea, I think I’m good to go.

Last time, the Gen. 3 kids came back from university to a laggy, snow-covered Sunset Valley. Our unicorn was tragically stolen by Joanna Rodgers, curse her name. Lance and Tommy made their escape from the household, and the screwball Dax French was caught up in our web forever.

In case you missed my shameless filler post, the Langurds moved camp! I packed up the main household, Tomahawk & Gabby, Lance & Eddy, and my simself, who—go figure—happened to be living with Weston Jolina-Sekemoto, so he came along, too. Everyone else is lost to the abyss.

So here we are in Riverview, ready to start the next generation at last. THANK GOD.

3.5 Mi Casa es su Casa

Wait, wtf? We’re at Chapter 3.5 already?? But that’s like, half the generation gone! We’re supposed to have babies by now KATANA YOU LAZY SHIT

Katana: Babies are hard. I’mma go take a three-day nap so good luck with that legacy thing.

3.2 Gung Ho

gung ho [guhng-hoh] – adj.: extremely enthusiastic and enterprising, sometimes to excess. Adopted by US marines from Chinese Pidgin English.

This is my life lately. Why, only today I am “enterprising” to sew a dress, clean my room, do laundry, write four French assignments, and caption these 100-odd screenshots.

Not only that, but this chapter is so ambitious that the only other apt title would be “Five Birthdays, Three Life-Threatening Experiences, Two Destinies Fulfilled, Two Graduations, Two Kind-of Deaths, a Birth, a Party, an Abandonment, and a Wedding.”

Having read that description, you can probably just skip the chapter. But please don’t. I put my blood and tears into these things.

We begin with a father-daughter trip to China, undertaken by each party with a heavy heart.

Razor: O great spirit of Sim-Fu, grant me the strength to defeat the Abitar without glitching into oblivion.

Katana: Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou— Just kidding, I’m only upset about being outside.

3.1 Terra Incognita

Holy moly, generation three! I’ve been procrastinating writing this because it actually feels like progress. Until I remember that I started this legacy 18 months ago, not to mention I started attempting legacies when I was a preteen. Then it just feels pathetic.

A quick note: Thank you all for voting in the heir poll! In case you missed the mini-post, Katana won. By a landslide. Lance did so poorly I’m tempted to rookie haze her.

Another note: School has returned with a vengeance, but this time my courses are all—would you believe it?—really enjoyable, so it’s gonna be a challenge on more than one level to tear myself away and procrastiblog. Yes, I am kidding myself. I will, of course, be shirking my studies wherever possible. Still, when your prof integrates this video into a lecture in a meaningful way, you can’t not do the readings.

I DIGRESS (as per usual). Time to kick this generation’s ass. But first, a word from our retiring torchbearers…

Arabella: Peace at last! I am so relieved I could just fart sparkles!

Razor: I am honoured to be a part of this manly, manly picture.

Fun fact—I call them “retiring torchbearers” but neither has fulfilled a LTW as of yet, because they are useless because their LTW’s are a bitch and a half. Thus, as sick of them as we may be, they still have some screen time to look forward to.

2.10 There Can Be Only One

Great news! Finals are over and I’m pretty sure I didn’t fail them. In fact, I may have even maintained my straight-A reputation, but that remains to be seen and I don’t want to jinx anything so I’m going to stop talking about grades now and transfer my enthusiasm to whatever the fuck is happening in the screenshot below… a.k.a. motherly affection from Arabella??? Jesus, this is Tewl’s monogamous streak all over again.

Katana: Um, why are you touching me?

Arabella: I heard you were upset about being grounded. So, pip pip cheerio and all that.

Katana: I don’t think that means what you think it does.

2.9 Blood Allies

Sooooo as much as I want to rant about the reasons for my absence, I am literally so busy that I don’t have time to think about things before I write them down (hence that questionable use of “literally”) or else I will never ever get this chapter done until I am old and grey and unable to formulate sentences and UGH here’s a picture to better illustrate my point because university is a goddamn pain goddammit

F my life. So so much.

But then there’s also this stack, sitting exactly at eye level every time I am writing a paper, because Origin was having a sale and HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO RESIST?

2.8 Journey to the Fire Nation

Hell yes, that’s an Avatar reference. My brother has me back in the habit of watching morning cartoons, so I’ve been getting through two episodes on Netflix every day while I eat my dinosaur egg oatmeal.

I’m off to teach kids how to play Quidditch in an hour or so, but we’ll see how much of this I can get through in the meantime.

(My life isn’t always this awesome, I swear.)

Looks like these losers have been living it up pretty good, too. Lots of slacking off and childish games and shit.

Tommy: Dad, we’ve been at this all day. Can I please go to bed now?

Razor: No, son. I must train hard if I wish to be a martial arts master. And, uh, you may have to help me uncrick my neck.

2.7 The Darkling’s Crusade

Is anybody else slightly terrified by this?

‘Cause I know I am. If you’ve read my foreword, you’ll know that I don’t cope too well with these kinds of changes, and neither do my legacies. I tend to get caught between excitement and nostalgia, and then I curl up in a ball of jittery indecision which soon becomes a mushroom cloud of “SCREW IT JUST TAKE MY MONEY.” And let’s be honest here, it’s not like I’m going to finish this thing anytime in the next year. Thus the terrification; I want so badly to finish this legacy but I also know these games will probably be obsolete before I can manage that. So what do?

I guess I should be glad this is the biggest stresser in my life right now. 😛

2.6 Lancelot the Brave

This is coming to you from a retirement village where I am currently hijacking the wi-fi of an unsuspecting elderly couple. Never have I been so proud of myself.

Before I start this update, I thought I’d share some of my adventures in the Land of Distraction. For starters, I had promised myself that I could start building the new legacy house after Chapter Five. The current one, with its artsy glass corridors and towers, was having a lot of routing problems and anyway, it’s just ugly. So I told myself: “Let’s make a nice, simple family home that won’t lag my game or generate foot-tapping vortexes to entrap my sims forever.” With that in mind, I opened up 15 Summer Hill Court in another save file…

…and built a house so elaborate and expensive that it blew the Langurd budget by more than $100,000.

I have a problem.

Anyway, I don’t want to unveil it just yet (too much awesomeness for one chapter, I fear) but I did let my simself take an abbreviated tour, so here are some snippets of that:

Far Inferior Version of Myself: THERE’S A CANNON. WHY IS THERE A CANNON?

In case Gurbin comes back, obviously. But never mind that! Step inside the newest Casa de Langurd, featuring…