Blog Archives

4.14 Sing Me to Sleep

^  ^ Hopefully this post doesn’t do anything of the sort.

But hey, just in case, I take no responsibility for any drool damage to your keyboards.

Last time, Death struck the Langurd house twice in as many hours, leaving Boa and Weston wifeless. It was a rough blow for both of the men, but apparently I’m starting this chapter with Lira because I have no sympathy.

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Lira: Rockabye baby, in the spaceship…

Nice try — there’s no wind in space.

Gumby: Heehee, you said “wind”!

And you’d best enjoy it while you can, little buddy…

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4.12 My Baby All Gone

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Lt. Surge: Greetings, scum. As the master of this household, I have taken over narration duties for the time being. The coup was easy; Sam is a creature of very little willpower, known to melt in the presence of cats. She lets us sleep in her clean laundry and chew on her headphone cords because she doesn’t have the heart to tell us no. All I had to do was sit up here and make this face, and she immediately bumped my picture to the top of the chapter. Pathetic.

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4.11 I Am Mrs. Nesbitt

You know how when people live together, their cycles sync up? Apparently, I’ve been “living” with the Langurds for too long, because I’m experiencing a severe case of simulative synchrony. (Why yes, I coined that term myself just now.)

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Just like Boa, Lira, and the rest, your Director of Shenanigans is now officially a Gryffindor graduate! Discovery: the door clusterfuck is a myth. In fact, the whole process was highly streamlined and efficient and the worst nightmare of a socially awkward person. Why am I telling you guys this? I’m pretty sure 80% of my readership is older and more life-experienced than I am. Which is an interesting story, but seeing as I haven’t finished this one…

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4.7 Come on Barbie, Let’s Go Party

Now that we’re acquainted with the new house, let the breaking-in commence! Or more likely just the breaking.

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Weston: Gilded wainscoting, crystal chandeliers, solid gold bathtubs… This place must have cost us approximately—

A shit ton, yes, thank you Mr. Frugal. Maybe don’t check out Lira’s room because it contains $6600 worth of curtains. XD

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4.3 Bake Your Cake and Eat It Too

Hello again! Can I just say how glad I am that people are still reading thing? Otherwise, I’d have no one to address these introductions to, and I’d have to be all impersonal and start every chapter with “Dear Diary, here is what I accomplished today while I sat on my butt.” And no one would be there to judge my failures, so I would have absolutely no standards… Oh, right.

Last time, Katana completed her LTW, Drachma became a cat lady, Florin showed up like twice, and everyone was really sad about Dax for some reason. I don’t expect we’ll be nearly so productive today, but here goes anyhow!

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Aww look, it’s family meal time! Appropriately, Florin the half-sibling is only half in the shot.

Weston: Well, girls, I daresay I’ve got the hang of this Langurd Life.

Drachma: Not until you’ve mastered Lev’s technique.

Lev: The trick is not to differentiate between the openings on your face.

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4.1 Come Play with Me

Long ago some words were said:

“I’ll finish a legacy ‘fore I’m dead!”

And this one here was going well

Until it all just went to hell

Because you see I’m really lazy

And I can’t think of a rhyme for that so the poem is over now.

*   *   *

So yeah… remember that thing about getting to Generation Six before the end of the year?

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Happy 2015! This gal is nowhere near her winter years.

Lira: What are you talking about? Now that I’m in charge, all the years are winter!

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3.10 Deus Ex Machina

Can I publish two chapters in one day? Probably not. No, definitely not. But this site is nearing its second birthday, and TS4 is slated to come out way too soon, and look at how not-far we’ve come.

So I’m setting a goal for myself as of right now. The Langurds are going to birth their 6th generation before the year is out. Is that even remotely possible? Probably not. No, definitely not. But it should at least spur me into action.

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How many “lonely Razor in a lonely bed” pictures can I get away with posting? The answer is many, because it never gets less sad. This one, however, comes with a different sentiment. After a quick trip to the Sim Bin and back, the Langurds can sleep in their beds again! Hallelujah, and good riddance to Glitchhilda.

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3.9 Folie à Deux

Bonjour à tous!

And holy schmagoly, guys, could you be any more awesome? Last week, I tried to quit coffee and it was a real bad time. But I also got an army of simselves and a gargantuan legacy reading list, so that was cool. It seems you were all churning out some fantastic stuff while I was off in my struggle bubble, just trying to pull a chapter together. Now I’m racing to catch up so I can participate in heir polls and stuff, like a clueless citizen reading up on politics the night before an election. Oh wait, that’s also me.

I hope you’ll forgive me if the simselves don’t show up for a few chapters yet. I currently have a screenshot backlog of 2000 or so, meaning these pictures are like ten months old, and I haven’t opened the game in about as long. And I wonder why my captioning is so shoddy.

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We return now to the House of the Elements, where I can say with certainty (and lots of gusto) that WINTER IS COMING! Danger lurks beyond the Wall and oops, Razor’s plants went dormant so I figured out how to grow stuff inside. It only took me twenty minutes.

Razor: It is clearly labelled “planter bowl.” How hard could it be?

REALLY HARD SHUT UP. #12yearsan00b

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3.8 Schadenfreude

“Progress will continue” <— Hahaha. I love shooting myself in the foot, don’t I?

Has it been long enough for a recap? Oh, probably, but I’m too lazy to open a browser, so here’s my best estimate: after an underwhelming trip out of the country, Katana was sarcastic, Dax was a doormat, Azula was aggravatingly picturesque, Razabella were invisible (until one of them died), and the chapter culminated in the birth of a child. Come to think of it, that’s pretty much the formula for Chapters 7-9. Are you excited??

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Oh, come on. I send you to France to get married and this is how you react?

Katana: The open air. It hurts my lungs.

And Dax over there?

Katana: I think he’s choking on a piece of cobblestone.

Brilliant. Also, I’m loving how Katana’s shadow is just a walking pair of pants.

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3.7 Al Fresco

Great, now I’m thinking about Italian food. Garlic and tomato and cheese and pasta and ooooooh, isn’t this pretty?

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I love love love World Adventures for its scenery. I often get distracted by it and go roaming over the hills, pretending to be a nature photographer while the Langurds starve to death and get in trouble with the locals.

Unfortunately, it’s all wasted on certain people.

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