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2.4 Romeo’s Quest

Hey, people! So I’m super stoked right now because I earned $20 digging up dead saplings for my mom and I’m using it as an excuse to go by Supernatural. I know, I know — I’m pathetically behind on expansions. It’s because I have this nasty habit of throwing money out the door, and I’ve been trying to kick that habit in the last year or so. That means no “unnecessary purchases” allowed. Apparently these things fall into that category, which is dumb. I want houseboats and skating rinks and university. 😦

(I’m 20, guys. I know sometimes it sounds as if I’m 12.)

Anyway, my morals are waging war on each other because I’m so tempted to just give in and buy the four EPs I’m missing, but it’s a lot of money to spend all at once, especially since I recently quit my part-time job. Which ones are worth it if I just want to spice up my game? If anybody has advice, feel free to lend it!

Also feel free to lend me $25, because I just made the mistake of finding this gem online:

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Goddammit, why am I not a millionaire?

Right. Back to business.

When we last saw these guys, the last of the kids aged up into young adults and I sent them on a celebratory “last hurrah” vacation to China. Razor discovered the martial arts, Keg whined like a broken dishwasher to Billy Ray Cyrus, and Rotter found Gorgeous Foreign Woman 2.0 after a severe head trauma. Upon their return, a catastrophic succession of “accuse of cheating”s left everyone’s love life in a mess. Let’s see how they’re faring today.

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1.6 Identitee Crysus

Aaaaaand we’re back again. Last time, Tewl acquired a new bro who is a girl, cheated on the woman he was cheating with, and sent Christopher’s girlfriend into labour by making out with her. Confused yet? So am I. God, I hate my founder. Still, let us dive back into the chaos…

After Cesar’s birth, Tewl accompanies Tamara back to her place to be the supportive male figure she no doubt needs in this vulnerable time.

Tewl: How’s dat feel, babe?

Tamara: Not bad, actually. Thank god I don’t have to deal with Christopher’s “massage” at a time like this.

Tewl: Yeah man, Christopher sucks.

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1.5 Da Betrayull

We’re being super realistic apparently, because wow it’s taken me forever to write this chapter. Realism sucks.

This is the second last post I need to publish before I’m caught up with my overzealous gameplay aszxdcfvghnjmkl (sorry, had to wipe some grease off of my keyboard) and I’m basically racing to be done with it so I can get back to the fun part. Not that I don’t enjoy the writing, but there’s some exciting stuff coming up and I promised myself I wouldn’t play through it until I’d captioned everything I have so far. Self-discipline is a bitch.

Anyway, less about me and more about this pair of idiots!

Whose bromance has reached such a level that they now have synchronized dreams.

Tewl: A toxic sludge monster! Quick, kill it wif fire!

Chris: I’m on it! Take tha— oh, it got me with its tentacles. 😦

Tewl: Noob.

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