4.12 My Baby All Gone

Lt. Surge: Greetings, scum. As the master of this household, I have taken over narration duties for the time being. The coup was easy; Sam is a creature of very little willpower, known to melt in the presence of cats. She lets us sleep in her clean laundry and chew on her headphone cords because she doesn’t have the heart to tell us no. All I had to do was sit up here and make this face, and she immediately bumped my picture to the top of the chapter. Pathetic.

4.11 I Am Mrs. Nesbitt

You know how when people live together, their cycles sync up? Apparently, I’ve been “living” with the Langurds for too long, because I’m experiencing a severe case of simulative synchrony. (Why yes, I coined that term myself just now.)

Just like Boa, Lira, and the rest, your Director of Shenanigans is now officially a Gryffindor graduate! Discovery: the door clusterfuck is a myth. In fact, the whole process was highly streamlined and efficient and the worst nightmare of a socially awkward person. Why am I telling you guys this? I’m pretty sure 80% of my readership is older and more life-experienced than I am. Which is an interesting story, but seeing as I haven’t finished this one…

4.10 It Always Comes Back to You

Alternative title: Everything Goes to Shit.

Let me warn you in advance, this is going to be a long’un. Remember how I said “there’s a baby next chapter, I’m 85% sure of it”? Well, I grossly miscalculated and lied and misrepresented and I’m pretty sure at least one of those is a felony so arrest me plz, I deserve it. On the bright side, I’m endeavouring to annihilate the rest of the university screenshots in one fell swoop — or rather, one really drawn-out chapter.

Ugh I am so done with this.

I mean, uh, this is gonna be really exciting! Please don’t leave 😀

Let’s start with this concerning scene. Either Malissa got hired by Umbridge and is tailing her husband to a DA meeting, or…

Malissa: I’m following the trail of sparkles! Weeeee!

Just as I thought – guiding his impaired wife safely home like a dutiful husband. Their relationship is much more functional than it appears.

4.7 Come on Barbie, Let’s Go Party

Now that we’re acquainted with the new house, let the breaking-in commence! Or more likely just the breaking.

Weston: Gilded wainscoting, crystal chandeliers, solid gold bathtubs… This place must have cost us approximately—

A shit ton, yes, thank you Mr. Frugal. Maybe don’t check out Lira’s room because it contains $6600 worth of curtains. XD

4.1 Come Play with Me

Long ago some words were said:

“I’ll finish a legacy ‘fore I’m dead!”

And this one here was going well

Until it all just went to hell

Because you see I’m really lazy

And I can’t think of a rhyme for that so the poem is over now.

*   *   *

So yeah… remember that thing about getting to Generation Six before the end of the year?

Happy 2015! This gal is nowhere near her winter years.

Lira: What are you talking about? Now that I’m in charge, all the years are winter!

3.7 Al Fresco

Great, now I’m thinking about Italian food. Garlic and tomato and cheese and pasta and ooooooh, isn’t this pretty?

I love love love World Adventures for its scenery. I often get distracted by it and go roaming over the hills, pretending to be a nature photographer while the Langurds starve to death and get in trouble with the locals.

Unfortunately, it’s all wasted on certain people.

3.5 Mi Casa es su Casa

Wait, wtf? We’re at Chapter 3.5 already?? But that’s like, half the generation gone! We’re supposed to have babies by now KATANA YOU LAZY SHIT

Katana: Babies are hard. I’mma go take a three-day nap so good luck with that legacy thing.

3.4 Au Naturel

Ah, college life. You know that end-of-the-semester feeling when nothing matters and you decide to stick it out and live through the mess, and you think “Next year, NEXT YEAR I’m turning over a new leaf goddammit”?

3.3 Aficionados

And with that I am DONE my third year of university.

Just in time for the Langurds to start their first. Dammit.

To be honest, judging by what I’d heard of the EP, I expected university to be a gigantic disappointment. Much to my surprise, it wasn’t. It didn’t meet my expectations of not having my expectations met. How does that work?

Go away, Exam Brain.

ONWARD, to move-in day!