6.7 Boulevard of Broken Dreams

And we’re off! Welcome to the first leg of a seven-day spirit journey. I hope you’re ready to feel closer to the Langurds than ever before (hey you in the back, I saw you swallow your vomit just now). Regrets? Absolutely not. Maybe a couple. Or twelve. Who am I kidding, guys? I’m in way over my head.

Our last instalment featured a disastrous bachelor party, a lacklustre wedding, and the birth of a Gen. 7 burrito, but not at all in that order. Don’t get me wrong—Cal and Quinn are totally traditional people who follow all the proper steps toward a conventional marriage.

Case in point—a timeless wedding ritual.

Cal: Is the cake good?

Quinn: WE MUST KNOW IF THE CAKE IS GOOD.

Skydancer: If I say no, does that doom you guys to infertility or something?

6.6 Rockabye Baby

If that title doesn’t tell you we’re getting to the good stuff, then let me tell you right now—we’re getting to the good stuff!

Last time, Gumby finally died but Frieda’s Gold Digger LTW still registered as incomplete. Shit was lost; tables were very nearly flipped. Now we take deep breaths and try to figure out the meaning of this.

Frieda: Yes hello, I’d like to request a refund on my life.