4.10 It Always Comes Back to You

Alternative title: Everything Goes to Shit.

Let me warn you in advance, this is going to be a long’un. Remember how I said “there’s a baby next chapter, I’m 85% sure of it”? Well, I grossly miscalculated and lied and misrepresented and I’m pretty sure at least one of those is a felony so arrest me plz, I deserve it. On the bright side, I’m endeavouring to annihilate the rest of the university screenshots in one fell swoop — or rather, one really drawn-out chapter.

Ugh I am so done with this.

I mean, uh, this is gonna be really exciting! Please don’t leave 😀

Let’s start with this concerning scene. Either Malissa got hired by Umbridge and is tailing her husband to a DA meeting, or…

Malissa: I’m following the trail of sparkles! Weeeee!

Just as I thought – guiding his impaired wife safely home like a dutiful husband. Their relationship is much more functional than it appears.

4.9 I Love You, You Love Me, We’re a Happy Family

Isn’t that the most accurate description of the Langurds you’ve ever heard?

For the record, if I get this chapter out by Tuesday, I’ll have done seven posts in two weeks. That might just qualify as a miracle.

Where were we? Oh yeah, still at university. For this whole chapter and like half of the next one. I’m sorry, but it can’t be helped when our bright young minds are keeping so busy!

Prof. Richards: You see, a corporation is like a colony of honeybees! Everyone has a task to do, but in the end you’ll just die among the flowers or with your butt stuck in the arm of a pesky human.

I can smell the sarcasm.

4.3 Bake Your Cake and Eat It Too

Hello again! Can I just say how glad I am that people are still reading thing? Otherwise, I’d have no one to address these introductions to, and I’d have to be all impersonal and start every chapter with “Dear Diary, here is what I accomplished today while I sat on my butt.” And no one would be there to judge my failures, so I would have absolutely no standards… Oh, right.

Last time, Katana completed her LTW, Drachma became a cat lady, Florin showed up like twice, and everyone was really sad about Dax for some reason. I don’t expect we’ll be nearly so productive today, but here goes anyhow!

Aww look, it’s family meal time! Appropriately, Florin the half-sibling is only half in the shot.

Weston: Well, girls, I daresay I’ve got the hang of this Langurd Life.

Drachma: Not until you’ve mastered Lev’s technique.

Lev: The trick is not to differentiate between the openings on your face.

1.15 Waffulmageddun

Guysguysguys guess what? This is the second last chapter I have to write before Gen. One is over! Well, probably. I might tie up some loose ends later, but it’s been for-freaking-ever since I opened the game file, so really, I have no idea where I’m at. In true Langurd style, we’ve been trudging along blindly for the last three or four chapters. Ain’t that comforting?

Looking back on it, last chapter was pretty ADHD. I could probably have cut 70% of the screenshots without taking away any value. In the parts that mattered, the family became $4,000 richer with the ethically questionable Collection Helper (although I maintain that it was not cheating), the triplets grew up into stylin’ personas that sound like Hallowe’en costumes, and we collectively agreed that the House of Langurd does not bode well with nature. On that note…

Rotter: Right. Now where would I find a mouse ‘round here?

Oh, I don’t know. Somewhere between the central processing boulder and the Blu-Ray tree?

Rotter: Awesum! I’mma check dere!

N00b.