So. That was a fun week, right?
No, I didn’t think so. I would like to start off with an apology for leading this expedition to the pits of hell. Even if you aren’t as invested as I am, I’m sure I dragged you through my own anguish with those interim posts.
So please, get yourself a cup of tea, take a bubblebath, or try out my favourite guided meditation. You’ve earned it. Maybe wait until the end of this post, though, because it’s a bit of a stresser in itself.
Alright, comments have been replied to and real world has been confronted (crying over my lack of money counts, right?) so I guess it’s time to post this thing. I’m genuinely terrified, not because there’s anyone I would particularly hate to play but because I’ve never gone into one of these so uncertain of the result. No matter who wins, I’ll be ecstatic that I get to tell their story but also heartbroken that I don’t get to tell the other two. But Gryffindork, you like all three of them so there’s no way you can los— NO GUYS, THIS IS A SERIOUS CRISIS AND I LIKE BEING DRAMATIC.
On that note, for the first time EVAR in Langurd History (woooo fanfare) I’ve decided to picture the heir candidates with their intended spouses, traits and all. Note that LTW’s are irrelevant for now; only Dusty and Delilah have them locked in, and I’ll likely end up changing theirs if they have the points.
Without further ado, here are your choices:
What we’ll see from them:
I picture Kip running a hipster food blog and Jada being an online fitness guru. Visionary? Culinary Librarian? I suspect these two care less about what they do than how good they look doing it. A home stylist business is also a possibility—as is our first monogamous heiress, because let’s face it, these two promise a ton of variety.
What we’ll see from them:
This couple screams university to me. After that, maybe some fun new careers—Delilah wants to be a stylist right now, and I can see Trance as an actor or a cop. Their kids will look weird af and I’m okay with that. Oh, and get ready for a lot more Majestic Swan Trance if I have anything to do with it (which—barring any blog hijackings—I will).
What we’ll see from them:
Star-crossed lovers getting to the bottom of the Quinnspiracy. I have half a mind to throw Dusty in Criminal just to make him more conflicted (elsewise keep him in military because that seems to fit). Siesta will probs do a future-related LTW and have the obligatory daddy issues storyline. Plumbots? Puppies? This pair is a bit of a wildcard tbh.
Kip: Slob, Hates the Outdoors, Adventurous, Photographer’s Eye / Jada: Insane, Athletic, Light Sleeper, Mean-Spirited
Trance: Absent-Minded, Light Sleeper, Daredevil, Schmoozer / Delilah: Disciplined, Clumsy, Never Nude, Friendly
Siesta: Party Animal, Loves the Heat, Bot Fan, Animal Lover / Dusty: Loner, Clumsy, Frugal, Easily Impressed, Kleptomaniac
Poll will be open for 7 days from today unless I decide to extend it!
But not in a bad way! Sorry if my choice of title alarmed anyone. I see now that it could have been misconstrued. XD
What I mean to say is that the tiebreaker poll, which curiously got more votes than the original despite running for about half as long, has closed. This time, the result was clear…
I’m barely awake enough to keep my fingers on the keyboard, so the pictures will have to speak for themselves. They can do that for me, after all the work I put into them.
Oh, don’t mind the missing favourites. My notes were spectacularly shoddy this generation, so I don’t have a lot of this stuff written down. But it’s not like you’re picking an heir based on their favourite food, right?
Well, your four days are up! If you still haven’t voted, no pie for you. To those who did vote, thank you! You can expect your pie in the mail in about two weeks’ time. Sadly, the Canadian postal system sucks so by the time you get it, it may look a little bit like this one…
Blue and moldy and disgusting.
I know who I want, but do you know who you want? You’d better decide quickly, since you have to vote at the end of this post!
Here are some really lame bios to help you out.
Alter ego: George of the Jungle
Life State: Human
Traits: Absent-Minded, Athletic, Daredevil, Neat, Workaholic.
LTW: Master Acrobat
After four gruelling days of polling, here are the results
I’ve you’ve been waiting for…
Would you look at that! Florin didn’t come last. That deserves a post unto itself.
It’s time to choose an heir and I don’t waaannnnaaaa
Please do it for me
See how useless I am I can’t even punctuate anymore
*Well, not any card. You should probably use, like, a little bit of discretion.
Yeah right, like anybody in this legacy is getting an Oscar.
But if the show must go on, then the tribe has spoken…
Katana: Enough with the clichés.
Sooo it looks like that Christmas special I mentioned isn’t going to happen. After installing three new EP’s and facing a horde of compatibility issues, I pretty much just want to get on with this thing. With that in mind, I’ve decided to be spontaneous and post an heir poll. I am completely undecided on this issue, so the pressure’s on you guys now. 😉
Here are your lovely candidates: