2.9 Blood Allies

Sooooo as much as I want to rant about the reasons for my absence, I am literally so busy that I don’t have time to think about things before I write them down (hence that questionable use of “literally”) or else I will never ever get this chapter done until I am old and grey and unable to formulate sentences and UGH here’s a picture to better illustrate my point because university is a goddamn pain goddammit

F my life. So so much.

But then there’s also this stack, sitting exactly at eye level every time I am writing a paper, because Origin was having a sale and HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO RESIST?

2.4 Romeo’s Quest

Hey, people! So I’m super stoked right now because I earned $20 digging up dead saplings for my mom and I’m using it as an excuse to go by Supernatural. I know, I know — I’m pathetically behind on expansions. It’s because I have this nasty habit of throwing money out the door, and I’ve been trying to kick that habit in the last year or so. That means no “unnecessary purchases” allowed. Apparently these things fall into that category, which is dumb. I want houseboats and skating rinks and university. 😦

(I’m 20, guys. I know sometimes it sounds as if I’m 12.)

Anyway, my morals are waging war on each other because I’m so tempted to just give in and buy the four EPs I’m missing, but it’s a lot of money to spend all at once, especially since I recently quit my part-time job. Which ones are worth it if I just want to spice up my game? If anybody has advice, feel free to lend it!

Also feel free to lend me $25, because I just made the mistake of finding this gem online:

Goddammit, why am I not a millionaire?

Right. Back to business.

When we last saw these guys, the last of the kids aged up into young adults and I sent them on a celebratory “last hurrah” vacation to China. Razor discovered the martial arts, Keg whined like a broken dishwasher to Billy Ray Cyrus, and Rotter found Gorgeous Foreign Woman 2.0 after a severe head trauma. Upon their return, a catastrophic succession of “accuse of cheating”s left everyone’s love life in a mess. Let’s see how they’re faring today.

1.11 Goin’ Nowhurr Fast

Hi guys! So… I caved and bought Showtime today. My brother dragged me out to Walmart for free My Little Pony posters, and it was sitting there all temptingly on the shelf in its sparkly blue case. I like cases—they look pretty on my shelves. I’ve been trying to save money but I just don’t think I can live this way. I’m dying to install it now, but I figure I should get through the rest of this captioning first so here I am SLAVING AWAY over pretty pictures like the good little Simmer I am. Are you proud of me? …No? Fine then. I’ll hand things over to Tewl and Morgana, your favourite people in the whole wide world!

Morgana: Why don’t YOU do the chapter recap, since you’re such an asshole?

Tewl: Derrr, me? I wouldn’t know what ta say…

Morgana: How about you cheated on me with fucking Pauline Wan and I found out about it from our two-year-old daughter, whom you took as a wingman on your first date?

Tewl: Ya, I guess dat is kinda true.

Morgana: Forget it, I’m done with your crap! You’re a scumbag twat and this legacy is STUPID!

Ohhhhkay. Remind me never to let you guys introduce another chapter.