7.19 Site is frozen

And so we go where no Langurd has gone before—and probably much, much farther, but let’s take this one chapter at a time.

Previously, Tonu became a teen. I don’t remember his new trait, nor is it particularly relevant thanks to the constant fuckery of Unstable.

The only thing I can be sure of is that he definitely has a crush on Butler June.

Tonu: I’m a turtle eating waffles.

June: That’s nice. I’m a butler eating cake.

Jeez Kau, what’s got your suspenders in a knot?

Kau: I just found out there are at least TWO empty beds in this house.

And?

Kau: …and I’m SO happy to keep sleeping in my roof tent even though it’s winter. I love it SO MUCH.

7.17 Multiple Choices

Why hello! As promised, I’m doing my darnedest to keep this ball rolling. I may have bitten off more than I can chew with this chapter. With that in mind, I will not waste time trying to think of a cool intro, and I will simply say:

Welcome back to the House of Langurd!

But wait… that’s not our house?!

Acara: I’m at a homework party.

It’s just you at a desk…

7.14 Insufficient Storage

Would you look at that! Here we are in the final stretch of SimNano, and here’s Gryffindork of all people embarking on her last update with a whole week to spare! I’ve actually reached my personal goals already for wordcount and pictures, so I could theoretically put nothing in this post and still make quota. However, that would be kinda shitting on the honour system, not to mention ignoring the fact that I still have THOUSANDS of screenshots to plough through even after the month is out.

Still, I could totally make this a skimpy one—INSTEAD, I have chosen to tackle the most eventful chapter of the entire generation so HAHA yay me!

Siesta: Eventful? No thanks. We’re not fans of “eventful.”

Dusty: Yeah, no events please.

7.10 Early Hints

Dude, how’d we get to Chapter 10 with no babies? The last time we dawdled this much was in Gen. 4, when the gang was still in university. “The gang” included Lev, which surely can’t be a coincidence. And remember how she graduated first but didn’t actually get a degree? And how she never completed her LTW either? Yeesh.

#LevLangurdIsOverParty amirite?

And then there was Gen.2, which was only 10 chapters long in total. A simpler time. D:

I sure hope we can come up with better candidates…

Anyway, I seem to be forgetting that I kept Kip and Trance around because I LIKED them, so I’ll try to give their remaining appearances less of a “gtfo already” vibe. Dustiesta’s offspring will flood grace the homestead soon enough.

Duke: Excuse me, what do you mean “no babies”? I am a baby!

Siesta: Me too! Feed me!

Trance: I thirst. Am gromp.

Delilah: Is this the Gen. 8 heir poll?

I sure hope we can come up with better candidates…

7.9 Checkpoint

Well well well, look what the cat dragged in.

Oh no, my friend. It is not.

It was already gonna be awkward coming back to this in a new year, in a new decade, after an atrociously unproductive 2019 – but there’s a cruel irony in the fact that I must now return to you in a WHOLE NEW WORLD, minus the magic of Aladdin because air travel is cancelled and carpets don’t lend themselves to social distancing or germ prevention.

A world where everything sucks but at the very least gamerkind should be thriving, right?

And now the Langurds, asleep for the better part of a year, must awaken to this strange place where handshakes will never exist again but murder hornets will take over and for some reason everyone is baking bread all the time?

Siesta: ADSGFJALEFIETJPOA;JEGHW239PFOWEJSDV

Same.

7.8 This is fine

‘Sup dudes? I just discovered a whole folder of Story Progression/UI screencaps I’ve been forgetting to use. Just think of all that peripheral information going to waste… What is going on in the wide world? Did I even tell you Jada, Delilah, Dusty, Riza, or Duke’s traits? Probably not.

I subsequently discovered that the folder STOPS about two chapters from now and I have NO idea where the rest of it is. Maybe still on my computer in Canada, which is unplugged and wrapped in a garbage bag. Maybe on the flash drive I left at orientation in the Korean boonies. And do I remember any of Siesta’s kids’ traits? LOL absolutely not.

However, I have a day of cancelled classes (lucky 5th graders just left for camp), I’m equipped with snacks, and the school network is down. That leaves me no choice but to ignore all crises and trudge blindly ahead.

Besides, how could I rain on Dustiesta’s parade?

Dusty: I did it! I stuck it to my parents!

Siesta: Really?

Dusty: Well, no. But I did ask Derrick for a divorce.

Siesta: Oh. Well, baby steps.

7.6 Upgrade Required

Happy New Year! And a joyous farewell to 2018, the most desolate year on the Blog of Langurd: home to nine posts, only two-thirds of which were actual updates. Oh my.

This is the year 3019, and revolution is upon us. Fingers will fly across keyboards, updates will churn, comments will be replied to, and babies will be born.

I may just end up half-assing my way to the good stuff because these screenshots are stale enough to break a tooth on.

And Trelilah’s relationship is growing seven kinds of toxic mold, but that doesn’t stop me trying to salvage it.

Delilah: Let me just get this straight. You, Trance Langurd, are admitting your idiotic mistakes and begging for forgiveness.

Trance: Indeed… I think I am.

Delilah: Could you say it one more time so I know I’m not losing it?

Trance: I, Trance Langurd, have behaved like human trash. Can you find it in your heart to take back an unworthy imbecile?

Delilah: Depends. Can I get that in writing?

7.5 Temporary Redirect

BREAKING NEWS: Gryffindork utterly tanks SimNoWriMo for a third year running, much to the surprise of no one

To be fair, I did NOT see October coming. The other day my poor coworker had to convince me that it’s not “almost fall” anymore, it actually is fall. Who knew?

THIS JUST IN: Actually publishing post in mid-December, has nothing to say for self

So anyway, here’s what was going to be Update #2, and is now just a plain old chapter in the middle of all the other ones. With a two month gap to boot.

*drumroll*

Hello, and welcome to the part of this generation where I get far too invested in my spares and lose sight of the legacy’s ultimate goal!

Why? Because if Story Progression had its way, it would only have them become sad, celibate mimes.

It’s only fair that Kip and Trance get their day in the sun, so I took them and their other halves to the sunniest place I could think of!

 

Let’s appreciate how the newcomers are like “WOW A VACATION WE ARE SO BLESSED” while my actual legacy kids couldn’t give a shit.

Kip: I would feel more blessed if you hadn’t done this 3000 times before.

And how would YOU know that?

Trance: I’ve seen our basement. Is there anything left in the tombs?

7.0 Quinnspiracy Decoded: A Prologue

You guys voted for this star-crossed lovers business, and honour compels me to deliver on my promises in the fullest way possible. Which means—you guessed it—the Langurds are about to enter that shadowy, foreboding territory we call PLOT.

Don’t worry—Siesta’s generation will be played and written as much by the seat of my pants as the others have been. It’s just that after playing detective so many times in Gen. 6, I felt it would be helpful to put all of my “COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT” moments in one place.

So please humour me as I don my Halloween-store trench coat and cap, and attempt to mash together disjointed happenings into a wad that can conceivably be called “evidence.”

*ahem*

Without further ado, let us open the case!

5.9 Well-Preserved Ruins

Let us begin this chapter with the Greatest Tragedy of Them All™.

I’m talking about the fact that the game thinks he has children. And family. And friends.

I’m sorry, I bet you’re all crying now. Things can only go up from here, right?

Buzz (writing): A gentle snow falls like bullets on my metal joints. I see her up in the distance, walking away from me. Then I realize it is just my shattered heart playing tricks on my weary mind.