3.5 Mi Casa es su Casa

Wait, wtf? We’re at Chapter 3.5 already?? But that’s like, half the generation gone! We’re supposed to have babies by now KATANA YOU LAZY SHIT

Katana: Babies are hard. I’mma go take a three-day nap so good luck with that legacy thing.

2.9 Blood Allies

Sooooo as much as I want to rant about the reasons for my absence, I am literally so busy that I don’t have time to think about things before I write them down (hence that questionable use of “literally”) or else I will never ever get this chapter done until I am old and grey and unable to formulate sentences and UGH here’s a picture to better illustrate my point because university is a goddamn pain goddammit

F my life. So so much.

But then there’s also this stack, sitting exactly at eye level every time I am writing a paper, because Origin was having a sale and HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO RESIST?

2.8 Journey to the Fire Nation

Hell yes, that’s an Avatar reference. My brother has me back in the habit of watching morning cartoons, so I’ve been getting through two episodes on Netflix every day while I eat my dinosaur egg oatmeal.

I’m off to teach kids how to play Quidditch in an hour or so, but we’ll see how much of this I can get through in the meantime.

(My life isn’t always this awesome, I swear.)

Looks like these losers have been living it up pretty good, too. Lots of slacking off and childish games and shit.

Tommy: Dad, we’ve been at this all day. Can I please go to bed now?

Razor: No, son. I must train hard if I wish to be a martial arts master. And, uh, you may have to help me uncrick my neck.

2.7 The Darkling’s Crusade

Is anybody else slightly terrified by this?

‘Cause I know I am. If you’ve read my foreword, you’ll know that I don’t cope too well with these kinds of changes, and neither do my legacies. I tend to get caught between excitement and nostalgia, and then I curl up in a ball of jittery indecision which soon becomes a mushroom cloud of “SCREW IT JUST TAKE MY MONEY.” And let’s be honest here, it’s not like I’m going to finish this thing anytime in the next year. Thus the terrification; I want so badly to finish this legacy but I also know these games will probably be obsolete before I can manage that. So what do?

I guess I should be glad this is the biggest stresser in my life right now. 😛

2.6 Lancelot the Brave

This is coming to you from a retirement village where I am currently hijacking the wi-fi of an unsuspecting elderly couple. Never have I been so proud of myself.

Before I start this update, I thought I’d share some of my adventures in the Land of Distraction. For starters, I had promised myself that I could start building the new legacy house after Chapter Five. The current one, with its artsy glass corridors and towers, was having a lot of routing problems and anyway, it’s just ugly. So I told myself: “Let’s make a nice, simple family home that won’t lag my game or generate foot-tapping vortexes to entrap my sims forever.” With that in mind, I opened up 15 Summer Hill Court in another save file…

…and built a house so elaborate and expensive that it blew the Langurd budget by more than $100,000.

I have a problem.

Anyway, I don’t want to unveil it just yet (too much awesomeness for one chapter, I fear) but I did let my simself take an abbreviated tour, so here are some snippets of that:

Far Inferior Version of Myself: THERE’S A CANNON. WHY IS THERE A CANNON?

In case Gurbin comes back, obviously. But never mind that! Step inside the newest Casa de Langurd, featuring…