Buckle ur seatbelts kiddos for u r about to read the most half-assed Langurd chapter ever written. I am so over Generation Five.
What’s that? Hold on a sec…
What do you mean this is my 100th post?! You mean I actually have to TRY? I’m not ready for this, dammit! I’m drinking mocha with Bailey’s and watching Project Runway out of my left eye!
Maybe that’s fitting, given that multitasking is the theme of this generation. And it’s been a successful theme if I may say so myself—all of the kids are (oxy)moronic in their own ways, but no one emblemizes the Age of Contradictions quite like Crash does. Athletic and a Genius, non-verbal and a total loose cannon… Oh, and his teen look may be based on this shit disturber:
I know I said Sim Salad was next on the agenda, but it’s Valentine’s Day, and on Valentine’s Day you should be with the people you love.
Lol jk, only using them to cure my writer’s block.
Now where did we leave off last time? Nothing important, right? No cruel cliffhangers? Excellent, let’s get back to our everyday Langurd stalking.
Since Calamity’s birthday, there’s been some speculation as to how Brave/Insane/Couch Potato would manifest in a sim. Well, let me show you.
Calamity: I like to live dangerously. *dark laugh*
Calamity: I DON’T WANT TO LIVE DANGEROUSLY I WANT TO TAKE A NAP.
The first of many case studies.
Hello again! Seems like all I do these days is blog. Just as it should be, since I checked the archives and apparently this generation alone has taken me over a year to write. How? HOW? That’s 1/3 of the time this blog has been alive. What is it about Katana’s children that have made things so difficult?
Don’t answer that.
Thanks again to everyone who read the birthday posts. I know it was a lot to get through, but the party isn’t over! Oh no, keep your dancing feet warm because it’s Christmas in July! This post would have made sense if I’d stuck to the schedule dammit
Teqeq: Do you like what I’ve done with my hair? I hear chicks dig the flow.
And since Snowflake Day is a time for family, we invited all the relatives we could think of. Birth certificates/paternity tests required at the door.
gung ho [guhng-hoh] – adj.: extremely enthusiastic and enterprising, sometimes to excess. Adopted by US marines from Chinese Pidgin English.
This is my life lately. Why, only today I am “enterprising” to sew a dress, clean my room, do laundry, write four French assignments, and caption these 100-odd screenshots.
Not only that, but this chapter is so ambitious that the only other apt title would be “Five Birthdays, Three Life-Threatening Experiences, Two Destinies Fulfilled, Two Graduations, Two Kind-of Deaths, a Birth, a Party, an Abandonment, and a Wedding.”
Having read that description, you can probably just skip the chapter. But please don’t. I put my blood and tears into these things.
We begin with a father-daughter trip to China, undertaken by each party with a heavy heart.
Razor: O great spirit of Sim-Fu, grant me the strength to defeat the Abitar without glitching into oblivion.
Katana: Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou— Just kidding, I’m only upset about being outside.
Greetings! It’s a pleasure to have you back, and I’m sure you have so missed the company of Tewl and the gang during the past week or so. Ha-ha-ha hilarious, right? (Please don’t leave me alone with them again.)
In recent news, I let this site’s one-year anniversary slip by like a boss. Yeah. It was on July 15th, and I did absolutely zip to celebrate, commemorate, or even acknowledge it. I guess I was too busy celebrating more important birthdays like, uh, Harry Potter’s. I would express some kind of dismay or whatever but I’m really not that sorry, especially looking at how little progress this thing has made in its year of existence.
In the last instalment, Tewl married Morgana! Exclamation mark because I still can’t quite believe it. But in spite of my initial doubts, we have a new and improved Tewl on our hands who has not so much as looked at another woman. I know, right? It’s almost too good to be true…
Tewl: Dere seems to be a invisible magnit dat draws us to—
Aww hell no! Didn’t you learn your lesson the last eighty times you cheated on somebody?
Tewl: C’mon man, she so blonde and dopey!
Paparazzi Dope: And he’s just a real flatterer!
As much as you two are made for each other, I do not approve of this development.
Tewl: What Morgana dun know ain’t hurt ‘er, yo.