Blog Archives

1.13 Altur Egoez

No. This will not do. I’ve had this chapter half-written for like a year but school is bent on keeping it unfinished. The proof is in the pudding, with the pudding being that this chapter’s title is the name of one of my textbooks (with some minor alterations, obviously). Basically I’m in the middle of the worst semester EVER and am currently taking courses in three different languages which is screwing with my mind so dites-moi si je commence à écrire en français oððe on Eald Engliscgereord, si? Derrr, my brain is so fried. Time for Langurds. Because ain’t that the best remedy for a broken intellect.

Now for a SUPERSPEED RECAP because these things are boring as heck! The family was broke so the kids went on a dough-raking mission but failed; Morgana wanted to reconcile with Tewl but he rejected her because he’s douche; Star had an affair with the babysitter; Tewl got his ninth girlfriend but turned her into his sparring buddy; and I forced everyone in the household to be friends so that I didn’t have to invest in more beds. I think that about sums it up – now let’s get cracking on the next one!

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We all know what happens when Tewl gets into fights with girls (or anyone, really) so this screenshot is less for plot development and more for the public humiliation of one legacy founder.

Sandi: Take that, bastard! That’ll teach you to beat up a scrawny-ass punk chick with zero percent muscle mass!

Tewl: Ah goddammit, dese shorts are cuttin’ off ma leg!

Erin: Well, I’m glad I never got involved with that pansy.

Jocasta: Few sandwiches short of a picnic there, Erin? Ooooh, snap. That’s way better than the last caption you wrote for this thought bubble.

Why thank you. 😉

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1.12 Boyz Will B Boyz

Hello again! First, since for some silly reason I haven’t done this yet, I just want to say thank you to everyone for your lovely comments. I know it sounds cliché, but I honestly wouldn’t be able to keep writing this if not for your feedback and encouragement. I felt pretty crappy about the last chapter after I posted it, but your kind words turned my day right around. So I just wanted to let you guys know that you’re awesome and I love you all!! ❤

But now I must get back to writing about people I don’t love. *Sigh*… It amazes me just how affectionate some people become toward their legacy Sims. Don’t get me wrong, the Langurds and I have a special kind of connection. I just don’t think I would dare broach the “L” word with the likes of Tewl and his clan.

That said, it is still my duty to lead them through the dark territory that is the legacy challenge! Presently, we return to them in the midst of a financial crisis.

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At least it’s not $0, but keep in mind their bills aren’t cheap and we have eight mouths to feed and not nearly enough beds to go around, because these guys are all idiots and have either negative or no relationship with each other. So what did we do?

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1.7 Partay Rockerz in da Howse

Hi guys! Welcome to yet another sporadic instalment of the Dysfunkshinul Legacy. I was totally planning on captioning this chapter during my nine-hour drive to Chicago last week (don’t worry—I wasn’t the one driving) but obviously, that didn’t happen. Instead, here I am, fresh off a Harry Potter convention and writing this because the finale of The Glee Project hasn’t been posted online yet. Boo. BUT ANYWAY.

For anybody wondering, the glitchy problems I posted about last week are all resolved now. They won’t come into play for a few more chapters yet, but I figured I’d let you know that it’s all good now. 🙂

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Tewl returned home from his life-changing date-but-not-really with Morgana to find a stray kitty sleeping on his bed, while Christopher dreamed of betrayal.

Chris: Zzzzzzzz… Gonna kill that traitor with a dagger in his sleep, bwahahaha. Zzzzz… Too bad I’m the one sleeping… Zzzzz…

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1.6 Identitee Crysus

Aaaaaand we’re back again. Last time, Tewl acquired a new bro who is a girl, cheated on the woman he was cheating with, and sent Christopher’s girlfriend into labour by making out with her. Confused yet? So am I. God, I hate my founder. Still, let us dive back into the chaos…

After Cesar’s birth, Tewl accompanies Tamara back to her place to be the supportive male figure she no doubt needs in this vulnerable time.

Tewl: How’s dat feel, babe?

Tamara: Not bad, actually. Thank god I don’t have to deal with Christopher’s “massage” at a time like this.

Tewl: Yeah man, Christopher sucks.

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1.5 Da Betrayull

We’re being super realistic apparently, because wow it’s taken me forever to write this chapter. Realism sucks.

This is the second last post I need to publish before I’m caught up with my overzealous gameplay aszxdcfvghnjmkl (sorry, had to wipe some grease off of my keyboard) and I’m basically racing to be done with it so I can get back to the fun part. Not that I don’t enjoy the writing, but there’s some exciting stuff coming up and I promised myself I wouldn’t play through it until I’d captioned everything I have so far. Self-discipline is a bitch.

Anyway, less about me and more about this pair of idiots!

Whose bromance has reached such a level that they now have synchronized dreams.

Tewl: A toxic sludge monster! Quick, kill it wif fire!

Chris: I’m on it! Take tha— oh, it got me with its tentacles. 😦

Tewl: Noob.

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1.4 Broez Over Hoez

Welcome back! Last time, we discovered that Tewl is really lame and needs to get a move on with his LTW. But what else is new?

Christopher got a job at the diner! That’s kind of new and exciting, right?

Chris: Oh, yes. As you can tell from the smiley faces above my head, I am simply ecstatic.

Hey, we can’t always have what we want. Or ever, if you’re Tewl’s peon.

Chris: Gee, that’s encouraging.

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1.3 Evrybuddy Luvs Tewl

Hello again! Last chapter, Tewl had an emotional breakdown, treated himself to a motorcycle, pretended to be a superhero, struck out with two married women, and finally found (temporary) love with the unflirty Erin Kennedy.

Wingman Chris successfully wooed Tamara Donner, a big fan of his toilet. And now for more shenanigans.

With his work done at the gym (albeit not the kind of work one typically does there) Tewl roars over to the Brightmore, a nightclub that replaced the Goths’ house when I accidentally bulldozed it. I figure he can scout out some future conquests to make our work easier as this legacy goes on.

Tewl: I am too cool fer words.

Are you? Then shut up.

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1.2 Bachillerz 4 Lyfe

Welcome back to the Dysfunkshinul Legacy! In the last installment—not that it was very long ago—we saw our idiot founder Tewl being a world-class mooch (in keeping with his traits) and failing in his romantic endeavours (for which he has NO EXCUSE). Then, Christopher Steel stole his football, so he asked the guy to move in, and voila, we now have two useless members of this legacy! Excitement lies below.

In celebration of their new domestic bromance, I let Tewlopher get some ice cream at the truck that is perpetually stalled in front of their lot. Whoever is driving that thing clearly missed the memo when this ceased to be a rich neighbourhood.

Ice Cream Man: You know what happened to them swanky folks used to live up here?

Tewl: Ya, dey were forced to move to a swamp.

Ice Cream Man: No kidding. Well there goes my business.

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