Funny story. So I’m at this quiet writing session at a local café, determined to pen some legacy words for the first time in three months. So far, I’ve stared at this page for a solid twenty minutes, trying to convince myself that I can write without caffeine. I can’t figure out where the self-serve coffee is, and the only way to find it is by blindly wandering through a minefield of easily-disturbed introverts.
Needless to say, addiction won out over anxiety (this time) and I made the expedition. Turns out it was ten steps long and only involved eye contact with like three people, but I still feel accomplished.
Now that we know how pathetic I am, let me remind you all what happened at the end of last chapter.
Frieda: What is that thing cleaning up our dishes? Did you buy an ogre slave?
Sky: Oh, that’s your son. I made him ugly so he can find his inner beauty and stuff.
Happy October 13th! Today (which is likely long before I will actually post this) marks three important occasions:
1) The 22nd birthday of my K-Pop bias, but let’s not get into that
2) The end of a year-long slap bet of which I am commissioner (meaning four of my guy friends are now free to get haircuts, thank god)
3) The awkward moment when we learn that, even with a fire up her butt, Gryffindork is an incorrigibly lazy S.O.B.
Well, guess what? Now it’s the last day of October, and I think it’s safe to say SimNaWriMo has me beat. To a pulp. But we will press on, and turn that pulp into paper!
*excuses self to vomit at own pun*
Now, where were we? Ah yes, in the pits of despair after Pokey’s silent passing.
Axorn: MY SOUL IS COLD AND EMPTY LIKE THE NIGHT
Gumby: What’s got him so upset?
…Did no one tell Gumby yet?! Well fuck, I’m certainly not doing it.
Want to know what it takes for me to be productive these days? I am finally penning the first words of a post I’ve had prepped for three months, and only because…
a) Boolprop is running a marathon updating event where I get a shiny medal if I publish 3-10 of these bitches in October (spoiler: it won’t be 10)
b) My bedroom no longer gets a wi-fi signal thanks to the mythical router upstairs, which I am beginning to suspect is just a pair of rabbit ears stuck in a potato. This has cut me off from my #1 hobby of watching related YouTube videos until I can’t remember where I started or why I exist.
c) Yesterday’s quidditch tournament has rendered my every muscle completely useless, so I literally couldn’t do anything else even if I wanted to.
Why am I like this? D:
Anyhow, the stars have finally aligned—so here I am, making a start on GENERATION SIX!
We mark this milestone with a big “fuck you” to Isla Paradiso as we ship off to the Valley of Dragons.
DV greets us with an equivalent “fuck you” in the form of rain.