Welcome to the real first chapter of Generation Seven! I should probably put a note on 7.1 to skip straight here, but I’m lazy and selfish and would rather make you all suffer through what I had to. #sorrynotsorry
Either way, we made it! The spares are outta here and the hype is off the charts.
Siesta: Omg is it finally my turn??! Omg omg okay, I have so many plans ahhhhh where should I start?!?
This is it! THE LAST MELON— er, chapter of the generation. In 73 short screenshots, we will finally be moving on. As if the universe couldn’t stand for that to happen, I slammed my left hand in a car door yesterday. Soooo we’re gonna find out how funny I can be while typing one-handed.
Spoiler alert: Not very.
We’ll begin with Motherless Mandrake a.k.a. Mediocre Mandrake a.k.a. Lettuce Loins Langurd. Despite all the unfortunate titles, he has a new flirt.
Mandrake: What am I wearing right now? Well, it’s hard to explain.
The lucky guy is Rickey Lynne-Hudson, born of simself incest. He was dating my own simself’s son for a while, but little Andrew got his ass dumped. That’s my boy!
Twist it! Pull it! Flick it!
But hey, now that I’ve ruined that for you, let me… ruin lots of other things as well. Welcome back to the Langurds!
Lira: I am Mrs. Nesbitt!
We already did that.
Lira: But the readers liked it!
That doesn’t mean we get to repeat stuff.
Lira: Uh, yeah. It’s called a SEQUEL.
Okay, fine. Presenting: “Lira Drinks Tea 2: This Time with Wings.”
gung ho [guhng-hoh] – adj.: extremely enthusiastic and enterprising, sometimes to excess. Adopted by US marines from Chinese Pidgin English.
This is my life lately. Why, only today I am “enterprising” to sew a dress, clean my room, do laundry, write four French assignments, and caption these 100-odd screenshots.
Not only that, but this chapter is so ambitious that the only other apt title would be “Five Birthdays, Three Life-Threatening Experiences, Two Destinies Fulfilled, Two Graduations, Two Kind-of Deaths, a Birth, a Party, an Abandonment, and a Wedding.”
Having read that description, you can probably just skip the chapter. But please don’t. I put my blood and tears into these things.
We begin with a father-daughter trip to China, undertaken by each party with a heavy heart.
Razor: O great spirit of Sim-Fu, grant me the strength to defeat the Abitar without glitching into oblivion.
Katana: Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou— Just kidding, I’m only upset about being outside.
Great news! Finals are over and I’m pretty sure I didn’t fail them. In fact, I may have even maintained my straight-A reputation, but that remains to be seen and I don’t want to jinx anything so I’m going to stop talking about grades now and transfer my enthusiasm to whatever the fuck is happening in the screenshot below… a.k.a. motherly affection from Arabella??? Jesus, this is Tewl’s monogamous streak all over again.
Katana: Um, why are you touching me?
Arabella: I heard you were upset about being grounded. So, pip pip cheerio and all that.
Katana: I don’t think that means what you think it does.
Hello again! First, since for some silly reason I haven’t done this yet, I just want to say thank you to everyone for your lovely comments. I know it sounds cliché, but I honestly wouldn’t be able to keep writing this if not for your feedback and encouragement. I felt pretty crappy about the last chapter after I posted it, but your kind words turned my day right around. So I just wanted to let you guys know that you’re awesome and I love you all!! ❤
But now I must get back to writing about people I don’t love. *Sigh*… It amazes me just how affectionate some people become toward their legacy Sims. Don’t get me wrong, the Langurds and I have a special kind of connection. I just don’t think I would dare broach the “L” word with the likes of Tewl and his clan.
That said, it is still my duty to lead them through the dark territory that is the legacy challenge! Presently, we return to them in the midst of a financial crisis.
At least it’s not $0, but keep in mind their bills aren’t cheap and we have eight mouths to feed and not nearly enough beds to go around, because these guys are all idiots and have either negative or no relationship with each other. So what did we do?
I’m running out of intro ideas so I put some Magikarps up there to grab your attention. Did it work? I hope so.
(WARNING: This chapter contains more toddler spam than it is advisable to consume in one sitting.)
At the end of last chapter, Morgana went into labour for the second time and I know you all want to see what she gives birth to (kittens? Turtles? Blenders?) so let’s cut to the chase.
Hello again! Last chapter, Tewl had an emotional breakdown, treated himself to a motorcycle, pretended to be a superhero, struck out with two married women, and finally found (temporary) love with the unflirty Erin Kennedy.
Wingman Chris successfully wooed Tamara Donner, a big fan of his toilet. And now for more shenanigans.
With his work done at the gym (albeit not the kind of work one typically does there) Tewl roars over to the Brightmore, a nightclub that replaced the Goths’ house when I accidentally bulldozed it. I figure he can scout out some future conquests to make our work easier as this legacy goes on.
Tewl: I am too cool fer words.
Are you? Then shut up.