No. This will not do. I’ve had this chapter half-written for like a year but school is bent on keeping it unfinished. The proof is in the pudding, with the pudding being that this chapter’s title is the name of one of my textbooks (with some minor alterations, obviously). Basically I’m in the middle of the worst semester EVER and am currently taking courses in three different languages which is screwing with my mind so dites-moi si je commence à écrire en français oððe on Eald Engliscgereord, si? Derrr, my brain is so fried. Time for Langurds. Because ain’t that the best remedy for a broken intellect.
Now for a SUPERSPEED RECAP because these things are boring as heck! The family was broke so the kids went on a dough-raking mission but failed; Morgana wanted to reconcile with Tewl but he rejected her because he’s douche; Star had an affair with the babysitter; Tewl got his ninth girlfriend but turned her into his sparring buddy; and I forced everyone in the household to be friends so that I didn’t have to invest in more beds. I think that about sums it up – now let’s get cracking on the next one!
We all know what happens when Tewl gets into fights with girls (or anyone, really) so this screenshot is less for plot development and more for the public humiliation of one legacy founder.
Sandi: Take that, bastard! That’ll teach you to beat up a scrawny-ass punk chick with zero percent muscle mass!
Tewl: Ah goddammit, dese shorts are cuttin’ off ma leg!
Erin: Well, I’m glad I never got involved with that pansy.
Jocasta: Few sandwiches short of a picnic there, Erin? Ooooh, snap. That’s way better than the last caption you wrote for this thought bubble.
Why thank you. 😉
Hello again! First, since for some silly reason I haven’t done this yet, I just want to say thank you to everyone for your lovely comments. I know it sounds cliché, but I honestly wouldn’t be able to keep writing this if not for your feedback and encouragement. I felt pretty crappy about the last chapter after I posted it, but your kind words turned my day right around. So I just wanted to let you guys know that you’re awesome and I love you all!! ❤
But now I must get back to writing about people I don’t love. *Sigh*… It amazes me just how affectionate some people become toward their legacy Sims. Don’t get me wrong, the Langurds and I have a special kind of connection. I just don’t think I would dare broach the “L” word with the likes of Tewl and his clan.
That said, it is still my duty to lead them through the dark territory that is the legacy challenge! Presently, we return to them in the midst of a financial crisis.
At least it’s not $0, but keep in mind their bills aren’t cheap and we have eight mouths to feed and not nearly enough beds to go around, because these guys are all idiots and have either negative or no relationship with each other. So what did we do?
I’m running out of intro ideas so I put some Magikarps up there to grab your attention. Did it work? I hope so.
(WARNING: This chapter contains more toddler spam than it is advisable to consume in one sitting.)
At the end of last chapter, Morgana went into labour for the second time and I know you all want to see what she gives birth to (kittens? Turtles? Blenders?) so let’s cut to the chase.
Welcome back! Last time, we discovered that Tewl is really lame and needs to get a move on with his LTW. But what else is new?
Christopher got a job at the diner! That’s kind of new and exciting, right?
Chris: Oh, yes. As you can tell from the smiley faces above my head, I am simply ecstatic.
Hey, we can’t always have what we want. Or ever, if you’re Tewl’s peon.
Chris: Gee, that’s encouraging.
Welcome back to the Dysfunkshinul Legacy! In the last installment—not that it was very long ago—we saw our idiot founder Tewl being a world-class mooch (in keeping with his traits) and failing in his romantic endeavours (for which he has NO EXCUSE). Then, Christopher Steel stole his football, so he asked the guy to move in, and voila, we now have two useless members of this legacy! Excitement lies below.
In celebration of their new domestic bromance, I let Tewlopher get some ice cream at the truck that is perpetually stalled in front of their lot. Whoever is driving that thing clearly missed the memo when this ceased to be a rich neighbourhood.
Ice Cream Man: You know what happened to them swanky folks used to live up here?
Tewl: Ya, dey were forced to move to a swamp.
Ice Cream Man: No kidding. Well there goes my business.