6.3 No Rest for the Wicked

Nor for the procrastinator, apparently. 😥 Instead of partying with my friends (or better yet, sleeping) I am spending my Hallowe’en night cracking down on Update #3. At least I shouldn’t have any interruptions since this is now guarding my front door:

Fucking terrifying, isn’t it?

But how could Trumpkin ever compare to such artistry as this… this… I give up, Frieda, what the hell is that?

Frieda: It’s Axorn, of course!

Axorn: PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS

She adds a few more strokes, then packs up her masterpiece to go.

Frieda: Gonna go rip off some dumb shit now.

Indeed, we have a chance opportunity to thank for that one. 😉

Frieda: Here is the painting you requested.

Mandrake: Cool, thanks!

Frieda: That’ll be $11,000.

Mandrake: Sure!

Frieda: You dumb sucker! That was worth $300 at best!

Cut the guy some slack, Dragon Valley made him a straight man and he’s clearly very traumatized. (If you can call dating two simselves traumatizing…)

On that note, I’m pleased to announce that Donte’s relationship with Samali was something of a one-hit wonder. On a sadder note, Donte still has the social graces of a brick.

Skydancer: My dad’s horse died…

Donte: Hahahaha, I love me!

Skydancer: How can you be so insensitive?

Donte: Hot damn, she a firecracker!

And yet a strangely, a part of me still ships these two.

Calamity is making surprisingly swift progress at work. Probably because she’s ready to clock out while her coworkers are busy – whoa whoa whoa, what is going on back there???

False alarm, they’re just goofing around.

Hugh: Look at me, I’m Calamity!

Emily: Look at my weird black eyes!

Hugh: And my stupid bedazzled glasses!

Yep, totally harmless.

Calamity: Haters gonna hate.

I want to be her on so many levels right now.

Axorn: THERE ARE SO MANY LEVELS

Well, I always knew this house wasn’t built for horses (because I specifically didn’t build it for horses) but I’d hoped this day wouldn’t come so soon.

Axorn: WHAT DAY WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

Gumby: Come, Axorn, let’s go to the magical land of infinite carrots.

Axorn: OH BOY YES PLEASE

…So how much did they give you for him?

Gumby: I loathe myself.

And just when I thought we were on track to phase the equines out of our lives…

Fucking unicorns.

Still, we’re moving on to happier days. The moodlets from Pokey finally expired, and no one can mourn Axorn’s loss when they’re $13,000 richer because of it.

Calamity: This is fun. I don’t know why we don’t do this more often.

Ceramic Lamp Not Three Metres Away: Um, I do.

What the hell? Put that down, you are so not going to university.

Omen: But I got a scholarship!

Unless it’s for a Bachelor’s in Beating Quinn Flanagan, I don’t fucking care.

Omen: Seriously, no one appreciates my level of genius.

Genius comes in many forms, Omen.

Calamity: Bye-bye, horsey!

That, however, is probably not one of them.

Well whaddya know – Omen finally defeated the undefeatable! Downside is we have to buy a new chess table because Quinn is now married to the old one. Small sacrifices.

Calamity: Hey Quinn, wanna go eat waffles and take naps together?

Quinn: Didn’t you hear her, woman? These pawns and I are on our honeymoon!

So Cal goes for a little jog to sort out her feelings.

You read that right. This is what jogging looks like for ghosts.

Followed by some good old-fashioned Hulk Smash to ease the mind.

Calamity: You know I’d rather just sleep it off, right?

Fine, go back to bed. Sorry for trying to give you screen time.

Might as well go document Crash, since he seems to be enjoying himself for once. Or wait…

My bad, folks. This is, in fact, Episode 3 of Tragic Crash.

That leaves us with Fiasco, which is just as well since he was apparently absent for all of 6.2. How’s life, Fifi?

Fiasco: Don’t look at me, I’m pathetic!

Oh right, I forgot he’d become one with the wine cellar.

Lucky Auntie Sky is here to turn his day around! *cough* *hack* *cough*

Skydancer: Don’t beat yourself up, kid. There’s nothing wrong with a frumpy juvenile alcoholic!

Fiasco: Yes there is!

Skydancer: Okay so there is.

Skydancer: But I know just the thing to make you feel better!

Fiasco: Oooh, sparkles!

Oh no, not the sparkles…

Skydancer: There, all done.

Fiasco: I don’t see how this is going to help me…

Skydancer: Lol no, neither do I.

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Well, I might’ve had this uploaded by midnight if my internet hadn’t derped out on me. *shakes fist* Anyway, this should be the end of the half-assed updates, but hopefully not the end of updates altogether! If this month has learned me anything, it’s that I miss these guys and wish I had more time to devote to them. D:

Thanks for sticking with me through this shitshow of a challenge! Please enjoy this bonus picture of my cat in his Hallowe’en shirt:

(Yes, it says “Bite Me” on the back, which is quite ironic considering the time I had getting it on him.)

Happy Simming!

-Sam