6.13 Lazy Hazy Crazy
THREE HOURS. This is so not happening. What probably IS happening is that I’ll publish whatever piddly excuse for a chapter I manage to fire out by midnight, and save the rest for a 14th post. My generations have all had an even number of chapters anyway—not that there’s any real reason for that, but why stop now?
Cal: Please no bombs. I don’t wanna deal with fire this chapter.
Fair enough. See you in 6.14!
Rhapsody and the kids are keeping busy enough that their antics should fill the void.
Siesta: Well, everyone, I’ve finally puzzled the puzzle and cracked the code. I am the lovechild of Daddy and Auntie Skydancer, conceived during a secret tryst to the future!
Kip: And how does that explain the green skin?
Siesta: Oh poop, I didn’t think of that.
Rhapsody: Don’t mind me, just repairing my broken relationship via the written word!
Trance: Maybe I ought to start questioning my heritage, too.
Never doubt the power of the written word. The next three screenshots are all I have to bridge the gap between “Breandan hates Rhapsody” and “Breandan agrees to move in with her.”
He arrives with his chest puffed out, seemingly fresh off a new jousting title.
Breandan: Take a whiff, my dear. Tell me I smell like victory.
Rhapsody: You smell like… “victory.”
Breandan: Soon you’ll be wife to the most decorated knight in the kingdom! How do like the sound of that?
Rhapsody: That’s great. I’m actually really into sports too.
Breandan: No, you can’t.
And I wondered why no one was using this shower…
Gnome: What’s wrong, sweet cheeks? Don’t worry, I’ll close my eyes. 😉
Though it’s hardly the creepiest thing going down on this lot.
Paparazzi: You can’t see me.
Siesta: What was that?
Paparazzi: You can’t hear me, either.
Siesta: Oh, okay.
Wait a minute, who let this kid go running off in the dark? What if she falls into the hands of—
Siesta: Trick or treat!
Dusty: …You’re that Langurd kid.
Dusty: Gosh darn it. I’m supposed to…
Siesta: Supposed to what?
Torn between duty and honour, Dusty responds in the most awkward way possible.
Oh yeah, prom. I guess that’s a thing. Behold what Kip is supposed to wear.
Kip: I call it “dark elegance.”
Unfortunately, she goes for more of a “poppin’ tags” aesthetic at the real thing because my game is buggy af. Trance also fails to be as epic as I know he can be.
It’s a good thing they’re all but invisible in their pictures. Kip’s night is a blur of irrelevance while Trance goes through the whole “getting punch, dancing slow, omg she kissed me” sequence, and comes out of the night with Delilah as his girlfriend.
A more noteworthy occurrence: Sky and Bradan have their first child during prom and I pray for him every night. Just look at the freaks he’s descended from.
Through it all, Rhapsody’s so busy cooking her self-respect into a big cheesy pot of domesticity that she fails to keep an eye on the kids.
Rhapsody: Wait ‘til your boyfriend requests “quails drowned in butter.” See if you can be Supermom then.
Please, I am basically Supermom to all you degenerates. Who else is thoughtful enough to deliver your birthday cake on a custom-build counter right to your bedside?
Siesta: What’s this? Why am I awake?
Jk, I wasn’t being thoughtful. I’m just really impatient for you to be a teenager.
Breandan: Surprise, I live here now!
Siesta: Hey, is that my real father?
Siesta: Can’t blame a girl for asking.
She and Kip are a close contest for Biggest Post-Sparkle Disaster.
And now for bad news and good news…
The bad news? I lost her fourth trait and don’t have time to take my fingers off this keyboard and boot my game. The good news? She aged up just late enough to score a day off school and a nice makeover picture.
Siesta: I know just how I’m going to spend it!
Siesta: ♫ Domo arigato Mr. Roboto! ♫
Seems a mystery how she’s related to the Cool Kids on the Bus™.
Trance: *stares down anyone who dares to sit near them*
They mustn’t be that intimidating, because they bring home this loser friend who tells really tasteless horror stories.
Marlon: There’s a ghost… It’s creeping up behind you in the shadows…
Trance: You dense motherfucker.
Here’s a look at Trance’s girlfriend Delilah. She’s a classic Dragon Valley mixture of ethereal and alien, her only downfall (besides the granny hair) being that her little sister is slightly prettier. But Paige hasn’t seen Trance wet himself and how can we give up a history like that?
Obviously, Delilah gets an artsy-fartsy makeover to go with her balleur boyfriend.
Trance: If I point at the sky long enough, a star will be born by my command.
Delilah: Wake me up when your arm falls off.
Breandan: I say, when did this transpire?
When indeed. I’d whine about my elderly spouse curse, but we did capture you awfully late.
Doesn’t mean they can’t be impaled on throw pillows forced to give me spare babies. 😀
Breandan: I believe I smell victory again.
Rhapsody: I smell quail. Their cries will never leave me.
Trance: Quail isn’t my cup of tea.
One day I will do the right thing and lock the mausoleum doors, but it is not this day. Also, why do I feel like this guy weirdly channels Lira in some ways?
You really can’t leave these kids alone. What are you doing on the roof at this hour??
Siesta: I heard a clatter! I had to go see what was the matter!
Welp, you’ve seen it. Now get back to bed.
Siesta: But I wonder what happens if—
Siesta: Whoa! This must be how I get my electricity powers!!
Siesta: Master, I’m ready! I don’t care if it hurts!
Emit: Don’t ever say that to a man.
Emit: I can’t give you superpowers, but I can give you this really cool box.
Siesta: I love boxes! Can I wear it on my head?
Emit: No, and don’t press all the buttons at once because you could actually blow up the universe.
Siesta: Don’t worry, I definitely won’t!
Emit you fucked up.
For the record, this is what a black unicorn looks like if you find a real one in the wild instead of making it yourself from a white one. :3
Name-Brand Unicorn: You’re a sham.
Okay, last thing—I know I said Cal was exempt from this chapter, but this is Screenshot 911 and I couldn’t resist. You know you’re loved when your arrival at work triggers a mass evacuation.
Ginger: Omg, go faster!
Sofia: I’m trying, I’m trying!
And you know you’re a loser when the whole town throws a pity party to make you feel better!
Nora: Alright, everybody say nice things!
Paige: You’re my favourite fire puter-outer!
Mason: Everyone wets themselves sometimes!
Okay, so it’s actually a legit award ceremony. I should probably tell the story properly when my sims do cool things.
Cal: My lord.
Mayor: You’re not being knighted, ma’am, stand up.
However, I’m not the only one laughing through it.
Mayor: Why aren’t you looking at me?
Cal: I’m so sorry, I just can’t take any of this seriously when you’re wearing that hat.
This is going up without edits at 11:57 and I am terrified. See you on the other side!
What I feel like right now:
And thirty minutes later, all the missing dialogue is filled in. Apologies if you read this baby in its embryonic stages. XD
I’ll give this generation the send-off it deserves next time. For now, Zzzzzzzzzzz…