7.21 Too Many Requests

What up, Simming World? I am pleased to announce that, after 1,118 days abroad, I am finally back in Canada and reunited with my beautiful, wonderful, absolute hunk of a PC. ❤

He’s been carefully preserved in a carbonite slab garbage bag inside a room that, during the last three years, has accumulated far less dust than my lungs did in Seoul.

After a tentative foray into the game, I can confirm that my saves are (mostly) booting, my CC is intact, and my mods are not crying out for updates. Probably because NraaS stopped updating in like 2018, but I digress.

I am less pleased to announce that I still have like ten posts’ worth of old crap to slog through before I can actually do anything with those saves. Who had money on “Gryff renews contract TWICE and still doesn’t run out of content”? Most of you, I presume.

WELL ANYWAY.

Previously, Siesta and Dusty’s quads aged out of puddinghood and into fully-fledged faces of their own. Allow me to reintroduce them.

Here we have Darth Maul…

Kyrii: Nice.

…and a dolphin sprouting majestically from her butt.

Kiko: I’ll take it.

Also some Weasleys.

Kougra: WAY too rich to be Weasleys.

Kau: Tell that to my stylist. And the person who has me sleeping in a tent.

*raises hand on both counts* But yeah, the Quad Squad is bordering on too cool for me. I can already tell that writing them is going to be a COMMITMENT.

I can also already tell that one of them will likely be taking over the family, which in a tragic sort of way means the elder three need not ever have been born.

Tonu: This is not what I ordered!!

Kiko: Don’t count yourself out, bro. It’s all about screentime from here.

Acara: Oh, please. As if we’re even getting any screentime after this.

Sorry, girl. What can I say? You were our intellectual go-getter, but Kyrii has, you know, an actual Genius trait.

Kyrii: I’m also not literal vanilla.

Acara: IT’S A DELICIOUS AND UNDERSTATED CLASSIC.

At least Acara still has one sister in her corn—

Kiko: Yo Ixi, you’re cool. Let’s make old people hand phones.

Ixi: Yeah, totes gnarly dude.

Acara: Sellout.

Ixi: I can’t help it. I crave acceptance.

After all that talk, this is where I find Acara hours later.

Acara: I can be young and hip, too.

Yeaahhhh, I’m just gonna slowly walk away now.

And here comes the awkward moment that only graces us once in a lifespan!

Kougra: Girls? Guys? Enbies? Chickens?

Kau: Now why would you assume chick—

Kougra: Bro, look at yourself.

Ah yes, Sam. The exact screencaps you needed on the quads’ birthday. Kau, Kiko, Kyrii, and the family robot.

While I don’t have the cap saved, I can actually confirm that Kougra is also hetero, because I remember the disappointment. Maybe Dudley should be the heir.

Kau: I just don’t get it! Why would Kougra say I’m attracted to you? Am I the family joke?

Charles: Bitch, you could do a lot worse.

I’ll, err, leave you two alone.

Kau: I DON’T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED.

Charles: Mmhmm. See you in two hours, pipsqueak.

I do not like the turn this has taken.

A universal tagline for Langurd life choices. Remember June the butler? Remember Tonu’s creepy thing for her? Yeah, I also would have been happier forgetting.

Tonu: String the shrubbery?

June: Why certainly, young master. I would be pleased to accommodate that request.

What? What request? What’s going on?!?

TONU NO.

June: Maybe your brothers and sisters would like their shrubbery strung, too.

Tonu: Unplug the toaster!

Everything is made ten times worse by June’s permafrozen smile.

I wonder who gave Tonu the idea to pursue such an inappropriate relationship.

Dusty: I am reading a book.

Yeah, except in your case, that could be just as bad a euphemism as “string the shrubbery.”

Dusty: String the what now?

The abhorrent old coward is at Military Level 9, and “reading a book” with his boss is practically his only hope of making Level 10 before he dies. Unfortunately, even that’s not going so well.

Patty: I just found out that you’re married!

Dusty: You knew I was married! My wife is your sister!

Patty: I have a SISTER?!

Dusty: Uh, yeah? You’re the eldest daughter of the O’Reilly-O’Connells, one of the feuding families of Dragon Valley?

Patty: There are dragons?!

Dusty: I’M SO CONFUSED.

Dusty: Look Patty, I don’t know what’s going on but I’m 92 years old and I just really wanna be an astronaut.

Patty: Whoa whoa whoa, don’t try to tell me that space is real too.

Dusty: PATTY WTF

Somehow.

Also, the gosh darn paps finally did their job and spread some (100% legitimate) rumours. Dusty sued for defamation anyway.

Twice.

We’re really down to the wire on this one.

Dusty: Yes, is this NASA? Could you pull some strings for me, pretty please?

I’m pretty sure actually doing your job would be quicker at this point.

Dusty: I DON’T KNOW HOW. THAT’S HOW WE GOT HERE, OKAY?!

Siesta is sitting pretty having already fulfilled her LTW, which gives her all the more time to spend with her seven teenagers!

Kiko: Hey Mom, wanna film a TikTok?

Siesta: Eww god, did I really make this?

Their relationship is in the depths of red and it amuses me to no end.

Kiko: I don’t get it. I’m nothing but sugar and spice.

Kougra: You’re just missing “everything nice.”

Kyrii: And literally all your spatial awareness.

Kiko: Dude, there were four of us in that womb.

Kougra: Yeah and thank god we got out. Brb, going somewhere far away from you both.

The kids are quickly proving to be just as diverse in personality as they are in looks. Kiko, the de facto ringleader, is a giant troll with zero ambition and aaaaall the social influence.

Kiko: Omg is it cake though?!

Kiko: Hahaha, I knew it.

She mostly just makes faces at the TV and it’s somehow more amusing than anything else going on around here.

Kyrii is a big ol’ nerd who makes nerddom look much cooler than someone else I know.

Acara: Oh wow, I wish I cared.

Side note, Acara and Hans are already one of the longest-lasting teen relationships in my game.

Kougra is a silently rebellious loner who wants nothing to do with anyone, except maybe Pete.

Kougra: I’m gonna go to bed, I swear! Don’t tell Mom and Dad!

Pete: Pete no care. Krougla do what Krougla want.

Kougra: Really?! Wow, Pete! Thanks for being cool!

Pete: Kroooooool.

Kougra: Oh hey, in that case, can I get a cat?

Pete: Yorp!

Kougra: Sweet! You the best, Pete!

As for Kau, well, he’s a… um…

???

Kau: Are these… my children?

OH GOD NO.

Hen 1: Should we set the chump straight?

Hen 2: Where’s the fun in that?

Ixi, whose little run-in with Mayor Lev may have inspired her into a career in politics, is working hard to overcome her robotic upbringing and develop those people skills.

Ixi: Why yes, Mr. President, I would love to dine with you this evening. I’ll have the 001110011001010001010110111— come on, Ixi! Get it together!

And yet she’s still on track to max charisma faster than Skydancer.

I guess that leaves Tonu.

Tonu: You forgot the milk.

Siesta: Please don’t speak to my machines that way.

I mean I really just have no idea what this kid’s deal is.

Tonu: One of the items on your wish list is on sale.

My favourite words.

So yeah, in summary, seven teenagers is a lot to keep track of.

Siesta: I agree. This is the only way.

Wait, what are you doing?

Enroll— SIESTA, you can’t just—

Welp, that’s one way to parent.

Ixi sails off to Beauxbatons (probably) and this PRECIOUS LITTLE FLOOF immediately arrives to take her place. Everyone meet Kadoatie!

Kougra: Well hello there, itty bitty LIGHT OF MY LIFE.

Oh yeah, Kougra’s an Animal Lover, in case you forgot her traits like I did.

Furthermore, in case I forgot to divulge this generation’s name theme: it’s Neopets. You can see all the goofy creatures the kids are named after here. Kadoatie is a the name of a Petpet, aka a pet belonging to a Neopet, aka petception, which I thought was really clever at the time. Still kinda do. Also I just wanted to confuse everyone with more “K” names.

Kougra: Wanna come sit on my shoulder while I stream Fortnite?

Kadoatie: Get a job!

Kougra: What?

Kadoatie: Invest in real estate!

Kougra: Who are you, Financial Advice Kitty?

Kadoatie: Grow your assets!

Kougra: Is it too late to return this thing?

Yes. Though I’m beginning to worry that we have a few too many mouths to feed.

Kau: You’re not getting rid of my children.

They are not your children.

Kau: But they look just like me!

Kau: I’m proud of you, son!

Chick: (• v •)

Kiko: Are we all getting animal sidekicks now? Is that a thing?

Definitely not a thi—

Kiko: Come to Mama, Satan.

Satan: *screeches*

I give up.

For all their individual “pursuits”, these two are definitely still in cahoots. #accidentalrhyme

Kau: Hey Kiko, guess what? I’m a father now.

Kiko: Good for you, Captain. Ping-pong?

Kau: You’re on!

Kau: Hmm, don’t you think it’ll be hard with that paddle in the way though?

Kiko: That’s what I was thinking. Cast it aside!

Kiko: That’s better. Now let’s ping some pong!

I wish I understood them even a little bit.

Sometimes it feels like Tonu is the only one who makes any sense around here. He rolls the “Rockstar” LTW on a whim like every other delusional teen, except this time I decide to lock it in. If there’s anything certain about this guy it’s that he’s never going to be certain about anything, so I may as well let him sing about his feelings.

Tonu: ♫ I’ve been walking with the cheese, that’s that queso ♫

Turns out his sweet tunes are enough to bring Kougra out of hibernation.

Kougra: Why is it raining in here?

Tonu: ♫ ‘Cause when we jumping it’s popping we jopping ♫

Kougra: Thanks for the clarification.

This is… school? City Hall? The library? I don’t know what this picture is for other than daaaaaamn, we need to get out of Dragon Valley STAT.

But how can we leave when it constantly gives us dramatic scenes like this?

Kau: ♫ Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me ♫

Kau: ♫ We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot ♫

Hey, Kau?

Kau: SHH! ♫ Drink up, me hearties, yo ho! ♫

Shouldn’t you be holding onto that bar?

Kau: Bar? I don’t need a—

Kau: FIRE IN THE HOLE

Kau: DAVY JONES’ LOCKER BE MY FATE

Kau: BLRRBBBLLLBBB

Kiko: Don’t worry bro, I’ll reel you in!

What else are sisters for?

Kougra: Being pains in the ass, apparently.

Oh? Jealous much?

Acara: Well, aren’t you just a cutie-patootie.

Kadoatie: It’s never too early to save for retirement.

Acara: That’s exactly what I always say!

Huh, kinda seems like they’re made for each other.

Kougra: No. Mine.

Kadoatie: File your taxes.

Kougra: Shut up.

You know, I’m not sure if I buy that “Animal Lover” trait after all.

Kougra: Kau did WHAT now?

Kougra: I knew it. And he had the nerve to act all high and mighty…

Charles: You want a piece of this too?

Kougra: Excuse me?

Not in front of the little ones…

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I have no idea what this even is. I am deeply sorry for the trauma. One more post ought to knock the rust off, I hope.

Happy Simming!

-Sam