4.7 Come on Barbie, Let’s Go Party

Now that we’re acquainted with the new house, let the breaking-in commence! Or more likely just the breaking.

Weston: Gilded wainscoting, crystal chandeliers, solid gold bathtubs… This place must have cost us approximately—

A shit ton, yes, thank you Mr. Frugal. Maybe don’t check out Lira’s room because it contains $6600 worth of curtains. XD

Lance: Did you really have to drag us out here?

Yes, the family tree needs fixing. Right now, the game thinks you’re unrelated!

Lance: And?

What did I say about front door confusion? Before Boa could even get to his, he was swarmed by the entire cousin brigade.

Tomahawk: What do you think about modern art?

Valencia: Where do we go when we die?

Malissa: Get your grabby hands off my man!

Well gee, look who’s Mr. Popular.

Part of the cousin brigade is a man named Jaime Lannistergurd. I took this opportunity to make him look even more like the incestuous Kingslayer, just to creep us all out even more.

Jaime: Love is love, man.

Gross.

I certainly hope he isn’t getting it on with his little sister Valencia, whose features I quite enjoy.

Valencia: Who’s creepy again?

The paperboy found the right door, which I’m taking as a good omen.

Drachma: A dog leash? What the fuck kind of tasteless decoration is that?

REALLY, DRACHMA. Does nothing please you? Just trying to keep up with your ever-changing personality here.

Gnome: Does this mean I should put the sign away?

Katana is much more easily satisfied. She quickly turned the posh living room into a cozy meditation spot.

Katana: Can’t do much else in here without walking into the chandelier.

Well, Boa found something. Turns out these pretty rugs I picked are part of the “Savvy Seller’s” set, which means they’re meant to be used in a shop. Now he thinks everything on top of them is for sale.

Boa: How much for the coffee table, kind sir?

Lira: I don’t like pretty things.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Next time, I’m building you fools a very large grey box.

And you? What do you have to complain about? (Besides the fact that Lira tried to murder you four times and turned you into a blimp.)

Weston: This pie has been in my inventory for a two weeks.

Then throw it away.

Weston: I’m flushing it down Lira’s toilet.

And I’m implementing a lock system…

One lock will be for Lev’s Lonely Tower, since she’s such a dang overachiever that we might actually get a LTW out of her before we’re through. In case you forgot, hers is Renaissance Sim, which means she has to max three skills. She’s basically done with painting already, and I’m thinking we’ll play up her Avant-Garde next with street art.

There we go, Drachma’s finally settled in.

Drachma: Hide yo children nubs, I’m back!

 

Florin made a decent bit of headway with Blog Artist before the heir poll, so I’m thinking of letting him finish that too.

Florin: My blog! It’s exploding from sheer awesomeness!

Or not.

Our first time out on the town, we met two unlikely locals and discovered Lance’s family hangout of choice: Grady’s Junkstop. It makes so much sense.

Seema: I’d be ever so delighted if you’d accept these flowers as a token of my love!

Karl: Golly gee willakers, that’s swell!

First impressions of Midnight Hollow? Derm, I’ll get back to you.

Shortly after, we got a warm welcome from some other residents.

Trang: Ow, my spare rib just ruptured! I need a doctor. I need… WESTON LANGURD!

Trang: Seriously, I’m giving you a second chance here.

Phhyyeahh, and guess who’s in that caravan wasting precious family funds on a fortune reading.

Weston failed again. And apparently, he should stay away from Sims wearing the colour orange.

Bit late for that.

Some llama dropped off a sparkling bucket of goodies, and naturally, Lira couldn’t resist.

Lira: Wowee, a clipboard! I’m gonna make a sailboat out of these dots right here.

That’s the beauty of multiple choice.

What’s the deal? Are we doing the university thing or aren’t we? If I you asked me right now, I’d say negatory. However, I made this decision months ago… For some reason, it seemed like a good idea then. So yes, I’m warning you all, there’s a lot of crap to drag our feet through before we get alien/stoner babies. Sorry, I’m the worst! ❤ However, I like to think there’s some good shit in there, and I’ll do my best to make it funny shit, too.

Lev: Is this for me?

Of course not, GTFO.

Time to make Boa’s toad princess a part of the family!

Katana brings a parasol because the sun shines SO BRIGHTLY here.

Katana: How touching.

Lira: How touching.

The emotionally vacant mimics the emotionally indifferent.

The second she was added to the side panel…

Malissa: *hots for Weston*

Florin: *hots for Malissa*

Katana: Oh, this is going to be great.

Honeymoon Phase One.

Honeymoon Phase Two. (Making babies? You know, I honestly don’t remember what my plans were at this point.)

Lira: Can I make babies too?

That’s not how it— oh, forget it.

She didn’t make a baby, but she made an adorable (and functional!) baby play mat! Maybe the only useful thing to come out of the Titanic Toy Machine besides its perfect complement to Lira’s personality.

Lira: Life in plastic, it’s fantastic!

Alright, boys! Everyone get on that aptitude test. We’re gunning for all the scholarships we can get.

Drachma: Can I just copy Lev’s answers?

Not unless you plan to do it all the way through your PERFECT DEGREE. XD

Drachma: Challenge accepted.

Hey wait 😡

Drachma: Wow, and I thought I was bad. Looks like drugs don’t correlate with academic success.

Malissa: 2 + 2 = 9 lol

And with that, it’s time to go. Lead the way, my precious heirs!

The send-off was very emotional.

Katana: You mean I get this huge, spanking new house to myself? That’s terrible.

Before the van even pulled up, she was off to raid Boa’s fridge.

And Weston? He went shopping in the living room.

Weston: I wonder if the couch is on markdown.

Welcome to Sims University! The Money Babies feat. Malissa get a brand new incarnation of the very same World, and the very same dorms, that their mother inhabited so long ago with her siblings.

Lira: Am I underdressed?

Boa: Dude, welcome to my life.

This is a chance for the heirs to buy time and the spares to find themselves. Drachma packed really light for the task.

Drachma: I’ve found myself.

Too bad, try again.

Yes, Drachma has made a point of resisting everything I’ve thrown at her. But two can play at that game, so I went full bitch and enrolled her in Physical Education. Now she’s gonna get me that Perfect Student LTW if it’s the last thing she does and we’re both going to be miserable in the process.

Obviously, I parked her down with a book before she’d even picked her room. Distraction manifested itself post haste.

Garrison: Well helloooo there.

Garrison: I see you’re reading a book. I also like… books.

Malissa is studying Communications. It was really an arbitrary decision since she has so few talents.

Malissa: Watch me pull this chair out with my thumb.

Tammy: Impressive.

Florin is studying Business. I thought it would be fun if everyone got a different degree, and anyway, Florin has an undeniable charisma, y’know? I’m sorry, I can’t say that with a straight face.

Florin: Hello everyone, and welcome to How 2 B Kewl: Live Format! You know, I used to be a loser like all of you.

Florin: And then one day, I discovered chain belts! Follow my simple rules and you too can radiate awesome!

Drachma: Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

I think they meant a different kind of “devise plays,” Drachma.

Malissa: What are your views on the legalization of marijuana?

Carol: I’m sorry, I’m really not comfortable answering that on a live broadcast.

Malissa: Broadcast? No man, I’m holding an ice cream cone.

Florin: Hospitals suck! Down with hospitals!

Florin: Hospitals are unnecessary to society as a whole because I am not currently sick or injured!

Mugsy: I change that soon, son of Brokiller.

Yeah guys, your mom set you up real good for this place. *nervous laugh* It scares me that Mugsy is a vampire in this universe.

Uneducated bandwagoner: Yeah! Hospitals suck! No more hospitals!

I guess this explains how “Women Against Feminism” can exist.

Lev’s studying Arts (with a huge scholarship) which means she gets to just dick around all day.

Carol: Hit me!

Lev: I think you hit the ball out the window.

Boa is studying Science and Medicine because apparently that benefits from a background in Alchemy.

Balboa: Hey, check it out! Do we look the same? Eh?

That leaves Lira with Technology, because I’m really hoping that brain machine can explain the workings of her mind.

Lira: Don’t I need head protection?

Let’s put it this way, I don’t think radiation can make you worse.

Later that night, the gang hit up their first college kegger. Lev got white-girl wasted while the others lit stuff on fire.

Balboa: EEEEK a drop of rain!

Malissa: Wussy.

Florin: Inorite?

You two keep your hands to yourself, okay? I’m watching you.

Come on, Lira, go have fun! Socialize!

Lira: This was a mistake. I want to go home and put my plans into action.

Me too, but the plans have been played and the screenshots have been taken, so…

Tammy: Everybody get naked! It’s the new cool thing!

Her prime target, as expected.

Florin: I’M A FREE BIRD! I LOVE UNIVERSITY!

Not so fast dipshit, your whole FAMILY is at this party.

Lev: Where are you, bitch? I just saw my brother naked because of you!

Seriously? Peer pressuring freshmen into having sex to prove themselves? That’s gonna end well.

Lira: HAHA, you’re nude!

Tammy: Try it.

No need to scare the guests with her lack of belly button.

Back at the dorms, it turns out cool, liberal party gal is not such a cool roommate.

Tammy: You think you can just stay home while the rest of us go partying? How do I know you’re not gonna trash the place?

Drachma: Whoa bitch.

Garrison: Hey babe, you need a kiss to feel better after this, you come calling mmkay?

Lev: Sheesh, even Drachma has a love interest? At this rate I’ll die before I find romance.

At this rate, Drachma will die before the end of the semester.

Drachma: I got it, I got it, I–

Drachma: Derp.

The real reason she doesn’t leave the building these days is because she reads, trains, sleeps, and occasionally eats if there’s time left over.

Nope, no breakfast today. Off to class you go!

Drachma: I hate you.

HAHAHA, she wishes.

Look, it’s Liz from the Zales! I love legacy spouse spotting. 😀

And Jeff from the LISBI! He’s a pretty butterfly!

And this guy from the… county prison!

Want to rethink your hand placement, bucko?

Tammy: UGH you’ve been gaming for a whole five minutes! I want the TV now!

Tammy: Yep, just gonna stand here ‘til you let me have it.

Drachma is so unfazed.

Drachma: Cover me boys, I’m going in!

This is the first time I’ve seen a Sim draw something in the sketchpad that even vaguely resembles art.

Lev: It’s called “Lev meets her dream guy.”

Can it already.

Lira’s not about to waste any time in her grand plans, so she’s a toymaking roadshow now. Don’t be fooled, that’s Regulation Blowtorch Operation Gear right there.

I was about to say “Look, Drachma has a friend she can struggle along with!” but uh…

Boa’s classes have been really productive so far.

I mean, really productive.

It’s basically all they do if I’m not watching them.

Malissa: Can’t reach juice!! Big emergency!!!

Two LISBI spouses and a Langurd spouse walk into a lecture hall…

Eddy: Don’t finish that joke, I already know it’s bad.

Drachma: Hahahahahahahahahaha

DRACHMA BE SERIOUS

Drachma: Right. *ahem* How to Run 101.

Lira: It’s thunderstorming. Should I get out of this thing?

Meh.

Lev maxed her painting, so it’s on to Street Art. Or, more like Art within the Comfort of the Home, also known as Spraypainting the Motherfucking Walls.

Meanwhile, Balboa brewed a questionable substance to uh, help Drachma with her athletic ability. Let’s leave it at that.

Garrison: Say, Lev… Does your sister like surprises?

Lev: Huh? Uh, yeah, sure. I guess.

Garrison: I think it’s time to bust out… The Naked Man!

In the married couple’s bedroom? GET OUT, CREEP.

Florin: So this Garrison guy. You’re playing hard to get, right? You’re just being unfriendly because you like him.

Drachma: Yes, and I’m eating this hot dog because I hate hot dogs.

Lira: Really, Florin!

Drachma: Hey Prof! Why don’t we all just use steroids when they’re so convenient?

Prof: That’s a good question, class. Why don’t we all use steroids?

Mugsy: I use steroids.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Can you tell I wrote that really fast? I’m hopefully going to blitz through the rest of these university screenshots because I’m as antsy as you are. And on that note I’m probably going to hit “Publish” and just keep writing until my caffeine buzz runs out, so thanks for reading and Happy Simming and all that jazz!

-Sam