This is it. The OFFICIAL last chapter of Generation Seven—not because it’s actually over, but because I have decided to deem it so, and because I have the power.
Everything after this is university, and I’m currently making hella efforts to condense all of that into 4-5 posts—but we all know that won’t happen.
I have ALSO decided that when I finally get back to gameplay, I’m going to restart from the end of university. I have several versions of the save I could jump back to, but I had an heir in mind when I played ahead, and I’m not sure how I feel anymore. I also want to know how you guys feel!
All that to say—optimistically, in 4-5 posts’ time, there will be an heir poll! AND THEN WE SHALL MOVE FORWARD AT LAST.
Previously, we saw a future in which Siesta Langurd was synonymous with failure, which sounds an awful lot like the present tbh. She sought to redeem herself with a legacy statue, and in the process, cobbled together a wondrous thing we call Pudley.
Siesta: Hey, you’re pretty cool. But how would you like to be aware that you’re cool?
Pudley: Piatto del giorno!
Siesta: I have outdone myself.
Pudley is, for all intents and purposes, a newly built future-tech PlumBot with Sentience. And that means the future folk are gonna build a statue of his creator. Hey—I don’t make the rules.
Emit comes right away to greet the future of technology himself.
Emit: Up top, kaleidoscope man.
Pudley: Merci croissant!
And to deliver the somewhat ridiculous news.
Emit: It’s incredible! I’ve found a version of the future where everyone’s braincells rotted and they think you’re a genius!
Siesta: Oh em gee! That’s literally my dream world!
Siesta: I must see it for myself.
Emit: Sure, just don’t fuck up the timeline. Who knows if this could ever happen again.
Siesta: Do you hear that, guys? I’m a genius. And each of you is just a reflection of my genius!
Pudley: Queso por favor!
I feel like we’ve been here before…
Ah, yes. How history loves to repeat itself.
Before we hit up the future again, Siesta and her bots are headed someplace special!
I just love how he floats so majestically.
But first, RAINBOW??? I can only assume this yet another ITF feature I have stumbled upon far too late.
Siesta: Idk if I really feel like digging through all this crud…
DO IT. DIG THE CRUD.
As opposed to a mediocre pot of gold?
Well, how much was it?
Siesta: Just a few thousand dollars.
JUST— god, this is the kind of thing that makes me want to start from lawn living again. (Just kidding. Unless…?)
Anyway, the Bot Squad makes a brief stop to witness Tofu Beancurd, the artist who’s taking the town by storm.
Tonu: ♫ Risky risky wigi wigi, this is an emergency ♫
Pudley: Oh hon hon, très violet!
And then it’s on to the final destination.
Siesta: Bye, Pudley.
Pudley: Wie geht es dir?
Siesta: Thanks for the statue. Have a nice life.
Yeah, I forgot we kicked him to the curb quite so fast. However, I’d rather have an extra 11,248 simoleons than thirteen sims in my household—and as they say, last in, first out. 😛
Dudley: Last in, first… die?
Pudley: Sacré banane!
Of course Siesta sticks around to make sure her tin child doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.
Siesta: Nah, I’m just really into this book.
Siesta: Meh, he’ll be alright. Time to go.
Wesley: Looks pretty useless. But maybe I could gut it and use it for storage.
Pudley: Hablo alto por favor!
By pure coincidence, Tonu’s next Sing-A-Gram customer is none other than Siesta’s very first PlumBot! Who is now in charge of saving the town from fire. Had I known this, I would have implemented a household-wide waffle ban.
Siri: Aww man, this dweeb? You’re not what I ordered.
Tonu: ♫ Yeah the deer be everywhere / Everybody scared / Run ‘n’ say your prayers ♫
Siri: I take it back! This kid is revolutionary!
In other success stories, Acara is racing up that corporate ladder, and dressing the part to boot.
Acara: I’m not wearing any boots.
The wardrobe AND the sense of humour of a cube dweller!
Acara: Okay, well I have better jokes than that—
Truly, if beige were a personality!!
No but really, she’s very good at this life that has chosen her.
As is Ixi.
And Tonu, as we know.
And— holy fuck, a whole $80/week??! Siesta has peaked.
Dusty: What about me? I’m good at stuff too!
Let me guess. You got another sunbrella.
Dusty: Why yes, I did.
Dusty: And also I retired.
Finally! At the spritely age of 100, which would be hilarious if it weren’t also my own projected retirement age. 😀
With a pension of $430 per day, I truly hope for the first time that this guy breaks Razor’s record and stays with us for a looooong time.
I’ve completely lost track of where all these pop-ups belong, but shortly before Dusty retired, the Langurds purchased his workplace…
…did a little rebranding…
…and flexed their newfound authority.
Weeding out every one of Lev’s descendants, every O’Reilly, every O’Connell, and every hyphenated abomination in between.
Thanks to my SP mod, most of them were rehired immediately. Still, it was an irrationally satisfying exercise. 😀
Might this have something to do with the master plan? I have an inkling it does, and I think we can all guess the next target.
Ixi: Things are going swimmingly, Kiko! My superiors are completely convinced I’ve turned my back on you all and been swayed to their cause. They don’t suspect a thing!
Ah, yes. The very same superiors who tried to talk her into politics in the first place. Lev, finally an elder, is no longer just the Mayor of Dragon Valley. She has achieved WORLD DOMINATION, and her youngest daughter Molly—Ixi’s boss—is undoubtedly doing her work on a local level.
But Ixi will see to that.
Ixi: Just a couple more weeks and we’ll be ready to make our move.
Kiko: Damn girl, you really came through on this one!
Kiko: Nice work, big sis.
Ixi: I— I— *tearing up* You don’t know how much that means to me, younger and cooler sis!
Dusty: I’m glad you girls took my career advice to heart.
Kiko: What? No, Dad. This is Ixi’s moment.
Ixi: That’s right! Now let’s practice our teacup grips.
Kiko: Not quite, but okay.
Oh look, a prom! Hope you guys had an absolute bowl.
Kyrii: *death glare*
Kougra’s the only one who made it into formalwear, so naturally she was voted prom queen. Kyrii and Kiko beat up nerds and got in fights.
Kau… probably attended?
Kau: Nah, I don’t buy into that stuff.
Oh yeah, he had to have been there because I have a popup that says he was rejected by his crush.
Kau: THAT WAS A DIFFERENT KAU I’M SURE.
Our little loner actually struck double gold because she came out of the night with a non-Langurd RI!
But he’s (probably) a Face One, so the success stops there.
In a third win for the night, at least Kyrii’s bowlhand doesn’t show up in pictures!
…I don’t know why I even document these anymore.
Dusty: Why yes, I’d love to go on another trip to the future! That sounds like a great use of our time.
Siesta: Well good, because we’re already here.
Aaaand here we go again. I think this is the last one? Dear god, I HOPE this is the last one.
We get the Utopian version this time! Full disclosure—this actually the second time. There was a brief goof-up earlier where I thought Siesta could upgrade one of her existing robots to Future-Tech and get the legacy statue that way. She and Dusty came to check, and I deleted the screenshots out of shame.
A couple of lucky kids get to join them on Take Two. One of them makes a beeline for the nearest Dreampod.
Ixi: This is my first vacation in my whole adult life.
Good point. Carry on.
Imagine coming here and holing up in a hotel room though. Seriously.
EA, you done good on this one.
And now, for what we came all this way to see…
Horse 1: Is she talking about you?
Horse 2: Nah man, definitely you.
Horse 1: D’aww, but you’re the pretty one!
Horse 2: No you!
Heartwarming as that may be, I’m really talking about this! A crystal replica of Siesta contemplating life after accidentally decapitating Pete!
Dusty: Heck yeah, that’s my wife! Winning hearts and chopping off heads!
Siesta: What’s that on the inscription? “Sistea Longbard… She waz real smort. Made robot good.”
What? You don’t like it?
Siesta: Idk, they didn’t really do my butt justice.
Oh, yes. That’s the problem.
Here’s the actual statue message. Pretty cool, in truth.
Ixi: Alright, I’m awake and ready to see that the future holds!
Nathaniel: Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
Ixi: Not precisely, but I don’t mind looking at you.
Kyrii has other priorities, like getting to know the local flora.
Kyrii: Hello? Is anyone home?
Flower: Eww, I smell a Neanderthal.
Flower: Take a shower, pleb.
Kyrii: Thanks a bunch! I needed that!
She collects a whole bunch of nectar samples, and though I’m sure she can’t do anything sciencey with them, it sure makes her look like a schmancy botanist.
Kyrii: That is the goal.
Botanist and entomologist. Damn, this kid is in her element.
Kyrii: Know what the best part is?
Kyrii: That damn bowl evaporated in the portal!
OMG YEAH! SHE’S CURED!
Being lauded as a genius has gone straight to Siesta’s head, as expected. Here we find her staring at a book while sitting in front of a chess board, which is pretty much as intellectual as she gets.
Siesta: Shhh, I’m absorbing smarticle particles.
As I said, nothing sciencey. But hey, who needs science when you can have nectar fights?
Judith: What’s a science?
Kyrii: You’re messing with me, right?
Judith: What’s messing?
Judith: Look, I’m a blueberry!
Kyrii: Is fruit really different now or are you just really dumb?
Yeah, the people who worship Siesta’s brain are… of a certain ilk.
Ixi: Pleased to meet you, I’m Ixi Langurd.
Brigitte: I like potato.
Roy: *poking hands through hologram* Hehehehehe.
But maybe the simple life isn’t so bad.
Ixi: Do you people just throw nectar at each other all day?
Brigitte: I’m purple!
Ixi: I see.
Even here, Ixi can’t escape the face clone life.
Chelsea: Omg it’s Sistea Longbard!
Ixi: I’m— you know, never mind.
But wait, who’s that obnoxiously Stride-of-Priding straight into the camera?
Well, it turns out I got some things wrong last time regarding the descendants. For starters, that fairy making out with Obi-Wan? She wasn’t Lev’s descendant. She was either Kougra’s or Tonu’s or both, and that depends on whether this is incest or a glitch.
Hey, maybe she’s also Lev’s. The waters are really muddy at this point.
But also, Ixi has descendants of her own! This is Ivan Pleasant-Burb.
Ixi: Pleasant-Burb, that’s a well-bred name. How many languages do you speak?
Ivan: Oh no, you got it wrong. We go by PEASANT-Burb now. On account of us being good-for-nothing losers.
Ixi: Oh god.
That serves as a wake up call, and Ixi takes measures to alter her fate.
Ixi: I’m not a clone anymore! Sign me up for the heir poll!
Listen girl, your chances of success are far better if you get the hell out of here.
I’ve been writing these two for so long that it’s actually kinda sad to see their arc come to an end. Plus, can we just acknowledge that they’ve been married for nineteen chapters??! That’s gotta be some kind of Langurd record.
The next day, Siesta takes one final shot at the “brawl”, aiming to better her third-place finish.
So she rounds out her journey of validation the only way she knows how.
With that over and done with, we bid farewell to the Simpleton’s Utopia and return to a place where Siesta is of below-average intelligence, and Ixi is cursed to be her doppelganger.
Ixi: You know, Mother, it was actually sort of nice being you for a while.
As for the ones we left behind, they never stopped the hustle. Tonu’s still out here saving lives with his music.
Blondy: Help! That upside-down party hat is about to explode!
Tonu: ♫ Close your lips / Shut your tongue ♫
Blondy: You did it! I owe you my life, Tofu!
Jeremey: What a hero!
Meanwhile, the celebrity life may be starting to get to him.
Kougra is starting to learn a little of that herself. Still trying on hats, it seems, she’s the first Langurd since Florin to write a blog.
Kougra: I’m documenting all my fights with Charles. The people love it.
Cancelled by PETA, I presume.
Like I said, this bitch is still here. Tables have turned, and now she’s the one creeping on Tonu, sleeping in his bed and stuff. At least he’s not a minor anymore.
OH AND ALSO her name is Maryann. I found it in a popup, but I don’t really care if you or I or anyone remembers it BECAUSE—
OUR FIRST CONTACT FROM JUNE SINCE SHE DISAPPEARED!
Probably not what anyone was expecting, though.
I sure hope Tonu’s handling it okay.
Tonu: *bites off chunk of teacup*
The remaining content of this chapter is scattered and gratuitous and I have no idea how to string it together.
Here’s Kau making use of stuff I spent money on and learning skills he will never use in life.
Kau: WHO BOARDS THIS SHIP???
Which is a shame because this is his first shot ever and it’s pretty dang good.
Kau: HEY KIKO I ALMOST GOT A BULLSEYE!
Kiko: That’s nice bro. But shouldn’t you take more than one shot before you start bragging?
Kau: Nah I’m going to go tell everyone else!
Kau: HEY ACARA I ALMOST GOT A BULLSEYE!
No surprise—she’s not listening.
Acara: For some reason, I feel that this man and I are one and the same.
Weston: But have they tried to kill you with a vending machine yet?
Ah, Weston. This legacy’s biggest spare without even being a spare.
And now for a follow-up episode of siblings interacting who have never met on camera before.
Ixi: What is this we’re doing again?
Kougra: It’s called not being a productive member of society. You should do it more often.
Ixi: Perhaps I should.
This cap got shuffled through to the end of the generation, and I suppose it’s here to remind me that Kyrii has a part time job on top of being in debate club and doing all her high school opportunities.
I did not remember this.
The kid is hands down the least Langurd Langurd we’ve had. But it’s not just her. You see Acara flying up her career ladder? And Ixi? And Tonu, of all people? Heck, look out the window—even Maryann is doing her job now!
Like seriously everyone, just stop it.
Kyrii: Oh, fuck.
Now that’s more like it.
Kyrii: I probably just impregnated myself with mutant beetle babies. Are you happy now?
It’s a start.
And as we get ready to wrap shit up, some parting wisdom from a wise old father.
Dusty: You know, son, people think life is all about catching the ball or scoring the goal.
Dusty: But the truth is, we all fall down sometimes…
Dusty: That’s it. That’s the lesson.
At last, Kiko—dripping wet for some reason—rings in the
new year next era.
Kiko: Yo dudes, let’s get this show on the road!
But actually, I would not have done this to you guys except that this is more or less how my screenshot folder ends. I have crappy post-sparkle pictures of some but not all of the quads, and absolutely nothing post-makeover.
The truth is that they all look exactly the same, just older. I was never going to change their everyday outfits after spending real money on them.
You’ll get a glimpse of them soon enough! Hopefully I can find decent headshots at some point though, or I’ll have to time travel to prep the heir poll. D:
Well anyway, see you in the Super Summer University Special! And Happy Simming! 😀
P.S. Omg you guys! I got such a kick out of all your quiz results. Loads of Katanas and Balboas, several Liras and Siestas, and of course a special shoutout to the one Gumby. XD I myself am also Katana if I do my best to answer honestly. Kinda disappointed no one got Tewl, but I’m sure I can blame some of that on poor quiz construction. 😛
Posted on July 13, 2022, in Generashun 7 and tagged acara, archery, birthday, blog, boxhead siesta, dudley, dusty, emit, future, history repeats itself, ixi, kadoatie, kau, kiko, kougra, kyrii, legacy statue, nectar fight, pete, pot of gold, prom, pudley, retirement, siesta, siri, tofu beancurd, tonu, utopia, wesley. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.