1.8 Angellz ‘n’ Demunz
And once more, welcome back! If I end up posting this when I mean to, I must say that I’m rather shocked at my own productivity. If not, well… there’s really nothing new there, and I apologize for my lazy butt.
In any case, I guess I have no choice but to be productive from this point forward. I’ve officially played through as much of Generation One as I can without posting an heir poll (spoiler alert: I’m absofrigginlutely excited for that) so now I just have to caption a bajillion screenshots. Let’s get started on some of that, shall we?
Last chapter, the boys became BACHILLERZ NO MOAR when Morgana and Tuesday moved in to their pad, which is also no longer a pad because we used all of Morgana’s money to build a real house. YAY. Then, Chris and Tuesday got married at a party that may go down in Sim history as the most awkward social gathering ever. That party wasn’t quite over when I ran out of steam last chapter, so I guess it’s back into the chaos we go.
Most of the guests did the right thing and ditched after Round 27 of Let’s-All-Try-to-Walk-through-this-Two-Foot-Gap-at-the-Same-Time-Ready-Go, everyone’s favourite party game. Some, however, did not.
Boyd, for one, was still absurdly determined to woo Tewl’s girlfriend. Like, what the hell?
Boyd: Now hold up a second, Morgana. I am a scientist. I can provide for you. Are you honestly saying you’d rather stay with this tool of a man?
Morgana: Yes, Boyd. You’re a raisin, not to mention one hundred percent crazy. You’re a crazy raisin. A craisin! I can’t date a craisin.
Pauline: Oh-ho-ho! Check out Tuesday getting mauled by that door! What a loser, amirite?
NO ONE LIKES YOU, PAULINE.
Tuesday: I am not at all impressed.
Morgana wasn’t the only one with an unwanted follower. Holly Alto stuck around much longer than anybody really wanted her there.
Holly: You totally want me back, don’t you? I know you can’t resist this booty-shakin’ goodness.
Tewl: Sorry bitch, da Flame is one hundred percent loyal. To dis DELICIOUS TOFU DOG OMG.
And then Tewl got just a little too excited about the tofu dogs and promptly wet himself amidst the remaining guests.
Tewl: Dang, dat’s a shame.
He picked the wrong bride to piss off, too (no pun intended).
Tuesday: TEEWWWWWLLLLL! HOW DARE YOU RUIN MY WEDDING PARTY? I WILL EAT YOUR FIRSTBORN FOR THIS!!!
Morgana: Oh god, how embarrassing!
I would like it to be known that even though this party was an absolute MADHOUSE, all the guests besides Thornton (“I had a great time! NOT”) agreed it was “awesome, verging on epic.” So Tewl’s party was ultimately a success and I got pretty stoked about the moodlet because this never happens to me—like, ever. 😀
But of course, when it was all over, there was still one person to deal with.
Morgana: *sigh* Come on, Susan. I don’t mean to be rude, but the bride and groom went to sleep hours ago.
Susan: We all live in a yellow submarine!
Morgana: No, Susan. We live in a simulated craphole and if you don’t leave so I can deal with my obnoxious moodlets, there are all kinds of things our creator can do to make you disappear.
Susan: Never say never!
And so I reset her.
Hey now, wait a minute. Those aren’t your usual pyjamas, are they?
Tuesday: No, I suppose they aren’t.
Care to explain?
Tuesday: I’m rather busy reading about a man with no fingers.
Fine. I guess I’ll have to tell them. Guys, Tuesday is a secret agent! Just kidding—she’s pregnant, which is totally not as exciting but kind of cool anyway.
I’ve decided that I really like preggo Tuesday because she is so NOT grumpy. It’s, like, a night-and-day difference. I can cope with her now because all she really does is sit around and look pretty. 😀
Tuesday: Which is a woman’s purpose in life, of course.
After Tewlopher’s brohood fell apart, it was suggested (by a reader and several help threads :D) that I have them play chess together to rekindle their relationship. So I did. I mean, uh, they sat down and did it on their own. Really.
Tewl: So Chris, it was pretty nice’a me to throw a party for you and Thursday, huh? It totally rocked da howse and now you owe me big time, bro.
Chris: Whatever, Tewl. Pawn to E5. …Wait, this doesn’t work like wizard’s chess? Oh, bother.
Meanwhile, Morgana had a little assignment of her own…
Morgana: Intriguing, these playful figures. The cow seems almost symbolic of a child-like simplicity, with the sailor marking a passage to the great beyond that is adulthood.
Can’t say she isn’t taking it seriously.
Music notes: We’re helping, too! Weeee!
I’m just going to state for the record that I spent most of Morgana’s pregnancy avoiding this room because of the noise. Seriously, KidzTube + Kids’ Music = OBNOXIOUS DRONE OF DEATH.
Naturally, we put Tuesday to work as well. Her ten handiness points she won’t be around forever (what with the eight-sim limit) and that means it’s time to be stingy bastards and have our pregnant repairwoman bash some cheap plumbing into a state of unbreakableness. (Screw you, red squiggly line. It’s called creative license.)
Tuesday: Bow down to me, young toilet! Ye shall not break!
Toilet: Yers, Merster. :3
Of course, even if the plumbing can’t break, it can still get all grunged up by Morgana’s incessant puking. SERIOUSLY, WOMAN.
Morgana: You really can’t comment on this.
I suppose not. But honestly, Tuesday has puked like once. Toughen up a bit!
Whhaaaaaaa…? Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my legacy house?
Mystery Sweater Dude: Chill, yo. Just havin’ some PB an’ J. Smilin’ an’ cherishin’ life. Y’know, all dat.
Holy shit. TEWL?
Tewl 2.0: I’ss me, bro.
I guess I should stop acting all surprised since I’m the one who did this to him, lol. But I’m still a little dumbfounded looking at these pictures. Tewl entered a mid-life crisis when he aged up (which, by the way, loses its novelty a little when ALL YOUR SIMS HAVE THEM) and one of the first wishes he rolled was to get a makeover. Being that I’m never one to deprive my Sims (AHEEEMMM) I figured it was a good opportunity to give Tewl a new look. You know, see if a change in style might spark a change in behaviour. Maybe. Hey, it was worth a try.
Tewl: Dun worry, Miss Creator Person. Imma new and improved Tewl Langurd. I make sandwiches an’ everythang.
No you don’t. Morgana made that.
Oh my. We’re not off to such a good start, are we?
No, we really aren’t.
Tewl: Dayum, gurl, you lookin’ fine today. Dat’s right—da flame still got it, bitches.
Tuesday: Remove your eyes from me at once, imbecile, or I will take my almighty repairing hammer and place it where the sun does not shine.
Yeah, Tewl. Maybe you should keep an eye on your own woman so she doesn’t go off and—what is it she’s doing again? Oh yeah:
Morgana: Ohhhhh yeahhhhh. I’m too cool for this whole neighbourhood.
And here we begin our list of Interactions that Should not Be Possible in The Sims 3. Silly EA.
This little incident might have been avoided with a bit of responsibility, but nooooo, the twerp who owns that bike and that woman was too busy fussing over someone else’s baby to notice.
Tewl: Dere’s a little Chris in dere? Sick, bro! I wish Morgana an’ I were havin’ a baby.
Chris: I am strangely okay with this.
Anyway, Morgana made it safely to the art gallery, where she immediately began to critique the entire planet.
Morgana: It’s a little… unimpressive.
Ladies and gentlemen, the world through an artist’s eyes.
But this—this she found absolutely riveting.
Morgana: Oh my god, is that Chris? It totally is!
That’s right, Miss Mona Lisa.
She was so inspired by all the art that she vroomed on home and took up the brush herself. (Read: I really just needed somebody to be the portrait painter for this generation. XD)
Morgana: And this shall be entitled “Susan and the Never-Ending Confetti.” Completely invented, of course, and not at all based on personal experiences.
But the creation of this masterpiece was disrupted when Chris decided it was birthday time and Morgana came running, only to be sliced in half by the bedroom door.
Morgana: Heh. I feel a little drowsy…
Tewl: Stop hoggin’ all da attention, Morgana. You go, bro!
Chris: ZOMG best birthday ever!!
Chris: Or not… Goshdarnit, now I’m a craisin like the Wainwrights.
I swear, this was all he did for a day or two. Come on, man—if you actually have any wrinkles, they’re from making that ridiculous face.
Once Tuesday was done with the plumbing, she moved on to some other appliances, at which point we discovered Interaction #2 that Should not Be Possible in The Sims 3 (on so many levels).
Come on, Tuesday, didn’t you read that book? Something about UNPLUGGING IT FIRST???
Chris: But I’m watching Monocle Destroyer 4!
#1 Husband right there. Someone should buy him a mug or something.
Tuesday: I’m on it, right after I finish the roof repairs.
But still, Tuesday is absolutely his biggest fan. I couldn’t not include this snapshot because she just looks so freaking adorable.
Tuesday: My Christopher!
Also, you can only kind of see it from this angle but Chris sleeps with his eyes open most of the time. He’s been doing it almost since he moved in, and it’s actually quite scary. A glitch monster on the rise? I sure hope not.
So remember when we visited the Altos at Mosquito Cove, back after I messed around with Sunset Valley and screwed all the rich families over? Yeah, well, I recently got this enormously upsetting message:
And just wait ‘til you see the house it put them in…
Come on now, Story Progression. Must you spoil our fun? Where I come from (sonny boy) people fight tooth and nail to earn their wealth. (Even if an incompetent overlord comes in and bulldozes their house.)
Anyway, Vita and Nick split up and Holly moved out, so I can at least be satisfied in having initiated some destruction. >:)
And of course somebody had to fill the vacancy in Mosquito Cove…
Chris and Tuesday really don’t belong in this legacy. They are way too sweet together and cause me to fill up valuable chapter space with gratuitous screenshots like this one. 😡
Chris: Little red shoes…
Tuesday: And teddy bears!
I hate them both.
Speaking of Sims I hate, I decided to send Tewl on a mission of redemption, now that he’s got the clothes to say “Hey, I’ve cleaned up my act” (even though he hasn’t really). You see, I was lying when I said there was some truth to Holly Alto’s blabbing about a string of illegitimate children. There is actually a lot of truth, because Sandi Kennedy isn’t the only one. There are four of them. So in actual fact, even though this seems like a total deadbeat legacy, there are four members of Generation Two already (even though none of them are technically eligible for heirship). Surprise!
Tewl: Don’ make light of dis, man. Dis is a serious matter of conflictin’ morals.
You’re just pouting because you think it makes you look cool.
Anyway, I sent Tewl out to socialize with his kids because hey, it’s not like he has anything better to do. Err, I mean, because a father should have some kind of relationship with his children. Or something like that.
First, I sent him over to Victoria’s house because, though this might come as a shock to you, she didn’t really go into labour with a chipmunk baby that day at the Bistro. Unfortunately, Victoria was not home.
Tewl: Oh. Hello dere, Mr. Potatopants. It’s me, T— I mean, uhhhh, Bobbicus Dewcheberg. Can I come in, yo?
Beau: Get out.
So I sent him to Tamara’s new place instead, where things were having trouble rendering in any kind of logical way—and that included the kids.
Tamara: I’m leaving now, bye.
Tewl: Oh no you don’t, woman.
We got her to stick around, but then I left Tewl alone for five minutes to check on the home lot and I came back to find THIS ABOMINATION.
Tewl: I miss you, Tamika.
Tamara: Oh, Tewl… I’ve been waiting for this day to come!
Back on track now—this here is Marjorie Donner, Tewl’s daughter. Impossible to tell you as yet what she really looks like, but she seems like a cutie in this picture at least.
Tewl: Uhhhh, what do I do with dis thing? Poke it?
Marjorie: Heeheehee! Funtimez!
Not surprising considering she’s been crawling around the yard up until now.
And this is Sharonda, Marjorie’s twin sister. It’s creepy because I work with a pair of women who have those exact names, almost.
Tewl: Dis is exhausting. Can I put it down now?
And finally I thought I’d give you a glimpse at Cesar, Christopher’s son, who is only important because he might marry Tewl’s future daughter—if Tewl even has one. Otherwise, he’s just a boring little kid with bushy caterpillar eyebrows.
Tewl: Hey, shut up. I’ss a curse, you know.
Also, Cesar may have inherited some glitch monster genes from Chris because he seems to be stuck in the toddler life stage, but more on that development later.
Since Tewl was being such a cheating hoebag while I wasn’t looking, I decided to rectify this by spamming Tamara with evil interactions. >:)
Tamara: Oh my god! *self-defensive crotch grab*
Tewl: So your house. It’s, like, fuckin’ hideous and I hate you.
Tamara: *gasp* We got a badass up in here!
And then I sent him home before he could undo my expert de-friending work, and he awkwardly walked in on Morgana and Tuesday’s pregnancy bonding.
Tuesday: OMG, totally!
I don’t really have a caption for this but I had to put it in because AWWWWWWW. I freaking love Tuesday and how gorgeous she is as a mama-to-be. Oh, and I guess Morgana is alright too. DAMMIT, why can’t my actual legacy Sims be more interesting?
Morgana (to the accompaniment of angelic voices): The Chosen One! To hell with the devil spawn inside of me—we must protect Baby Steel!
Story of this bloody legacy right there.
Tewl: Hehehehehe. Psssst—I rigged da game.
You can’t rig chess…?
Chris: Hmm. What to do, what to do? If only the pieces weren’t glued to the board…
Oh. Great job with the rekindling there, buddy.
(You did not see this screenshot.)
Morgana: Nothing suspicious here!
Tuesday: Not in the slightest!
I had way too much fun with the family during these few days. Chris and Tewl’s relationship bar worked its way up slowly but steadily, and Morgana and Tuesday got pretty close, too. Even though they weren’t living up to the legacy name AT ALL, the honeymoon-but-not-really phase was nice while it lasted.
Tuesday: Suppose we pop out these kids, raise them side by side, and then force them to marry? We would be sisters-in-law!
Morgana: Not exactly, but okay.
In the background, the heavily symbolic Good vs. Evil showdown continues.
And then Morgana and Tuesday sent everything whirling down the unbreakable toilet.
Morgana: Hmm, I wonder what this would do to a pregnant lady? Hey, Tuesday!
Thing #3. Seriously, EA, get your damn act together! (But not really because I’m rather enjoying the making of this list. :D)
Tuesday: What the bloody hell, Morgana? That wasn’t a very nice thing to do!
Morgana: God, woman, suck it up!
(Says Little Miss Pukealot…)
Chris & Tewl: Showdown abandoned. Woman in trouble! Oh wait, it’s just Morgana.
Morgana: Oh gosh! I think I’m in labour!
Tewl: Holyshitwhat? MORGANA IS PREGNANT?
Tuesday: Oh my, I feel so terrible! NOT REALLY, BITCH, YOU DESERVE IT.
Chris: Meh, too lazy to get in the screenshot.
Like a good baby daddy Sim on properly functioning Free Will, Tewl escorted his girlfriend out of the house to have her baby at the hospital. Inevitably, they had to deal with the ever-present DPPP: the Doorstep Paparazzi Peanut Gallery.
Sunny: This poor child! How will it ever succeed in life with Tewl Langurd as a father?
Tewl: HEY. Watch yo mouth, bitch.
Tuesday: Wait, Morgana, I— Oh, to heck with this half-hearted concern.
In keeping with Tewlish tradition, our gracious founder sat like a lazy lout in the passenger seat while his girlfriend drove to the hospital, swerving potholes between contractions.
(Four things in one chapter, EA? Sheesh.)
Miraculously, they arrived in one piece.
Morgana: On second thought, I think I’m going to drop by the tattoo parlour real—
Tewl: NO. Get in da hospital while I go grab some Taco Bell.
Jocasta: Psssst, Morgana! I love you!
Bella: I really don’t see what’s so great about her…
Ever since I installed Twallan’s Story Progression, this is what keeps happening when I take my Sims to community lots. Not the universal adoration—that was already happening, because Tewl and Morgana are such lovable souls. What I’m talking about is entire households showing up in the same place at once, like those super tight-knit families that dress in matching colours and go everywhere as a pack. Here we see the Bachelors on a nice little outing to the hospital. Also Bebe Hart, who is not important to my point but snuck into the screenshot anyway.
But I digress. I know what you all really want to see, and that’s what Tewl bought for dinner. Just kidding, here you go.
OMG, IT’S A BASKET! Good job, Morgana! Morgana?
Morgana: Now that’s just creepy.
Yes, apparently Bebe has not yet acquired a taste for men her own age. (For realz. Not too long after this, she got engaged to Beau Andrews.)
Now show us the babies!
Tewl: NO. You git ta see my ugly face instead. I wanted Taco Bell but instead I got dese damn babies, yo! Wha’ss with dat?
Oh, grow up and get in the car.
I’m counting! One… two… three…
Tewl: DOOHHKAY, FINE THEN.
I’ve always wanted to try that. 😀
It was painful, but the overjoyed couple got in a taxi and headed on home. WITHOUT THE KIDS…????
Morgana: Shit! Where did we put them?
Tewl: Chillax, Morgs. Dey safe an’ sound in da trunk.
Gladly, we retrieved them. They were only a little damaged. And here they are for your viewing pleasure: the Gen. Two Hellchildren!
Ripper Wolff (oops, I’ll fix that eventually) was born at 9:40pm on a Tuesday (not the Tuesday, which is quite fortunate).
Anyway, Ripper is a Libra who was born with (or maybe rolled? I didn’t write that down—apparently I’m just all-around failing today) the Genius and Good traits. Not bad, little one. Ripper enjoys turquoise, cobbler, and country music. (I sure hope he enjoys brackets, too, because damn, look at this caption.)
Next came Rotter Wolff at 9:41pm. Rotter is clumsy and easily impressed, and a Cancer. He likes Egyptian music and lobster thermidor, and his favourite colour is orange (like his daddy!). Basically, the kid has nothing going for him.
Tewl: Welp, guess dat’s it. Back to life as we know it.
No, wait! Who’s that little guy on the floor, about to get trampled by Jocasta Bachelor (who—CREEPOSAURUS REX—apparently followed them home from the hospital, even though she’s never once interacted with the family)?
Why, that’s Razor Wolff. I spent many a zone-out period at work devising a third name to go with this pattern, but I really didn’t put that much effort into it because I didn’t think I would be lucky enough to get triplets. So there you go. Razor is a Good and Disciplined Pisces who was born at 9:43pm. He loves classical music, pancakes, and the colour purple. GET OUT OF THIS LEGACY, YOU PERFECT CHILD.
The triplets joined the family on Week 4, Day 3 of the legacy.
And here they all are in the shithole the bathroom their beautiful new nursery! I’m not sure if their idiot parents put them in the right cribs or not, but you get the picture. YAY, BABIES!
Tuesday: OOH! Oh dear, this is not very pleasant at all.
Yeah, but nobody really cares about you, so we’re just going to leave you in labour until the next chapter. Sound like a plan? Great. See you later!
Tuesday: WAIT, D—
Muahahahahahahaha. I am the master of suspense! LOL not really, I just couldn’t possibly justify cramming any more snapshots into this chapter. Hopefully you all enjoyed it despite the length! Next time: Baby Steel! Gosh, I wonder what gender she’s going to have? I guess some other stuff is going to happen too, but I can’t remember right now. Comments? Questions? I’m going to shut up now because my brain is possibly scrambled from the most stressful day at work ever. Until next time, Happy Simming! 🙂
Posted on August 19, 2012, in Generashun 1 and tagged baby steel, bebe, bella, birth, birthday, boyd, chess, christopher, craisin, holly, interactions that should not be possible in the sims 3, jocasta, list, makeover, michael, morgana, pauline, pregnancy, puke, razor, ripper, rotter, simis, susan, tewl, tewl 2.0, tofu dogs, tuesday. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.